Medley Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 So I was laying in bed with my boyfriend the other day... He had cheated on me a year ago... We were discussing what to get our parents for Christmas and he said he didn't want to get such and such a thing for his mom "like WE did last year. Well I told him "That wasn't me" and he instantly starts rambling about how I can't remember. Trying really hard to undo the blunder. Now I KNOW it was while he was with the other woman. I want to let it go, but the fact that he lies and tries to make me feel like I'm crazy makes me see red. I'm not stupid and I'm not crazy and I have an impeccable memory. I remember EVERYTHING. It also makes this particularly easy to remember because we've only ever shopped together (other than groceries) 3 times maybe in as many years. I want to punch him in the head. So bad. Logically I know he was trying to avoid a potential fight. However that just makes me even angrier. I hate being lied to and I REALLY hate being told that I'm having some sort of memory lapse. Nothing I can do or say about it now though anyway since this was three days ago. Pretty stupid to bring it up now. I do feel better getting it out though.
mammasita Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Sounds like he had a pretty deep relationship with this other woman to be buying presents for his family with her. Why did you take him back? For me, conditions on a reconciliation would be full disclosure with no lies. He obviously doesn't feel like he owes it to you to be honest. So, why are you with him? 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Cheating is no different than a form of lying. He lied once, doesn't seem repentant. He is still lying about it...that isn't good.
Andy_K Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Logically I know he was trying to avoid a potential fight. However that just makes me even angrier. I hate being lied to and I REALLY hate being told that I'm having some sort of memory lapse. . The more someone is afraid of your reaction to the truth, the more they'll lie to you, and the more they'll continue defending preposterous lies until they're blue in the face. Had you been the sort of person who'd joke around about his mistake or wouldn't get angry, there's a good chance he'd have admitted it... and then you wouldn't be so angry. You're creating yourself a vicious circle.
Trixis4kidz Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Logically I know he was trying to avoid a potential fight. However that just makes me even angrier. Why is this such a bad thing for you and women in general? You would RATHER have a big drawn out fight about it? OK, so you caught him ,and he knows he got it wrong. So he doesn't want to bring up and rehash all the memories of the event. Sure, he probably shouldn't have tried to redirect it and say that YOU are not remembering it correctly, but obviously in that moment, he couldn't think of any other QUICK answer. So unless he perpetually lies to you often, why not just let it go on your part. You've obviously forgiven him for the cheating, so move on completely.
exit82 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Nothing I can do or say about it now though anyway since this was three days ago. Pretty stupid to bring it up now. I do feel better getting it out though. BS- I bring up things from 30 years ago..........
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