BlueGrasshopper Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Sorry for reposting in a different section. To those who are reading, I humbly ask for advice/opinions on this matter... Thank you in advance... I'll give you guys the longish version. I met a girl in my English class a couple years back and we became excellent friends, although we kind of lost contact for a while for a year. I am in the marching band and she decided to join this year, and consequentially, we started hanging out more. My friends and her friends encouraged us to go out, and she did like me at the time, so we went out... And things were great for a couple months actually! Unfortunately, she is very shy and has trouble making emotional connections and attachments because her father really messed up her viewson love... She decided to break up with me, but she reallllly wanted to stay friends, because she really likes me, but more as a friend. I asked a mutual friend who talked to her about it, and she basically said shejustsaid the same thing. That she was having trouble with emotional attachments, and she really likes me, but more as a friend at the moment. I am really crushed to say the least (although I know I can get through this, I've been through worse). Despite knowing that I'm kind of emotional right now, she is still sweet and patient like she always was and I am honestly VERY grateful to stillbefriendsdespite my sadness. I don't want to take it for granted. Anywho, I'll get to the point now... A few other mutual friends are really surprised that she feels this way. According to them, I am a catch because "Musicians and composers are rather attractive, and she might be jealous if another girl takes interest in you or vice-versa. Besides, you'll see her for another couple years anyway..." (Did I mention I am well known at my school for my musical achievements?) Essentially, they think that she might change her mind someday and probably isn't ready now. I doubt this theory mainly because I'm slightly pessimistic(and not in the mood to date anyone else right now), but the dreamer in me wants to think this to at least be plausible. So, I ask you readers... is this plausible/possible? I really like her and care about her, and I would just like to hear some thoughts. Thank you in advance and have a nice day! (I do not want to pressure her or purposely make her jealous. Both are foolish and will get me stuck up **** creek without a paddle. Do not suggest these things. I apologize for my sudden hostility.) Shar
Chi townD Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Nothing you can really do until she sorts out her own baggage. If she doesn't feel comfortable being in a relationship, well, you can't force her to being in one. You may have to talk to her I mean seriously talk to her and tell her that you would like to be friends with her at some point. But, you can't be friends with her while you still harbor romantic feelings for her. It wouldn't be fair to you and certainly wouldn't be fair to her. Tell her that you need to stop all contact with her for a while until those romantic feelings for her go away. And you don't know how long that will take. You need to let her know what it's like with you out of her life. Now, NC is a tool to help you heal and move on, and you HAVE to view it as if she isn't coming back. BUT! Maybe it will force her to handle her baggage that she's carrying and take personal stock in her life on what is important to her and what isn't.
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