TPARSONS Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 I am in love with my boyfriend, who is going through a very difficult time right now. And because of what is going on with him, he is shutting me out, and continuely hurting me, (unintentionally). He want to be with me, but wants me to back off while he deals with his obsession and accident. Well here's the problem: When I met my boyfriend I was seeing someone. The guy I was seeing was only down here for school. After about 2 months of dating we both really started liking each other. Then out of nowhere he stopped calling me. And that wasn't like him. He would call when he said he would call. So about two weeks go by and I havn't heard from him. He finally called me and said he was sorry, that he freaked out because he started liking me, and didnt' want it to go any further because he was going back home in less then a year. We talked it over and I said we could at least be friends. We agreed. Then I met my current boyfriend. I gave him my phone number and he called a week later. We set a date to go out together. That day came and it was awesome! The next couple of weeks go by and we continue to see each other almost everday. I can tell this guy is really into me. And I am starting to like him alot. Out of nowhere "Joe" calls. He says he wants to be more then friends. Now I don't know what to do? Of course I want to be with him, but then I have this other guy who I like and who lives here. Two more weeks go by and I am now seeing both. My boyfriend asks me one night what is going on with "Joe"? I told him the story and he tells me he want me to be his girlfriend. (Exclusively) I thought about it for two days, and made the descion to go with my boyfriend. I went over to Joe's and told him what was going on, and he said he was just getting ready to tell me that we infact should be friends. It would just be to hard on the both of us a year from now. Well 4 months go by and I am still with my boyfriend. I fell in love with him, and am convinced we should be together. I still think about Joe all the time. Right when things starting go down hill for my boyfriend and I, guess who calls. My girlfriend has ran into Joe at a bar we all used to hang out at. The first thing out of Joe's mouth is, where is she? My girlfriend knows exactly who he is talking about. She tells him about me and my boyfriend and that I am happy. He told her that he has been trying to find me for 4 months. He wants me back indefinetly. He has decided to stay. He is not moving back home. He told her he needs to talk to me. So she calls me and says I have a suprise for you. Joe gets on the phone and says hi, how are you. I didn't recognize the voice at first, but then realized who it was. I started crying and we started talking. To make a story short, he wants me back. He couldn't stop saying he was sorry for everything, and he hasn't been able to forgive himself for what happened. I told him making the descion to stay with my boyfriend was hard. I told him I thought he was moving back home, and he said he is staying now. And wants a realtionship with me. I told him I can't just leave my boyfriend and come back to him. I know how he feels about me, and he knows how I feel about him. I don't know what to do. I told him it was nice talking to him, and I wished him luck in the future. He said he is going to wait for me, because he knows I will eventually come back. He called me everday for three months. He finally stopped about a month ago. Friday night he called. Saturday night he called and was out with my girlfriend. She called me yesterday and told me that he is absolutely in love with me, won't stop waiting for me. I told her he stopped calling me then started calling me again. She said she told him to not give up. What should I do? Please help.
Cupcake Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 I think you should follow your heart. If you still have love for Joe, then you should break up with the current boyfriend. It is a big risk. But it may be worth it in the long run. The love that Joe has expressed by following his heart, relocating, and is waiting for you, that's real love. And it's great that he is making all the effort right now, instead of forcing you to compromise yourself in order to be with him. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love doesn't give up. Before you make the decision, you need to talk to Joe and make sure that he's serious and not just heartbroken from some other female who didn't want him. Make sure that you're not his rebound. Make sure he's not crazy, because he would have to be crazy in order to make such drastic moves for you if he's going to disappoint you later. Good luck!!!
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