gabbers Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 This is my first post and I am not sure if this is the right place to post, if not please someone redirect me. I am struggling on if I should make the split or not. I do feel as though I love my boyfriend, but I don't want to drag it out longer if this is the end. Recently my boyfriend close on his very first house and I am so excited for him. However I feel as though for the past 6 weeks all we have been doing is working on his house, spending time with his family or he has been spending time on his hobby. My boyfriends new house is about 45 minutes away from where I live, so every weekend I have to drive there and we spend the weekend working on this house. At times my job can be demanding and as a supervisor I do not like taking time off unless it is extremely neccesary so to say the least I have been getting tired and cranky. I work Monday through Friday, then I wourk Friday night through Sunday working on his house with him. I have told him I am stressed out and need time off from the house. He however doesn't seem to understand how I am so stressed and tired. He often takes days off from work to enjoy his hobby. I feel as t hough everything has focused around him, we will stop working on the house around 6 on a Sunday and then if his buddy wants to get a beer he will say yes, knowing I will have to either go with him or go home. I recently have come to the realize that his family and I are not the most compatable. I try what I can such as giving compliments, bringing flowers or wine to events they host, but I always feel like that are judging me negatively because of my religious and political beliefs differ from theirs. I question if this is a family I would want to be part of for life, I often think not. Recently I informed my boyfriend I needed time off I couldn't keep working on the house and doing what he wanted to do. His response was, we don't have to spend every weekend together and that he was going to partake in his hobby this weekend and I could just stay home. Is it to much to to just want him to make time to do what I want to do together? When I have spoken about breaking up before, he really doesnt want to and when we first were together before the house he was so kind and would always come see me, compromise in what we did and made me feel so special however anymore I feel as though its all about him and he doesn't see my needs or wants. Should I continue to wait this out, does it ever get any better? I also have guilt about the break up as he will be deploying in a few months, but worry if I feel this way now, how will i feel when he deploys? Any thoughts are helpful. Thank you!
Stillalive1 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) Speak with him and tell him exactly how u feel. He can't read your mind,tell him if he keeps this way he is goin to lose u,tell him u feel neglected. Try to ask him to put more effort in your needings and VERY IMPORTANT THING tell him exactly what do u want. I'm telling u this cause it was what could save my most important relationship,she felt neglected for a long time and she never communicated to me until she exploded. Edited December 1, 2012 by Stillalive1
Redbirdinabrightsky Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 My 2 cents: He deploys in a few months... the last thing a dude needs in a combat environment is a letter or email from your sweet sweet lady saying 'hey, I am over you, we're done.' The family, if this relationship continues, will always be an annoyance for you... Do you really want to be annoyed every holiday for the rest of your life? Sounds like, since he is deploying in a few months, that he should be all about you. Skrew the house, skrew the hobby, if I was about to be deployed, spending time with you would be all that would matter to me. That's me though. Sounds like his priorities are a bit out of whack. The Sunday night brewski with the bud and not you? If I am in my dying moments on deployment, the last thing I want on my mind is 'she left yesterday' or "I should have spent more time with her'
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