3 year relationship is now in trouble just because 4 months distance relationship

[ishiv]

Well idk , how i reached here , but yes i am in deep trouble now ,

Hope anyone out there will resolve this and help me out ..

 

I am in love with a girl for last three years( 1 month remaining) , during our relationship i never force her to do things my way...i always give freedom to my love to do anything what she wants because i trust her .. now five months back my father died a lot of responsibilities came to me as i am the only breadwinner but still i managed to talk with her daily (couple of times a day) , & we were sharing distance relationship as she got the job in another city . buti was comfortable with everything , i knew that she has the best heart n soul in this world (like every guy thinks for his girl)

but meanwhile i was suspecting something is cooking in her life..as i can easily caught her lie to me , couple of times i told her "you are lying " but she still got her ways to escape from that .........the process goes on ...

just few days back (everything was going good as it expected to go)

i opened her facebook account (somehow i got her password)

& read all chat history with that guy , that night i was not able to sleep , cried whole night ..

there i got to know ...

1. she has seen couple of movies with him ( i was not aware of it)

2. she has said "i love u" to him ..

 

3. she was in a new relationship with him ( but not got a breakup from my side)

 

i called her next day ..she first said how could you opened my fb acct ..but later on when i told here everything she told me ...

yes she is having feelings for the "new guy" and she has gone physically with him ..that shattered me ...

 

i was struct down there and was feeling pity at tat moment ..but i somehow i control myself and ask her whether she wants to live with me or with him ...

she said i love u ...but cant forget him ...

i keep talking to her , reminding her how we spent three great years ...

and now she is saying i want to live with you ...and will cutoff with him ,

i am ready to forgive everything but problem is i am fearing she will not break trust again ..

because i am already broken from inside , i can't take it more..

 

But still my mind say she is not the one for which you are doing so much efforts , but heart says ..stay with her ..

 

also she added him again (his so called new bf) as i blocked him few days ago from her account .

though she is not touch with him ( as told by her) but i am in great fear they both are working in same company ,same location and i am here @ different city ..

 

i am worried about our relationship future...

i also doubt she comes bck to me because of the fact that what society/friends will think of her after breakup with me (without any reason)

 

i am really confused over :

 

1. will she again break my trust ?

2. will distance relationship works ?

3. is she really for me ... how can she went down to him , without having any problem with me ?

 

 

guys ..please help me ....

 

n sorry i am not native speaker ...

thank you..

[Toddbt12y1]

Leave her. She is not right. If she will utterly disrespect you and cheat on you...it's not right, it's doomed, and sadly over. Move on, block her. She is messed up. Trust me:

1) Go out with friends a lot, have fun.

2) Do new things that are fun or better for you.

3) mess with random girls...but don't play them.

Why say this? It will help you to recover. Sorry to be blunt...but she is not doing you right man.

[CherryT]

Long Distance Relationships is no excuse for someone to cheat on their partner. You can be just as committed in a LDR or if you're living in the same city and vice versa. I believe LDR can work if both people are committed to each other and want to eventually close the distance. At the end of the day, she did not think about you and was not as committed to the relationship as you were. A relationship whether it's long distance or not cannot survive if one person is in it and the other is wandering. Unfortunately, none of us can answer whether she will do it again or if you could trust her. Unless you're watching her 100% of the time, you don't know for sure and that is no way to live. She's already crossed that line and that's pretty clear. I want to think, if you didn't snoop (which is also bad) and you didn't find out, would she continue the relationship? She says that this new guy is her "new boyfriend"??? What? She wants the affair and have both of you.

 

What I look for in a relationship is loyalty and trust. Whether we are LD now or in the same city that doesn't change. Her morals do not match yours and do not devalue yourself by allowing someone who you spent 3 years with, cheat on you and disrespect you. To me, I don't care if we're LD or in the same city, you cheat we're done.

[Ami1uwant]

The question to ask is why did she cheat....

 

The fact this was a LDR may have been the reason or it could have had little to do with this incident.

 

Personally I couldnt trust her again and would have ended it.

[justwhoiam]

The question to ask is why did she cheat....

 

The fact this was a LDR may have been the reason or it could have had little to do with this incident.

Yeah, that's the question.

 

I really hope it's not because of 4 or 5 months away from each other. What she did to you was terrible, but it's not clear to me how far it went. Personally, I would have let it go on for a bit, so that I could understand a bit more and then start questioning.

 

Also, why didn't she break up with you? There might be several reasons, including she wanted to tell you in person and not on the phone or while you're far away, or she's still unsure about who she really wants to be with (this is the most likely reason, as she told you), but also if he had everything she's looking for in a man, she wouldn't think twice to break up with you. So that clearly means he's lacking something. What, who knows...

 

Anyway, leave her alone for a while, and see if she comes back. You will then decide if you still want her or not. If you don't hear from her for one month in a row (or two months, you decide), you will tell her it's over.