Embracingthevoid Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I was with my ex for five years. we recently had an argument about her sexual desire being lower than when we first started dating. lower but not abnormally low. she said the conversation got her thinking and 2 days later out the blue she says she had fallen out of love and thought there was no hope for us. Everything had been going perfectly. we are 23 years old. after the breakup she notified me that she had a crush on someone but it had nothing to do with our breakup. 3 days after the breakup I have blocked her from calling my cellphone to try and initiate NC. I believe we had a healthy loving relationship and i just find it hard to believe when she says she fell out of love. What I want to know is what are the chances that she will come back and how long? 1
GeBa Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I don't think I'm qualified to dispense advice as I am experiencing my first break up, but I can relate with you in a way. Everything with my ex was working out so well, we got into fights here and there but just small ones. One day I had a talk with her that it seems like she doesn't care about me as much anymore, and she reassured me that she loved me and would always be there for me. Then 2 weeks later out of the blue, she said that she was not in love with me the way she thought she was. I was very confused. Then she broke up with me just like that. I'm sorry if this doesn't help you, but I just thought I'd relate with you to help you cope.
movingon12 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I was with my ex for five years. we recently had an argument about her sexual desire being lower than when we first started dating. lower but not abnormally low. she said the conversation got her thinking and 2 days later out the blue she says she had fallen out of love and thought there was no hope for us. Everything had been going perfectly. we are 23 years old. after the breakup she notified me that she had a crush on someone but it had nothing to do with our breakup. 3 days after the breakup I have blocked her from calling my cellphone to try and initiate NC. I believe we had a healthy loving relationshipand i just find it hard to believe when she says she fell out of love. What I want to know is what are the chances that she will come back and how long? To be fair, if I remember correctly, you're the guy who's girlfriend left him for another guy then came back right? Then you were going to get married, but she said she'd fallen out of love with you, and had only stayed with you because she wanted kids and didn't want to start again, then said there was no one else, then admitted she liked someone else, and is now hanging out with him. I'm not trying to be harsh, but that is not 'everything had been going perfectly', that's 'there were major problems but I didn't see the signs'. There is a chance she might come back again - but the chance that you end up happily married to this woman are <1% Move on.
LostOne1 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I agree with the rest of the crew here.. I think if she keeps coming back and going.. she will KNOW she can do that to you all the time. Do you want to get married and have her also do this too? For me.. if my gf did that.. I would be DONE with her the 1st time she leaves me for another guy. Because then my trust for her is gone and I don't trust people to often.
CptSaveAho Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 This entire situation is a learning experience. I will tell you your ex is the textbook case of GIGS. There is nothing you could have done better in your relationship to stop this from happening. James Bond wouldn't have been immune to the same scenario.
Author Embracingthevoid Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 This entire situation is a learning experience. I will tell you your ex is the textbook case of GIGS. There is nothing you could have done better in your relationship to stop this from happening. James Bond wouldn't have been immune to the same scenario. Thanks cptsaveaho. I was thinking that might be the case. Maybe if I had given her space the first time things wouldn't have ended the same way the second time around. I have initiated NC and I am going to do my best to stick with it and move on as if she isn't coming back. I'm graduating college in 3 weeks and may be moving states for a year or so to take a new job before coming back to my hometown. So I will just move on best I can if sometime down the road a year or so she tries to contact me saying that she is sorry and won't find anyone better than me then I will deal with it then. I still love the girl but know I couldn't take her back RIGHT now or it would just happen again. If only we had met each other in a different time in our lives...
Chi townD Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 dude, sorry to say this but she was cheating on you. The Red flags are there. Drop off in sexual activity. Falling out of love with you which is pretty close to the ILYBINILWY Speech Having a crush on someone else BUT HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR BREAK UP! (uh huh....yeah...right) She's already invested in someone else.
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