lonelyguyhere Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Me and my gf were together for 8 years and then about 7 months ago we got engaged. She broke up with me last month and it is killing me. I messed up and started putting things before her like friends and work, but I always figured we would be together forever and I would have time to make it up to her but now I lost her. We live together and our lease isn't up for another 4 months so we are stuck living together. She told me she doesn't feel the same for me as she used to, but I think that deep down she still does love me. I have recently been injured in work and am stuck home with my thoughts which isn't good at all. She tells me that there isn't another guy she just broke up with me because she thinks that's what it will take for her to be happy and as of right now she doesn't want to be with me but maybe in the future. I am doing my best to let her do her own thing while being a friend and we have been getting along great. She hung out with another guy tonight who she says is just a friend and I believe her but I'm afraid she might end up dating him or something because they have a lot in common, but I don't want that because he is a big druggy. Is there anything I can do to make her realize that I can be the man she fell in love with and not the ******* she fell out of love with? Is there anyway I can make her realize that she is making a mistake and that she won't find another guy like me? This is the girl I planned my future with and I can't lose her. I'm so lost without her and don't know what to do. If anyone can help me I would greatly appreciate it.
Trixis4kidz Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 You got comfortable in the relationship and she got bored. Happens all the time. If you really want to get her back then the only way to do that is to rekindle the excitement that she felt in falling for you in the first place. Backing off from her and not doing anything is not going to cut it. The good thing is she still lives with you so you have home court advantage over any other potential guy threat. Use this to let her know, in a fun way though not aggressive. Cook a romantic meal for her, leave notes for her, buy her cards and leave them where she can find them, run a bubble bath for her, clean the house, do the dishes, buy her something nice, have her favorite movie ready to watch one night, rub her back. I could go on and on. Bottom line is she has to fall back in love with you, if when attempting these suggestions she resists - don't under any circumstance get mad or defensive. This is a time for respect and to let her breathe. All you can do is continue to make the effort in a non-smothering way. And let the magic happen.
Author lonelyguyhere Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 I have been doing something like that. She says she doesn't want to hang out with me because she thinks it's too hard on me, which it is hard, but I never gave her the hint that it was. Every time I ask if she wants to hang out or learn to drive, she still has her permit and I've been trying to help her get her license, she says that it's too hard on me. I told her that it wasn't and all I wanted to do was hang out with her as a friend for now until I can win her back but she keeps insisting that it'd be too hard on me. There are times where we are forced to hang out, like when I drive her places, and we have a great time. We laugh and talk like best friends. Is this a sort of defense mechanism for her or something? because I never gave her any hint that it was too hard on me.
Trixis4kidz Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I have been doing something like that. She says she doesn't want to hang out with me because she thinks it's too hard on me, which it is hard, but I never gave her the hint that it was. Every time I ask if she wants to hang out or learn to drive, she still has her permit and I've been trying to help her get her license, she says that it's too hard on me. I told her that it wasn't and all I wanted to do was hang out with her as a friend for now until I can win her back but she keeps insisting that it'd be too hard on me. There are times where we are forced to hang out, like when I drive her places, and we have a great time. We laugh and talk like best friends. Is this a sort of defense mechanism for her or something? because I never gave her any hint that it was too hard on me. You've let her know it's fine to hang out, she thinks differently. No need to argue. Best thing you can do at this point is practice patience. Keep making your effort and occasionally asking her to do things. Don't let her know that it bothers you that she is thinking it's going to be hard on you. Be cool and eventually you should start to make some up some ground.
Author lonelyguyhere Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 That's good advice I don't know how to thank you. I guess in my case patience is a virtue and that saying of letting something go and if it comes back it's yours is true. It's just so hard for me to deal with, but she is my world and I will try to be patient. Thank you again.
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