Author MrCastle Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 A couple of things to address here because there are too many people to quote and I'm posting from a phone. -As I said before, I wasn't always someone with options. I was very much a loner and as I said, went through times with 0 female interaction because I rejected the idea of friendship and that "it's better than nothing". I took time to focus on myself and improve in all areas of life that I could and it wasn't long before I had options. Keeping a positive attitude also helps. So while I know it's easier said than done--if done, it will make dating easier. -Casual dating is not "taboo" or "looked down on", and is only growing with divorce rates climbing and people breaking up left and right. Most young people are not looking to settle down. This isn't 1958, women are not looking to marry and have kids by 24. Women have careers. Women want to live their lives, very few women I know are looking for serious stuff. Even the women I know in relationships know at some point, what they have will come to an end. No one speaks of their SO as "the one" but more so the one for right now. You cannot enter a relationship without casually dating that person first, so all dating starts off as casual. Casual doesn't mean a minimum of 5 different people, it can very well be just one person, but you're not seriously involved with them or exclusive. No one meets a person day one and enters a LTR with them. Everything is casual at first. And it becomes easier to form relationships when you recognize who is truly into you and who isn't, which is the main focus of this thread.
Brady_to_Moss Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 dating easy...HA would rather change the tranny out of my car twice then try and date
Under The Radar Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 dating easy...HA would rather change the tranny out of my car twice then try and date So, does that mean you are "settling" for your car's tranny ? 1
Green Light Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I understand what you are saying, but I'd rather be single than in a ****ty relationship. I mean, who wants to be with someone that "isn't into you"? Someone giving 20% to another individual that's pushing 80% isn't sustainable or healthy. The Law of Reciprocity is critical for long term success no matter how "into someone" I am. Without a complimentary effort on the other end I'm gone. Being single has numerous advantages to co-existing in a miserable relationship. First impressions are everything. If someone has to work THAT HARD to get a return text or phone call, then it's simply not worth it. Yes, to a degree it is a game, but it's all relative. A scenario unfolding like that in the very beginning of dating does not bode well for future relations . I'm not saying it's desirable. I'm just saying that I understand why so many stay in bad relationships(and I've known many that do). Because they don't think there will be anyone else out there for them. People are doing the same things with jobs now. Staying at a S***** job because they don't feel they will ever get hired again by another employer. I think the OP's idea works great for someone with great self-esteem and options but not that many people have great self esteem and some don't have many(any) options.
Green Light Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Are you legitimately arguing that there are people out there who -- if they truly tried and put their best foot forward -- would not be able to have a relationship with someone who is interested in them? Yes, I am arguing that. Putting your "best foot forward" does not guarantee anything. It certainly can't hurt but it doesn't guarantee anything. A person could put their best foot forward to become president of the United Sates but it doesn't mean it's going to happen. There are a whole lot of things that have to fall in place. There are genetics, some people are just naturally unappealing. There is personality which at some point is pretty much set permanently. And there is just plain old bad luck. I do believe that most people feel more desperate than they let on. I think that if you could give people a truth serum and then make them talk it would all come out. I see a lot of "need" out there as far as relationships go.
Necris Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I don't think that's really what the OP is saying...sure, it would be really easy if we could all find someone unequivocally interested in us the same way we are them with little to no difficulty. The point is that people make it harder on themselves by focusing on those who clearly aren't interested. When you have to ask if someone's into you...they're not. But many of us waste energy and time and effort on people who feel little more than lukewarm toward us, if even that. I see your point, but when everyone seems to be lukewarm at best toward you it does make things more difficult its not like there is that one person who's obviously interested in you that you keep ignoring in favor of the people who are obviously uninterested though I do see this alot in TV shows with ridiculous love triangle things going on, where the guy likes the hot girl who keeps rejecting him and there's the nerdy girl always trying to get his attention but he flat out ignores her or worse runs away from her every time she comes near.
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