TaraMaiden Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 She has told me a number of times she is not even thinking about being with anyone. And you realise that includes you, right...? Everything just came to a head with her being in nursing school and living away from home and a wedding. She said before she met me that she always wanted to get married young so while it was happening she freaked out and realized she wasn't ready. Right - that was her dream, but the moment the reality reared its head, she began to get cold feet and inwardly panic. This may still be her dream, but you might not be the dream-boat..... I told her why can't we go back to dating and i'll still let her go out. She said that if she is in a relationship she wants to be 100% committed to the relationship. ....'to the relationship.' Not 'to you'..... You've gone from fiance to 'soft place to fall'.... So I'm hoping she just needs to get this out of her system and realize what she really had. Her family and my family hope the same because they saw how good we were for each other. We haven't talked to each other since Saturday night. Is she missing you like you're missing her? Does she see a future for you guys? My suspicion is that she will squirm under both questions.... Here's my suggestion: Ask to see her, and discuss the following - You both agree to go total No Contact for 2 weeks. Give her this time - and the ultimatum - of thinking about your situation and coming to a firm decision: is it on, or off? if she protests and tells you that you're pressuring her, counter that by pointing out that the alternative is leaving you wondering, in limbo, with no clear idea of her decision, or a timeline, which is equally unfair to ask of you.... Why should you do that, when you didn't start this, and you have no clue of where it might end? If you get defensive comments, arguments and protests - this will be a clear red flag waving at you and suggesting you sound the retreat. I - like many others here - am confident she has no intention of resuming this relationship, and that she's either letting you down gently or is too insecure to let go of you totally, because you're a back-burner guy who she's confident will be there if everything goes tits-up. Even if you guys did 'pick it back up' it would never be the same again - you'd do everything to over-compensate to prove your love to her, and might become needy, clingy and stifling - and she would know what the alternative is, and may be drawn closer to it than you'd hope. You could never fully trust her again, either. And Trust - is a biggie.
itsmyfault Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 You are kidding yourself mate. Classic GIGS. She wants to try out other guys.... Otherwise what is the point going to bars? you go to bars to meet people. You need to see this for what it really is. The End of your relationship.
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