Rejection

[LoveJustIs86]

So, I decided to check out this forum because I guess I'm just in need of people to talk to- who understand or can make me feel better. I have a long story- a long story that has been build up over the last several months...

 

The story starts like this. I've been dating a guy for the past 2 years... everything has been pretty good. Or things were pretty good. . . up until February of this year. In February I was working at a previous job in which we got a new manager. I didn't think anything of him at first. . . however, as time went on I guess I developed a crush on him. We didn't talk much... just little things at work. No communication outside work. He was my manager- but he was also my age- which was refreshing because I worked with a lot of high schoolers... so it was nice to see another 24 year old.

 

So I began to have harmless "fantasies" and even dreams about him. It was obviously physical attraction. Eventually in April of this year I quit this job to move on to other opportunities. However, the thought of this guy still lingered in my mind for much of the upcoming months. Yes, I still had a boyfriend... but every now and then the thought of this guy came to my head. I was really starting to just want to talk to him, to get to know him and I have no idea why...

 

I struggled with these feelings up until November- yes this past Thanksgiving Weekend things snapped. This guy from my previous job requested me on a social media site. My heart dropped. I hadn't heard anything from him in months- since I quit. It seemed was living in a new state- but was back in Chicago for the holiday weekend.

 

Long story short- I contacted him. We began talking and I told him how I felt. He seemed happy at the start. We met up for a drink and then talked for the following two days over the phone.... however, yes I still had a bf but I felt the need to tell this guy how I was feeling. Of course he found out about my bf and I pretty sure it turned him off. He told me I had to make a choice. Well when I tried talking to him again after the whole ordeal... I got no response. He hasn't texted or called in the last 4 days.

 

I'm assuming it's over. I texted him last night asking if it was okay to talk but I didn't get any response. Now I'm just left feeling pretty bummed. I built up all these thoughts about this guy for months and I was finally getting to see him, talk to him, and tell him how I felt. Then just like that it was gone again. Like it never happened.

 

I know I was wrong to start something when I still had a bf, but I felt this was my only chance. Now things are all sorts of messed up, but I'm feeling horrible regret and rejection.

 

Disappointment feels just as bad as a broken heart.

[Mandos]

I have no pity for you since I was left for another guy and can imagine my ex in your position. Just think about what you have done to your boyfriend behind his back. Did you tell him?

[ReadMyThread]

Ugggghhhhhhhhh! Yuck. Yet another thread that makes me sick to my stomach. You know you cheated on your boyfriend right? You hung out with ANOTHER dude you had feelings for behind his back and I'm sure he had NO IDEA about it. Yuuuuck. I'm going to throw up.

[LostOne1]

So, I decided to check out this forum because I guess I'm just in need of people to talk to- who understand or can make me feel better. I have a long story- a long story that has been build up over the last several months...

 

The story starts like this. I've been dating a guy for the past 2 years... everything has been pretty good. Or things were pretty good. . . up until February of this year. In February I was working at a previous job in which we got a new manager. I didn't think anything of him at first. . . however, as time went on I guess I developed a crush on him. We didn't talk much... just little things at work. No communication outside work. He was my manager- but he was also my age- which was refreshing because I worked with a lot of high schoolers... so it was nice to see another 24 year old.

 

So I began to have harmless "fantasies" and even dreams about him. It was obviously physical attraction. Eventually in April of this year I quit this job to move on to other opportunities. However, the thought of this guy still lingered in my mind for much of the upcoming months. Yes, I still had a boyfriend... but every now and then the thought of this guy came to my head. I was really starting to just want to talk to him, to get to know him and I have no idea why...

 

I struggled with these feelings up until November- yes this past Thanksgiving Weekend things snapped. This guy from my previous job requested me on a social media site. My heart dropped. I hadn't heard anything from him in months- since I quit. It seemed was living in a new state- but was back in Chicago for the holiday weekend.

 

Long story short- I contacted him. We began talking and I told him how I felt. He seemed happy at the start. We met up for a drink and then talked for the following two days over the phone.... however, yes I still had a bf but I felt the need to tell this guy how I was feeling. Of course he found out about my bf and I pretty sure it turned him off. He told me I had to make a choice. Well when I tried talking to him again after the whole ordeal... I got no response. He hasn't texted or called in the last 4 days.

 

I'm assuming it's over. I texted him last night asking if it was okay to talk but I didn't get any response. Now I'm just left feeling pretty bummed. I built up all these thoughts about this guy for months and I was finally getting to see him, talk to him, and tell him how I felt. Then just like that it was gone again. Like it never happened.

 

I know I was wrong to start something when I still had a bf, but I felt this was my only chance. Now things are all sorts of messed up, but I'm feeling horrible regret and rejection.

 

Disappointment feels just as bad as a broken heart.

 

What do you mean your only chance? Chance to find someone else?

 

If that's the case BU with your current bf NOW before you cause more pain. My ex did something similar to what you did... and in the end it ruined us badly. She was with me for 3 yrs and then boom a new guy comes in and does stuff for her and she's all over him.

 

Sometimes people FORGET what they have and want more or better. What they FAIL to realize is what they have is already so great. Don't get greedy by wanting more.

 

If you ARE looking for someone else.. then LEAVE your bf now. Because if you LOVE someone you wouldn't be on the search finding other guys. You would appreciate what you have and be happy and love your man and have feelings only for him.

 

If the above does not apply than you need to leave him and let him move on. He doesn't deserve to be lead on it's not fair.

 

I guess you kinda got what was coming sorry to sound harsh. I'm just saying this, because I see what my ex gave up with us. And in the past I got greedy too and thought I could do better once. Well it backfired on me too and it was tough to learn. I learned you NEED to be happy with WHATEVER you have and NOT get greedy.

 

SOmetimes what we have is so great and special, but as humans we demand more things, better things and get greedy. We forget what we have is all we really need.

[whichwayisup]

Chance for what? To keep your boyfriend still and quietly start something up, flirting and fun, maybe an affair on the side?

 

Do you have any intentions of breaking up with your boyfriend? If so, do that first then pursue this other guy. You got it backwards, you chased someone (yes, telling them how you feel while being in a relationship is kind of pointless) and then he found out you were with someone, it turned him off.

 

Put yourself in his shoes, imagine you liking a guy a lot, then he tells you how he feels about you ... No mention of girlfriend until later. You'd be pissed off and confused, like what why go through all that, say that stuff and have it go no where?

 

He probably doesn't want to get involved at all with you because of your relationship. Some people don't want to be someone else's ego feed.

[Toddbt12y1]

I'm glad you feel rejected. You saw something, wanted it badly, that is lust. No good will come of it. A temporary high, and it will go away. You did your B/f wrong! For what? Lust! You talk about feeling sad and disappointed? Imagine how he'd feel...to find this out: I assure you...so much more worse than you are feeling. I will not pity you...you want to screw over your b/f and keep him in the shadows. That is sad...

[LoveJustIs86]

Wow,

 

some of your responses are rather harsh, yet eye opening. I guess it's good to see other's point of view besides your family... who are probably very bias. But I'd just like to say I didn't CHEAT on my boyfriend. Never touched this guy and saw him for only an hour or so... I also brought my friend with me so it wasn't even a "date."

 

I confessed to my boyfriend what I did. I didn't go behind his back. I know I was WRONG.

 

I guess I'm just wanting suggestions on how to get OVER the mistake and move on with my boyfriend. Make the wrongs right. He has agreed to forgive me. I've never done anything like this before and DON"T plan on it!

[LoveJustIs86]

The first post on here was very helpful - thank you.

 

I've known the WHOLE time I was WRONG and didn't plan on CHEATING on my boyfriend. I never did. I even brought my friend with me when I went to see this other person. I wouldn't call it a "date," or anything... didn't touch the guy.

 

I'm not keeping my boyfriend in the "shadows," he knew what I did. Of course it started a huge argument. However, at the end of the story I knew I was wrong and CHOSE to work things out with my boyfriend. We are currently working on it. I never planned on something like this happening or doing it again. People make mistakes.

[Chi townD]

Wow,

 

some of your responses are rather harsh, yet eye opening. I guess it's good to see other's point of view besides your family... who are probably very bias. But I'd just like to say I didn't CHEAT on my boyfriend. Never touched this guy and saw him for only an hour or so... I also brought my friend with me so it wasn't even a "date."

 

I confessed to my boyfriend what I did. I didn't go behind his back. I know I was WRONG.

 

I guess I'm just wanting suggestions on how to get OVER the mistake and move on with my boyfriend. Make the wrongs right. He has agreed to forgive me. I've never done anything like this before and DON"T plan on it!

 

 

Yes, you did cheat. You don't have to have sex with someone in order to cheat. You let yourself be emotionally involved with someone other than your boyfriend. This is called an Emotional Affair (EA). You didn't meet up with this guy just to catch up and talk about what's going on with your lives. You went because he's hot, you're attracted to him, you wanted to throw signals his way and let him know you're interested. I bet that if he went in to kiss you passionately, you wouldn't have pushed him away. THAT'S the difference.

 

So, I say BRAVO to the dude for totally detaching from you as soon as he found out about your boyfriend. Gives me hope that there's some guys in the world that still have boundries and morals.

 

So, if you want to fix things with your boyfriend, you have to go NO CONTACT with this guy. Cut him out of your life completely and block him from your facebook. You're emotionally attached to this guy and he needs to go away so these feelings fade away.

[Toddbt12y1]

Hm...Well as long as he knew about it and is working things out with you, good. Your post left little info on whether your b/f knew it or not. I am glad you are not going to do it again. It is never worth it...not for a moment. Now as far as a mistake I cannot agree with that due to my own personal stance...If I had known he knew I probably wouldn't have been as harsh. Understand that many people who cheat aim for pity despite...Anyway, I am glad. Talk it out. I think it's great you two are working it out - best of luck!

[LoveJustIs86]

You are correct. I just don't know how I let this happened; because like I said- I hadn't seen or heard from him before until this past weekend... then that intensified any fantasy I had and then it all came crashing down.

 

Big emotional mess.

 

But yes, we are both blocked from each other's facebook... I blocked his number from my cell as well.

 

Obviously day by day I start to feel better.

[LoveJustIs86]

Thank you!

Sorry, should have been more clear.