Ninjainpajamas Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I think he's getting exactly what he wants out of you. You went into it knowing he was a player, even wanting him because he was a gloating cocky bast*rd, now he's got you in trapped in his game and you don't like it. Oh, so typical. And I mean that in the nicest way. Tell me, what did you want going into this? To get him in bed, blow his mind and blow him off giving him a taste of his own medicine? Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it sounds like to me. Did you want to find out what this "big talker" was all about come to find out, there's nothing but hot air? Is the confident but nice guy too boring for you? Oh he'll likely be back, after all he's the player of the players...everyone knows a player walks around running his mouth about it after all. Now she think she did something wrong, which is a joke...but that's exactly what you do to a woman...since many are so easily persuaded and self-conscious about things you just pull the ole... Man: ::gasp:: "how dare you think of me as that kind of a guy, do you really think I'm that kind of a man?" Woman: Well I don't know, I guess...I'm so sorry, I guess I made a mistake and just thought I don't know...I got confused, I really don't think of you that way I just though you were trying to use me Man: (snickers inside...idiot)...Well ok, I guess I can...forgive you for the offense, just don't think I'm that kind of a guy, I'm a good guy, I am sensitive and value women Woman: I'm so sorry, I didn't know...I totally messed it up, I completely misread you (I actually did read you but now I'm being outsmarted due to my own insecurity) let me take you out to make it up for you... It's all bull**** and a game people...ladies these men use the same strategies and share the same brain when it comes to women, they don't know what they're doing...and the only reason they get away with it and think they do is because women doubt themselves and their intuition so much because of their interest and emotions that the pull the wool over their own eyes...but these guys aren't smart, they're just exploiting the insecurities and vulnerabilities and sharing with each other that information...it's like one guy makes the recipe and the rest follow it and then call themselves a professional chef. You are the weakness, that's why you are vulnerable...they are not the strength, these guys lack so much confidence and any sense that they must resort to games for any kind of consistent success...and when they do, they think they've got it allllllll figured out. Women play the trick on themselves as well thinking you can tame a player and win men over, or get them to submit...or even worse, a wannabe player who's not even comfortable in his own skin that he has to wear costumes to conceal his true identity...at least a player doesn't have to dig in the gutter for self compliments and accolades, by tooting his horn to women, trying to BS his way into some impressionable facade of who he thinks he is, when in reality he's just a follower, just a squirrel trying to get a nut. 2
dasein Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Guy meets girl. Girl goes on and on about how much she likes sex and giving head, and how good she is at both. Dude goes on three dates with her and is hoping to cash in on some of that action. She declines. Guy is confused and a bit frustrated. Pretty simple and understandable. No, not quite anyway. Guy meets girl. Girl talks a big sex game. Sleepover on the second date does not lead to sex. Third date and still no sex. Male OP complains here. Replies here run from "she could have changed her mind, no means no, you aren't as attractive as you think, just because a woman talks about sex doesn't mean she wants sex with -you-, you must have turned her off, you must have a small dick, you obviously did something wrong, why do men think women owe them sex just because of the way they dress or talk? stop whining and man up, she doesn't owe you anything, no wonder she didn't want to sleep with a man who just wants sex, ad infinitum." Anyone who says otherwise either hasn't been posting here long or is delusional. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 What the What!?##@# So what if he was running his mouth? She obviously wasn't THAT bothered by it if she hung out with the guy several times and wanted to make nookie with him! Is it not evident to you that the OP wanted sex, saying so herself in this very thread? SHE said she thought he was a player so she was going to have some "fun" with him. If anything, her desire in doing so, backfired. He's running his mouth because he thinks if he can convince her of what kind of man she is then he will appear more desirable to her. Of course she wasn't bothered by it, she went with it and she wanted the awesome sex. You don't understand how a woman thinks though, that crap goes in one ear and out the other and she's already thinking of what she wants, in fact if he would have just shut his mouth and did the deed...all his boasting would have been unnecessary because she already decided she was going to sleep with the guy along time ago....all the crap he said afterward she just kind of ignored for the most part, this is ultimately about what she sees and what she wants. It didn't backfire as much as he boasted about these big shoes then couldn't fulfill him, and he's trying to control the situation and manipulate her...he bragged and boasted to achieve something else, a level of confidence and control and superiority. She wanted the D either way, it really didn't matter what he did and said...she was available, this is all unnecessary but necessary to him because he think he's a player and wants to play games...It's like you pretending you're some thief hiding in the shadows, trying to steal a pouch of coin on the bartenders bar...and she's watching you the whole time, but like an idiot you're tumbling between bar stools, hanging from the rafters, dropping down and you won't take the coins because you think all this BS is actually working when the bartender is like just take the fking money already! No but it's a whole little game he's trying to play with her, because he instead wants her to believe that he's the good guy underneath first and not a thief even though he's bragging the whole time about how good he is at stealing and how often he does it without getting caught. Are you getting it yet? 1
Drseussgrrl Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 No, not quite anyway. Guy meets girl. Girl talks a big sex game. Sleepover on the second date does not lead to sex. Third date and still no sex. Male OP complains here. Replies here run from "she could have changed her mind, no means no, you aren't as attractive as you think, just because a woman talks about sex doesn't mean she wants sex with -you-, you must have turned her off, you must have a small dick, you obviously did something wrong, why do men think women owe them sex just because of the way they dress or talk? stop whining and man up, she doesn't owe you anything, no wonder she didn't want to sleep with a man who just wants sex, ad infinitum." Anyone who says otherwise either hasn't been posting here long or is delusional. I'm not disagreeing with you. But *typically* men are the ones pushing for sex early on, so I can see why it's that much more confusing for a woman to get rejected, as in the OP's sitch. Men are more used to being told to hold off or be patient. In my opinion tho, in the above scenario that woman is a tease. You don't talk blatantly about sex with a man and NOT expect him to want it from you after 3 dates. 2
Imported Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Guy meets girl. Girl goes on and on about how much she likes sex and giving head, and how good she is at both. Dude goes on three dates with her and is hoping to cash in on some of that action. She declines. Guy is confused and a bit frustrated. Pretty simple and understandable. Is that what you did OP? Were you flat out in what you wanted? Or you just listen to a guy boast, give "hints" and wait for the guy? If its like Dreussgrrl's approach I can understand. I mean if a girl talks about what fruits to eat to improve the flavor of semen for her durring our meal and then orders me a bowl of those fruits, crystal clear. Usually not that clear though. The guy you were with probably needed a stunt cock to step in for him though or something else completely.
dasein Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Well we live in a changed world. If women want sex to happen when they want with any particular guy, they need to be more proactive and assume less about traditional roles. Threads like this kind of annoy me because if OP wants NSA sex, she can stay at home in bed and just dial down her contact list to the men she wants to have sex with. She will get sex without having to leave her bedroom. Men can't generally do this, so hearing about "this or that guy" wouldn't have sex with me and I'm annoyed doesn't sit well. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I had this happen to me once. The guy talked himself up and I thought he had sex with tons of women. I invited him back to my place one night. When it came time to do it, he froze up completely, like he "got it up" but he didn't know what to do with it. He literally lied on his back and didn't move. I even had to get the condom from his wallet and put it on him....it was like having sex with a corpse with an erection. The worst sex I ever had
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I had this happen to me once. The guy talked himself up and I thought he had sex with tons of women. I invited him back to my place one night. When it came time to do it, he froze up completely, like he "got it up" but he didn't know what to do with it. He literally lied on his back and didn't move. I even had to get the condom from his wallet and put it on him....it was like having sex with a corpse with an erection. The worst sex I ever had Hmm, well there are people into that sort of thing. I wonder what kind of clubs he's been hanging out in?
SJC2008 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 There's a poster here who comes off as a woman hater but from time to time he does raise some good points. He once said that most women would rather lose an arm than face rejection... I agree with this. He didn't go for sex and your world is shattered. Women who behave like you is where "put it in her before someone else does" came from. Mabye he felt like crap, mabye be had whiskey dick like another poster said. Mabye he's shy and puts on a player front. Mabye you did somehing to turn him off. Mabye he wants an R and wants a girl who won't give it up for a month or two. Regardless of the reason, get over it. P.S. He shouldn't of let you drive but we all know that's not what this post was about.
Divasu Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 He's running his mouth because he thinks if he can convince her of what kind of man she is then he will appear more desirable to her. Of course she wasn't bothered by it, she went with it and she wanted the awesome sex. You don't understand how a woman thinks though, that crap goes in one ear and out the other and she's already thinking of what she wants, in fact if he would have just shut his mouth and did the deed...all his boasting would have been unnecessary because she already decided she was going to sleep with the guy along time ago....all the crap he said afterward she just kind of ignored for the most part, this is ultimately about what she sees and what she wants. It didn't backfire as much as he boasted about these big shoes then couldn't fulfill him, and he's trying to control the situation and manipulate her...he bragged and boasted to achieve something else, a level of confidence and control and superiority. She wanted the D either way, it really didn't matter what he did and said...she was available, this is all unnecessary but necessary to him because he think he's a player and wants to play games...It's like you pretending you're some thief hiding in the shadows, trying to steal a pouch of coin on the bartenders bar...and she's watching you the whole time, but like an idiot you're tumbling between bar stools, hanging from the rafters, dropping down and you won't take the coins because you think all this BS is actually working when the bartender is like just take the fking money already! No but it's a whole little game he's trying to play with her, because he instead wants her to believe that he's the good guy underneath first and not a thief even though he's bragging the whole time about how good he is at stealing and how often he does it without getting caught. Are you getting it yet? Perfectly. If OP wants to play with fire (IE: Having "fun" with a Player), expect to get burned.
harcourt Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 OP, out of curiosity, had you been physical (kissing or fooling around in any other way) on any of the dates that you and the guy had been on previously?
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 But you still did it with him? Man, most women are easy lays as long as you can get them in the bedroom. I wish I hadn't. But I was determined to have sex that night. Yes, if you get me into the bedroom it's a done deal. Is it easy getting me into bedroom? Not so much. It more depends with my state of mind than who/what the guy is. I was in the mood to experiment and have an adventure that night and he was available.
mesmerized Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 But you still did it with him? Man, most women are easy lays as long as you can get them in the bedroom. Not me. If I feel like the sex would be bad there is no way i do it.
Imajerk17 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) Guy meets girl. Girl goes on and on about how much she likes sex and giving head, and how good she is at both. Dude goes on three dates with her and is hoping to cash in on some of that action. She declines. Guy is confused and a bit frustrated. Pretty simple and understandable. Maybe Guy in your example just didn't have what it took to make it happen. Or maybe the Girl here really was never that into Guy to begin with. I think it is a combination of both. Look, we guys will do a lot of stupid things to get sex from a woman we are really attracted to. Sometimes we will inflate how cool we are (exaggerate our athletic exploits in high school or how important our job is or fabricate out stories to sound wilder and crazier). Sometimes our dicks will start talking about how we want a relationship when in reality, we're going to lose interest after sex (even if we don't know it at the time). But it is VERY rare for a guy to brag to a girl he is really into how many women he has been with. Why? Because if he has any clue, he knows that a woman with self-respect will back off, 95% of the time anyway. Maybe he thought you were cool enough to hang out with even if he didn't want sex. Men have Friend-Zones too by the way. Anyway, about the self-respect thing... starla, this is AT LEAST the third time you've gotten yourself into this situation. You drive out to meet a strange guy, get drunk, and in the end he decides he doesn't want you to stay, so he kicks you out of his place, putting you in an unsafe situation of having make that long drive back home tired and/or intoxicated. Don't you ever wonder why that keeps happening to you? It's rare to find a woman who gives so little consideration to her safety and it says a lack of self-respect on your end, and that is VERY unattractive to men. That these men keep kicking you out when they know that means you'll have a long drive back, means that they aren't that into you. Some things you might want to consider. Edited December 1, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
ascendotum Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Umm he didn't say what he was looking for and when he did talk he came off like he was looking for something casual (this is what all the people that know him told me as well...that hes a player and doesn't want a relationship). So really WTF?! Also the fact that I said I wanted to stay and he wouldn't let(even though he did last time and wanted me to stay the time before as well) me when I was not safe to drive...that is not ok! I love how everyone on here is ignoring that part Possibly this guy talked it up, and as we can see it was a factor in your decision to want to want to get it on with him. As much as the older women on here talk about the double standard with guys patting players backs, a lot of women are happy to sponsor these guys. Anyway, there is a chance this guy puffed up his rep. and it worked, well part 1 did, but he did not follow though on part 2. I found it a little funny that you got pissed when he said something along the lines, that is this you think the night is, a hook up for sex. More often than not the roles are reversed on that line. Maybe he did want to spend more time getting to know before pulling your panties down. Odds are if he is vague about wanting a relationship, that means he wants casual, but he could just be another regular guy wanting some nsa fun, but really is no smooth 'many notches' player. Maybe his friends definition of player is any guy that just wants nsa relationship. As for why the reason to not let you stay that night, I'm guessing the bit where you said 'he seemed really tired' was the factor. If he wants to play the cocky player role, he's got to back it back in the sack. Some guys wont give a toss if they impress the girl or not if they never see her again + they got another notch on the bedpost. If the girl is part of their social network they ideally don't want to be a dud root and have the word getting back. If its just going to be casual then you want to make a good impression on the opening night, otherwise its better imo to postpone the event for later in the week when you can put on a better performance.
kahn2154 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I inadvertently rejected a girl like this and ruined it...I'm a virgin who was nervous and didn't have a condom.
crude Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (Chasing guys who aren't that interested--see her last thread, and putting out for guys who don't seem to want a relationship--see this post.) If SHE wants sex, then how is she "putting out" for the guy? It's more like HE'S putting out for her. And there are many reasons why a man would say no to sex. If the woman is a stranger, after 3 dates she's still a stranger, and who knows what diseases she might have, or if she's a nutcase who'll scream rape or stalk him or smack him around (yes that happens).
ascendotum Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 If SHE wants sex, then how is she "putting out" for the guy? It's more like HE'S putting out for her. And there are many reasons why a man would say no to sex. If the woman is a stranger, after 3 dates she's still a stranger, and who knows what diseases she might have, or if she's a nutcase who'll scream rape or stalk him or smack him around (yes that happens). She knew this guy through her friends. There is a social network connection plus after 2 prior dates she is really no stranger in the true sense. Most guys will take their chances on std, nutcase flip out, or a future stalker scenario, when it comes to nookie. Assuming she is not showing any disconcerting behaviour, those thoughts don't dwell (or even enter) on your mind much while you sit along side her on the sofa.
wheream_i Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 There's a poster here who comes off as a woman hater but from time to time he does raise some good points. He once said that most women would rather lose an arm than face rejection... I agree with this. He didn't go for sex and your world is shattered. Women who behave like you is where "put it in her before someone else does" came from. Mabye he felt like crap, mabye be had whiskey dick like another poster said. Mabye he's shy and puts on a player front. Mabye you did somehing to turn him off. Mabye he wants an R and wants a girl who won't give it up for a month or two. Regardless of the reason, get over it. P.S. He shouldn't of let you drive but we all know that's not what this post was about. Damn, I agree with this post so much. 1
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