na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Have you been checking up on your ex because you still care about what is going on in their lives even if it isn't you? I've been going strong for a little over a month not checking anything. How about you? Also, do you think that it's immature for me to block my ex's number when she doesn't blow up my phone or contact me? I feel like I should wait for it to become a real problem to go through with it so I don't feel like I do about it now. Maybe it will blow over and she won't bother me at all and I can forget about it. The longer I go not hearing from her, the more I realize that I'm not going to hear from her.
itsmyfault Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I have no way of checking up on my Ex, don't care what she is doing. I only care what I am doing. Also I don't think you need to block her number, I think blocking numbers is stupid. At the end of the day you will grow stronger by IGNORING there calls or texts than you will if you don't know you are getting them. If you are getting 20+ call and texts a day with out a response for some days then I would block it.
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 It does feel good to ignore her, I just hate breadcrumbs texts.. if I get them I'll play twenty questions and tell myself things that aren't true. I was just about to block her number and then I stopped myself. 1
itsmyfault Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I have to laugh, My Ex uses a forum, Something I know she used. TBH I thought she only used it twice then stopped, today I had a look and it seems she is extremely active on it, Well she was, not any more. I found loads of stuff she had posted about "us" when we were together, its weird to read it tbh. She never slated me so that's a good thing I guess. Something I've been thinking about too, the last 6 month of our relationship, well urm.. I can barely remember them, its like they never happenend, TBH we did't spend a lot of time together during the end. O well. P-A-R-T-Y Tonight!
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 There is no point in doing it. I'm happy to say that I haven't. What I don't get is why I am having such a hard time figuring out if I want to block her number or not.. If it's blocked I'll never have to hear from her again or think I'm hearing from her when I'm not, but if I don't block it and she doesn't text me then it'll be just like I blocked it. Has anyone blocked their ex's number? it sounds like the majority of people here have just ignored texts and gone on with their lives that way.
Chi townD Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Nope! Never checked up on my Ex. However, Jackasses would love to volunteer information to me without asking. Have no clue why. Maybe they were hoping to see my reaction and see if I would blow off the handle. But, once they saw I didn't give a sh*t, it stopped.
movingon12 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Have you been checking up on your ex because you still care about what is going on in their lives even if it isn't you? I've been going strong for a little over a month not checking anything. How about you? Also, do you think that it's immature for me to block my ex's number when she doesn't blow up my phone or contact me? I feel like I should wait for it to become a real problem to go through with it so I don't feel like I do about it now. Maybe it will blow over and she won't bother me at all and I can forget about it. The longer I go not hearing from her, the more I realize that I'm not going to hear from her. I have checked on my ex at times over the years- particularly after he has contacted me. His current gf's fb is public, so his pictures are on there. After the pain he caused, it is so refreshing to look at a photo of him and think 'good god, I nearly had to spend the rest of my life with that man!' I know he's unhappy in his relationship because he's told me so and if I'm brutally honest, it makes me feel quite smug. As for the phone number: the advantage of blocking is that you know they can't call you, so you're not jumping every time the phone rings or sitting there waiting for them to phone. If you're not doing that anyway, it doesn't seem necessary
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 I have checked on my ex at times over the years- particularly after he has contacted me. His current gf's fb is public, so his pictures are on there. After the pain he caused, it is so refreshing to look at a photo of him and think 'good god, I nearly had to spend the rest of my life with that man!' I know he's unhappy in his relationship because he's told me so and if I'm brutally honest, it makes me feel quite smug. As for the phone number: the advantage of blocking is that you know they can't call you, so you're not jumping every time the phone rings or sitting there waiting for them to phone. If you're not doing that anyway, it doesn't seem necessary I'm not really waiting by the phone or anything. She texted me Sunday night so on Monday morning I jumped thinking it was her when it wasn't. I guess I'll wait on doing that, if I continue to feel like I should then I'll go ahead and do it but I'm like you. My ex has told me how miserable she was and I felt smug in knowing that her life has been hell since she left me.
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) Block the number and be done with it. It is a step you can take to show yourself that you are truly going to move on even if they aren't blowing up your phone. They day of the BU i blocked my EX because i knew it was forever over and I couldn't stand the idea of breadcrumbs etcetera. Im glad i did it. If you are indecisive about whether to do this it is because you are hoping subconsciously. So i say definitely block. Edited November 30, 2012 by cavalier99
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 I really am hoping subconsciously.. I know you're right it's just that once I muster up the courage to do it. The part of me that doesn't is what stopped me. I wanted my dad to block it for me a few days ago but he needed her number because he didn't have it which I gave him today. He was going to block it when I called him and told him "forget it, if she bothers me again I'll have you block it". Not trying to annoy my dad at work, but this is annoying me.. 1
itsmyfault Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 After readin this again I did what I have been avoiding. I deleted my Ex's phone numbers. I don't have any way of remembering them. It's a relief its done tbh. Not that I will hear from her but if I do now the first reply will now be "who the F is this"
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I really am hoping subconsciously.. I know you're right it's just that once I muster up the courage to do it. The part of me that doesn't is what stopped me. I wanted my dad to block it for me a few days ago but he needed her number because he didn't have it which I gave him today. He was going to block it when I called him and told him "forget it, if she bothers me again I'll have you block it". Not trying to annoy my dad at work, but this is annoying me.. Yeah man this is tough but i can tell you need to do this for yourself. I know it might feel good for a second knowing this is tough for her...but what about when it isnt? It is better that you know nothing. It delays your healing. It is still fresh for us. We aren't 6 months or a year out. No time to feel smug lol. This about survival. Cut her out like a cancer. Just the fact that even once you looked at your phone hoping for that text..that fix is enough to know what you need to do. Take the plunge! There is no going back man! And it feels great. While your at it delete every email you ever received from her. I deleted 7 years of communication. My hand was practically shaking. What a relief. All gone. Rebirth!
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 After readin this again I did what I have been avoiding. I deleted my Ex's phone numbers. I don't have any way of remembering them. It's a relief its done tbh. Not that I will hear from her but if I do now the first reply will now be "who the F is this" Man you converted quickly!. Good move in my opinion. Now for those nagging emails. Lol don't forget to permanently delete form the trash folder. This is even more liberating that deleting / blocking the number. Rock On!! Hi Ho Silver
itsmyfault Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 haha I know! You reminded me of E-mails, I just went and deleted them, We had soooo many. All gone now though, into the abyss.
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 I've already deleted all of the emails and everything else like that. I think that what is keeping me from just going through with it is I'll feel guilty if she ever wants to contact me and finds out I've blocked her. I also can't lie, I like the attention. I'd love to get any text from my ex just to know that she is paying attention to me and I can ignore it. This is the hardest and most obvious decision I've ever had to make lol.
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 haha I know! You reminded me of E-mails, I just went and deleted them, We had soooo many. All gone now though, into the abyss. Im lovin it!! The abyss is where they should be! You wouldn't believe the amount i had. And on multiple accounts. Holy sh-t. Gone forever. It was like some sort of cleansing ritual. I felt so clean after! Lol
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I've already deleted all of the emails and everything else like that. I think that what is keeping me from just going through with it is I'll feel guilty if she ever wants to contact me and finds out I've blocked her. I also can't lie, I like the attention. I'd love to get any text from my ex just to know that she is paying attention to me and I can ignore it. This is the hardest and most obvious decision I've ever had to make lol. I know man. It is tough. But they dont exist in our world now and we shouldn't let them See ...you are letting her make you feel guilty, you want her attention, hoping to hear something, anything...END THE MISERY! She could always call you from another phone anyway. But who gives a sh-t. Just think of her thinking..WOW he blocked me (not that we should care lol) See..time to man up and REALLY start to put this behind you.
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 You are so right lol. Do you think that if I block her and she finds out next time she tries to contact me that she'd be pissed and flip out at me for doing it? I don't want to be a jerk, but I know what's best for me, and this really is it despite my unrealistic expectations and unrealistic scenarios that I play in my head sometimes. She would find a way to contact me if she REALLY wanted to.
cavalier99 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) You are so right lol. Do you think that if I block her and she finds out next time she tries to contact me that she'd be pissed and flip out at me for doing it? I don't want to be a jerk, but I know what's best for me, and this really is it despite my unrealistic expectations and unrealistic scenarios that I play in my head sometimes. She would find a way to contact me if she REALLY wanted to. She might flip out OR she might no give a crap..OR I have no clue. This is about you! We DONT care what they think because the dont exist in our world anymore. This is how we get over this and to indifference. Just another step. It is hard but necessary. This isnt even about blocking the number. It is about YOU moving forward without her. Understand? Well get thru this! Edited November 30, 2012 by cavalier99
Author na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 Well I'm done enough convincing myself. I'll tell my dad to block the number on Monday when he goes to work, and I won't look back. I'll feel much better about it when I see her, because seeing her just annoys me. I realize that is the only way for me. While others may not have needed to, I know that it will only be a distraction if I know that there is a chance of her being able to text me. Nothing she texts me would be of any help to me though. What? She wants to be friends? Great, I'm not ready for that. She "misses me"? Yeah I'm sure. I don't get any texts from her because she never cared about me anyway? Great. If she wanted to talk to me, she'd unblock me on facebook or email me or something. If she doesn't want to talk to me, good because I don't really have anything to say to her right now anyway. I also realize that this will be my way of sending her a message. When she is lonely and wants to talk to me as a friend, she won't be able to. She'll feel guilty and upset maybe a little confused. She told me when we were together that she stays friends with all of her ex boyfriends. Not me though, I bought into her too much to ever have her be around as just a friend. It's all about me now, and has nothing to do with her. Thanks cavalier and everyone else. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Nope! Never checked up on my Ex. However, Jackasses would love to volunteer information to me without asking. Have no clue why. Maybe they were hoping to see my reaction and see if I would blow off the handle. But, once they saw I didn't give a sh*t, it stopped. I haven't had any contact, be it Facebook or text or anything, in over two months. I have her news feed blocked (didn't delete her because it would cause more drama than just shutting off her feed) and I never go to her page. But like you, I get updates whether or not I want to or not (almost always not). Since she's the sister-in-law of my best friend, he'll accidentally drop in a little tidbit. Nothing major, just her moving into a new apartment and stuff like that. He doesn't talk about her with guys or anything. I can't blame him, he was my main sounding board when I was in my depressive, I gotta have her back state. I just don't react and change the subject usually. The worst was a month ago when I saw him, his wife (her sister), his brother and his brother's wife at a football game (my best friend, his brother and I went to the same university). Once my best friend and his wife left us, my best friend's brother's wife just kept talking to me about it. She meant well and was on my side, as is everyone but my ex's sister, telling me that my ex screwed up and that she should be crawling back to me and that I shouldn't chase her (which was nice). She also told me that my ex "still liked me but thinks she can do better", which pissed me off but also firmed up my NC, as there's no way I'm going to chase someone with that type of thought process. But while what she was saying was helpful for me, it pissed me off taking about it and I finally told her that I don't want to talk about my ex anymore. Thankfully she stopped.
LostOne1 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I haven't had any contact, be it Facebook or text or anything, in over two months. I have her news feed blocked (didn't delete her because it would cause more drama than just shutting off her feed) and I never go to her page. But like you, I get updates whether or not I want to or not (almost always not). Since she's the sister-in-law of my best friend, he'll accidentally drop in a little tidbit. Nothing major, just her moving into a new apartment and stuff like that. He doesn't talk about her with guys or anything. I can't blame him, he was my main sounding board when I was in my depressive, I gotta have her back state. I just don't react and change the subject usually. The worst was a month ago when I saw him, his wife (her sister), his brother and his brother's wife at a football game (my best friend, his brother and I went to the same university). Once my best friend and his wife left us, my best friend's brother's wife just kept talking to me about it. She meant well and was on my side, as is everyone but my ex's sister, telling me that my ex screwed up and that she should be crawling back to me and that I shouldn't chase her (which was nice). She also told me that my ex "still liked me but thinks she can do better", which pissed me off but also firmed up my NC, as there's no way I'm going to chase someone with that type of thought process. But while what she was saying was helpful for me, it pissed me off taking about it and I finally told her that I don't want to talk about my ex anymore. Thankfully she stopped. glad your taking it well though.. I got respect for you man that you never crawled back to her or anything.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 glad your taking it well though.. I got respect for you man that you never crawled back to her or anything. Yeah, I've had to channel my inner stubborn prick. I'm not going to lie, I occasionally get pangs of weakness where I'm tempted to look at her page or drop her a text, but I always remind myself that I'm not the one who should be chasing and that she should cave, not me. She's stubborn as hell too, but whatever, if she wants to get a hold of me she knows my number and she knows where I live. But even if she did I'm not sure I would respond -- the whole "she thinks she can do better" thing put me off. She can have fun trying.
robaday Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 At the start I was writing an email a day and saving it as drafts! think Id written about 30 during the first month but didnt send a single one. Also, was looking at her facebook, Id ask friends about her, about whether I should contact her blah blah blah. Saw her from a distance twice, she saw me both times, but I walked away, or avoided looking at her. Its been 2.5 months and Im getting to the stage where I need to really sort myself out finally and dont want her impeding on the new life Im carving out for myself - Im at the stage where I dont want her in my life. Ive begun working out daily, am learning a new language, and have gone on a few dates. Essentially theres loads of things I want to do with my life, the main one being have unshakeable confidence again which I did before I met her. Have I wanted to contact her? Sure....Do I miss her? I miss the good times, but it was awful for the last year.....Im aiming to have a better life for myself and everyone else here will too!! its a learning process which will toughen us all up and make us wayyy better people eventually!!! Heres to survival andthe future!!
cavalier99 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 (edited) Looks like most of us on this thread are 2 to 4 months out. I'm looking forward to seeing how we are all doing and supporting each other as we get on with our lives. I wonder how many times this has happened on LS. Like millions ..seem like a constant flood rolling in and rolling out. I always be grateful to you (the familiar names I see) all for helping me through this. Heck you guys are better than family at this point! I hope we can as disappear slowly in the next months. If I'm posting about breaking NC like 6 months from now you guys have permission to lynch me Lol Edited December 1, 2012 by cavalier99
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