TheCam Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Hi, I'm ashamed to say that I cheated on my girlfriend. It was over 2 years ago now and she's known for over 18 months; we're still together and working through it, but sometimes she falls into depression and frustration, which is understandable. I admit that she's much better at reflecting and emotional growth then me, but I have been working very hard on growing and being the person she needs me to be. Any advice on how to convince her that I've changed and am never going to hurt her again, and similarly any advice on how to be mor emotionally reflective myself? Thanks!
whichwayisup Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Have you cut all contact off with the person you cheated with? Did you two do counseling together? Did you go on your own and figure out why you cheated on her, risking your love and your relationship with her? Your words and actions should be the same. With time and her trusting you more and more, it will get better.
MAD Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I would take a open book aproach .she should be able to look at your cellphone,if your out and about check in few times a day.And try hard not to lie even if its a lil white lie .In time you might get back what you foolishly lost with her.I hope you can won her trust back good luck.
Trixis4kidz Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Any advice on how to convince her that I've changed and am never going to hurt her again, and similarly any advice on how to be mor emotionally reflective myself? Thanks! NEVER - you're guaranteeing that it'll NEVER happen again? You can't my friend. What happened happened. Life is about learning, from both good and bad things. Don't have this thought that you need to convince her, she already convinced herself to forgive you and stay with you. As long as you're not giving her reasons to doubt you or be suspicious - time will heal wounds. As far as actions that you can do. Show her EVERYDAY that you care and love her. You should be doing this anyway, IF you do. Be considerate, listen, talk, share, appreciate. I'd be willing to bet that this depression and frustration has other roots besides the cheating. Focus your efforts and attention on being the best boyfriend you can be.
Orianne Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 Well, I can relate to your girlfriend's point of view as my husband cheated on me before we were married, and it took several years for me to let it go. If your girlfriend is being depressed and emotional, she probably just wants you to hold her and tell her how much you love her, etc. If you want to show her that you've changed, you have to keep in mind that cheating essentially destroyed any trust that she had in you, so your task is to rebuild her trust from the ground up. How you want to accomplish that is really up to you.
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