He's all I want....

[Cvelilla24]

I can't wrap my mind around this answer. I fell deeply in love with an amazing but lost man. I lost my innocence to him and I wouldn't ever take that back I waited until I was nineteen. We tried to be friends after we broke up, but we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. He asked me to be a friend with benefits and I loved him, so naturally I agreed. After a while, he told me he didnt want to do it anymore and we lost touch. His brother is around the same time as mine, so I bought him a silly present. His movies got stolen, so I bought him movies that I knew he would like, gave it to him angrily since I wasn't really talking to him. A couple weeks passed, he didn't wish me happy birthday. I decided enough was enough, stopped talking to him until he text me the night of my 21st birthday party and showed up. Best present I could ask for, after two years of not knowing how he felt he told me he was in love with me, he got jealous seeing me with other guys, he wouldn't hurt me again, wanted to marry me and for me to have his twin babies in the future. Of course he was drunk, so I told him he didnt mean it but that I loved him too. He said he did and ask him in the morning. We made love that night and i didn't ask him again, we hungout most of the day. I didn't talk to him for weeks after that until I unexpectedly saw him at a party and all he said was sorry until I told him he owed me an apology. He said, "You're too good for me, I don't deserve you." at first and then I told him I know you love me. He said, "No, I don't." "I don't believe you", I replied. He said drunk, "You believe what you want to believe." I said " You're not leaving until you look me in the eyes and tell me you aren't in love with me." He said "I'm not in love with you, You know who I love? My ex girlfriend, but I messed that up so bad. After that night at your party I felt so bad." I felt my heart sink into my stomach. That was it. Two years of memories and moments I wish I could replay over and over meant nothing. It was all a lie. The next time I saw him was at a party and he was a mess. My heart broke, he was doing coke. After all that you would think I had no choice but to move on, which I have tried. I date and I'm actually talking to an old high school friend who is a great guy, but it's not the same as the passion and love I have for my ex. Even after everything I am still in love with him. Doesn't make it any better that after our fight his friend asked if he won me back. I was a little confused. He said, "Yeah he showed up that night, we talked and he said I'm going to her birthday party and I'm going to try and get her back." I know alcohol can affect what you say, could be completely inaccurate or completely true, either way I miss this man who doesn't deserve me, but I'd rather go through all that drama then be with anyone else.

 

PLEASE HELP.

I just need to know whats wrong with me, why he didn't love me? why he would lie?!

 

sincerely,

stupid&inlove

[LostOne1]

My guess is he wasn't ready to commit to a long term relationship. He's young and probably wants to see other people and isn't mature enough yet to want something special.

 

It's not your fault at all, but his and it's his loss.

 

What you need to do is move on. Do you really want to be with a guy like him? and someone that does drugs and hasn't matured and grown up to want a normal future and one with you?

 

I understand you have feelings, but THINK about the life with him. Do you want that type of guy living with you and being with you? I'm sure you expect better and want better.

 

Who knows maybe one day he will grow up, but that might not be for awhile. And you can't waste your life waiting for him to change. You need to move on with your own life and realize he isn't how you want a guy to be.

[ReadMyThread]

What's wrong with you? There is nothing wrong with you woman! Lol. I'm sure your beautiful as hell. It's THIS GUY with the problems. He is doing coke for crying out loud lol. You don't want to deal with that. Imagine how your two future would be if you two were together forever. Imagine what he could do or say while he was all drugged-up from it. It's not worth it.

 

Why doesn't he love you? Well, you said he said it himself, he still loves his ex. You were just his rebound for 2 years. Can't love someone new until you move on from the one your still in love with. He never moved on.

 

And here you are, still hung up on him which is TOTALLY understandable, I mean 2 years! Sheesh! Ouch! Lol. You will be fine! Just takes time! And you will need a lot of it since you two were together for so long and you deeply love him now.

 

And why did he lie? Lol oh that's simple to answer. He didn't want to hurt you anymore. Sadly, he led you on for 2 years straight KNOWING he wasn't going to be with you forever :/. He played you. That **** sucks! But hey, now you have learned from this expierence and in the end it will make you stronger than ever! Just wait until the strong/good days start coming in after some NC time. You'll feel like a girl version of Hercules lol.

 

You got this!

[Cutiepie1976]

Letting go is a process. You'll get there eventually. In fact, given what you're shared about this guy, you'll look back one day and wonder what you ever saw in him.

 

(((HUGS)))

[Cvelilla24]

Thank you guys, I guess I trusted him so much I didnt know he would ever lie to me. He told me from the beginning he was over her, she would constantly text him and try to talk to him but he never replied. Then he told me you can even say something to her...so I thought that meant I could trust him. I know I deserve better! Its awesome to know people don't see me as a complete loser for hanging on. I will never be that girl to chase after a man, I havent talked to him since that incident and I don't plan to. I will just keep living my life and I know eventually he will be the farthest thing from my mind!

 

YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!