Easyguy14 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I'm especially seeing this in fields where people should be extra friendly. Examples for you like today I went to the p.o. and got a very nasty clerk snapping at me about wheres my i.d. to pick up a pkg. I had to straighten her out fast then she runs off and lets a male clerk deal with me when I aint even ask for him. Other examples was on 5 out of 7 instances at the bar in midtown the female barmaids are awful and expecting tips after the fact. I'm truly annoyed at this so I stopped going there and opted for les instead, the women are better there but not by much. Aren't these barmaids supposed to welcome you into their establishment for your first time with a smile and then ask what would you like to drink instead of just giving me a straight face and saying what will it be? Is it me or is this crappy? More instances is when I went to blimpies for a hero sandwich and give my order and the counter lady doesnt even answer and just makes the food yet she talks over my food to a coworker, goes silent back to me when its time to pay so I told her I'm not paying for this garbage and she brings out the mgr and I didn't ask for the jerk. He looks at me like I'm supposed to pay no matter what. They must be crazy right? Bad service and still want their money. And there was a woman about my age I was talking with on a dating site and we plan to meet up tomorrow but she leaves a voicemail msg on my phone saying she doesn't feel like going to aqueduct. She leaves no reason to me for why she cancels. I deserve a reason for this if she expects us to go on talking, right? Lots of women are getting worse and worse out here and dont wanna be accounted for their rude behavior and its pissing me off and this has been going around for weeks on end. Maybe I'm in nyc for too long. 1
SmileFace Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Haha.. Only a person in NYC will see hero... and then I look up and your location is NY and read the rest of the post and you say NYC...lol. Ok It's NYC... people are generally ruder. However it isn't only women.. don't let it get to you and making it seems as if it is women. If you keep encountering the same problem you need to look at how you present yourself to women and people in general. 2
dasein Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Lots of women have very poor social skills due to getting by on their looks their whole lives. Men are to blame in putting up with bad attitudes from attractive women. 1
MrCastle Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Haha.. Only a person in NYC will see hero... and then I look up and your location is NY and read the rest of the post and you say NYC...lol. Ok It's NYC... people are generally ruder. However it isn't only women.. don't let it get to you and making it seems as if it is women. If you keep encountering the same problem you need to look at how you present yourself to women and people in general. I was just about to say, in NYC, a large portion of women, particularly when it comes to nightlife, are incredibly rude and self absorbed. Maybe it's an NY thing. Still love it here though 1
NYC-BigKat Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Um..yup its NYC cause lots of girls are rude to me just for looking at them:( 1
NoMoreJerks Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I was just about to say, in NYC, a large portion of women, particularly when it comes to nightlife, are incredibly rude and self absorbed. Maybe it's an NY thing. Still love it here though Shame, would've thought you were ready to make the move to Canada. lol. As for the thread -- where I live, it's the exact opposite. Men are often quite rude to women. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I don't think that rudeness in customer service people is confined to women ... 4
CptObvious Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 She'll be dead in like 15 years anyway. No dbag is immortal!
Taramere Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 This former friend of mine has unrealistic expectations of being treated like some sort of demigoddess every time she spends money. She an be arrogant and imperious in her manner with service staff...to a point that I find embarrassing and unpleasant. There's no need to snuffle your nose up people's backsides, but being polite and pleasant to service staff is usually all it takes to get a courteous and good service. I don't really care if a service industry person is a bit distant in their manner or doesn't really engage with me. I'm happy to keep those exchanges as distant or as friendly (within reason) as the employee wants. If I really want to engage with somebody in a meaningful way, I'll do so with a friend or family member. However if somebody in a service industry position is being openly obnoxious and aggressive, that's a different matter. The worst person in the US I ever encountered was a customs guy at LAX. It was 16 years ago, but I still remember that sh*t. His surname was either C Whitehead or Whitehouse. He was a total prick. I'd queued for well over an hour, but hadn't filled the form in quite correctly. It would have taken 10 seconds to put it right. "Get to the back of the line and fill it in" he yelled at me. No warning...no building up of anger until it reached yelling mode. He just plunged straight into being extremely unpleasant, rude, shouty and disagreeable, which was obviously an essential aspect of his personality. What a miserable bastard he was to have as the "welcome to America" face of a major US airport. The line had grown even longer than it had been when I'd first joined it. Luckily although C Whitehouse/head was a poor excuse for a human being, the people in the queue weren't. They let me go behind the people at the very front to fill in the form. When I encountered C Whitehouse/Whitehead again, a couple of minutes later, he yelled "I thought I told you to go to the back of the line!" I thought it was best to just maintain total silence in the face of his petty officiousness. Luckily he didn't refuse to deal with me, call security and have me thrown in jail - as I thought, for a minute, he was going to. He obviously had everybody visiting the US pegged as some sort of criminal...to, at best, be shouted at like cattle and approached with a combination of paranoia and petty officialdom. I don't tend to encounter people like that very often, thank God. On the rare occasions I do, I just try to engage with them as minimally as I can and get away ASAP.
Taramere Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) Just to add... I'm especially seeing this in fields where people should be extra friendly. Examples for you like today I went to the p.o. and got a very nasty clerk snapping at me about wheres my i.d. to pick up a pkg. I had to straighten her out fast then she runs off and lets a male clerk deal with me when I aint even ask for him. Other examples was on 5 out of 7 instances at the bar in midtown the female barmaids are awful and expecting tips after the fact. I'm truly annoyed at this so I stopped going there and opted for les instead, the women are better there but not by much. Aren't these barmaids supposed to welcome you into their establishment for your first time with a smile and then ask what would you like to drink instead of just giving me a straight face and saying what will it be? Is it me or is this crappy? The role of the women you're referring to is not to give you the good feelings you might hope to get from dating an attractive woman, but to provide goods or service for cash. Hopefully applying good social skills in the process, but depending on the salary they get from their employers, it might well be a case of "you get what you pay for". I don't tend to find surly and unpleasant service is that common. I think if a person gets a lot of poor service from others then it might be time to start looking inwards for explanations. If it were happening just now and again, then you could attribute that to the person just being rude and obnoxious or having a bad day. If its happening constantly then it might be time to consider whether the problem is you. Are you transferring issues/expectations that you have about dating onto women you encounter in a non dating context? Are these issues affecting the way you speak to women in day to day life, (eg women in the service industry) with the result that you get a bad attitude in response? Posting this in the dating section suggests that you might be transferring those dating issues onto any woman you happen to encounter. Edited November 30, 2012 by Taramere 3
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Haha.. Only a person in NYC will see hero... and then I look up and your location is NY and read the rest of the post and you say NYC...lol. Ok It's NYC... people are generally ruder. However it isn't only women.. don't let it get to you and making it seems as if it is women. If you keep encountering the same problem you need to look at how you present yourself to women and people in general. I think people in NYC are more abrupt but that doesn't always translate to rudeness. I never experienced a vacuum of rudeness in the NY/NJ area while everywhere else people were so kind and generous. And I got to represent for my tri-state area because while we might be more abrupt, when things happen, people really pull together. I currently am in FL for the time being and there is a mix of nice and rude people here. FL is an interesting mix because you can have these small one story homes and then these huge mansions. I've been walking my dog almost everyday and there are people that I say "hello" too that just look at me and keep walking without saying a word, and there are others that are friendly. And I've pretty much experienced the same thing anywhere I've traveled.
udolipixie Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Aren't these barmaids supposed to welcome you into their establishment for your first time with a smile and then ask what would you like to drink instead of just giving me a straight face and saying what will it be? Is it me or is this crappy? I don't see asking what you'll have with a straight face that as being rude or crappy service. I do see that it's a possibility that you're expecting a gal to "give you the good feelings you might hope to get from dating an attractive woman".
dasein Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I don't see that OP is seeking a datelike experience from barmaids, but rather just courteous service. IME women with disagreeable personalities can and do maintain service jobs based on looks where a man acting in the same way would be quickly fired. Have experienced dozens if not hundreds of bad but hot female bartenders and staff over the years, very few similar males. As posted previously, this is due to men looking past bad service to looks. Bad, hot female staff will still draw paying customers. Hot, even average women get cut lots of slack in the service industry that no one else receives, which is the simplest explanation for OP's gripe. 2
SmileFace Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I don't see that OP is seeking a datelike experience from barmaids, but rather just courteous service. IME women with disagreeable personalities can and do maintain service jobs based on looks where a man acting in the same way would be quickly fired. Have experienced dozens if not hundreds of bad but hot female bartenders and staff over the years, very few similar males. As posted previously, this is due to men looking past bad service to looks. Bad, hot female staff will still draw paying customers. Hot, even average women get cut lots of slack in the service industry that no one else receives, which is the simplest explanation for OP's gripe. Well he posted it on the dating board 4
dasein Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Well he posted it on the dating board He raised a legitimate dating issue in the last paragraph of the OP, and nowhere even implied that he expects females in service to provide a "datelike" experience for him, that's an absurd, but typical LSish conclusion to reach from his OP. I stand by my previous posts to the thread. Women in public view service jobs are cut much more slack in customer treatment than men are, which at least partially explains OP's frustration.
Author Easyguy14 Posted December 2, 2012 Author Posted December 2, 2012 I don't see asking what you'll have with a straight face that as being rude or crappy service. I do see that it's a possibility that you're expecting a gal to "give you the good feelings you might hope to get from dating an attractive woman". I thought of this for the moment but it isnt the case because I'm not looking to hit on the barmaids. I'm spending money and if they really gave a damn about keeping business theyd ought to be as genial as possibly so that I'd wanna come back. It isnt asking for much but people make it seem like such a big favor.
threebyfate Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 I find that most customer service people and wait staff are very courteous and sometimes, overly helpful, where bad or rude service is few and far between. The last experience was a waitress who had the hots for my H, over 3 years ago. She fawned all over him while being curt and dismissive with me, for no reason since I was initially polite with her. H. told her to knock it off since he was getting annoyed at her rude behaviour towards me and her flirtiness with him. The best part was that it was my turn to pay so when she handed the bill to him, he gave it to me. Needless to say, no tip, not even a penny, where we haven't and won't ever go back to that restaurant. C'est la vie. 2
dasein Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 My best experiences with service staff have always been with males, don't get me wrong I appreciate the cleavage but im here for a nice dinner so unless im going to be sucking on them later your tits don't score you any bonus points. It puzzles me, especially with bartenders. A decent looking rude or incompetent female bartender can still make decent money. A rude or incompetent male bartender won't last a week. A good looking, good female bartender can make as much as lots of high paying white collar jobs pay and pack a bar nightly, yet I see so few of them, even in NYC and other big cities. It's a relatively easy, layup of a job (and yes I did it in college long ago and know it's a relatively easy job). Maybe it's that they get hit on or asked out too much, but that would be a small price to pay to make a relatively easy mid six figure income that is mostly tax free.
NYC-BigKat Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 It puzzles me, especially with bartenders. A decent looking rude or incompetent female bartender can still make decent money. A rude or incompetent male bartender won't last a week. A good looking, good female bartender can make as much as lots of high paying white collar jobs pay and pack a bar nightly, yet I see so few of them, even in NYC and other big cities. It's a relatively easy, layup of a job (and yes I did it in college long ago and know it's a relatively easy job). Maybe it's that they get hit on or asked out too much, but that would be a small price to pay to make a relatively easy mid six figure income that is mostly tax free. Yup its true they dont act that nice. I been to a few clubs and the bartender acted like she dont see me waving at her & its so stupid 'cause she sees me but looking someplace else & its the really really pretty ones that do this .
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