GeBa Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I posted this is the Break Up section but I was getting advice on moving on and stuff. I kind of want answers on whether maybe I can make things work again with my ex. I apologize in advance if this is really long, I just really need some advice. We were together for 9 months and everything seemed to be going well. I didn't think this day would come as everything seemed perfect. She is very sheltered so we rarely got to hang out outside of our college. We would spend most of our time at school. Our relationship was very intense and fast paced since the start. Since we first started going out, she always felt that we were going way too fast, yet she said she couldn't help it because it felt right to her. We are both each other's first partner, and everything we were doing was completely new to us. We talked so much on the phone--probably more than when we've ever actually spent time together. She had a very rough childhood, and always kept everything to herself. She claimed to have told me stuff that she couldn't even tell her own family. She also said that she's always felt comfortable with me since we first met, and it was something that she had never experienced before, not even with her former best friends. We've got into little fights here and there about natural jealous stuff, but I was always more jealous than she ever was. However the past 2 months, we've been arguing about how I don't give her enough space, and I would tell her maybe it was because I didn't get to see her much because of how she couldn't hang out outside of school being that she's sheltered. About two weeks ago I had a talk with her about how I didn't feel loved anymore/felt like this wasn't going anywhere, and she comforted me by saying that she loved me and that she'd always be there for me, and everything felt good again. I guess I just constantly needed some reassurance. Then suddenly out of the blue, one day we were talking normally, and I thought she was joking when she said its probably better if we just be "best friends". When I asked her why, she told me that for the past two weeks she's been thinking about what I said and she told me she didn't want to hurt me anymore and hold me back from the things I wanted to do with her. She said she couldn't give me the things I wanted. She was telling me stuff like it was too emotionally draining for her and it was interfering with her studies because she was so distracted. I told her then maybe we can take a break or take a step back in our relationship but she told me "no". She kept insisting that we just be friends from now on. I told her that I wouldn't be her friend because it would hurt too much, so she proposed that we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. I just don't see why she wouldn't try to make it work. I asked her if we could ever be together again later on and she told me she didn't think so. I don't get why all of a sudden she feels like we can't ever work this, even in the future. I asked her so many times if she's met someone else, and she always said no. She said she didn't want anyone else, and she didn't want me to have anyone else. It's true cause I'm always with her so there's no way she could be seeing another guy. Also I have no evidence to convict her of that. She even has jokingly told me that she would "hate my new girlfriend". So I'm pretty sure she's telling the truth when she says that it wasn't because she met someone else. 2 days ago I told her that after this semester (because we have the same class) I would not be in contact with her anymore, she looked sad but she said that it was fine. When I hugged her she started crying, and I said I loved her and she was angry that I said that. Today we had class together, when I got to school I texted her "hello" and she ignored me. Also, when we were about to go to class when I saw her, she didn't even say hi to me, I had to talk to her or she would have ignored me. I asked her if she wanted to have lunch and she said "no". Then she left early after class, and I told her to wait for me, and she just left. I'm not understanding why she's trying to avoid me now. It's weird because we blocked each other from Instagram, but she still has my mom as a friend (who she barely even knows), and likes my mom's pictures and stuff, maybe trying to get my attention I don't know. Should I just leave her alone? Or should I just show her some way that I still want to be with her? I don't want to lose her forever. I'm afraid if I don't do something now, then we really will never get to talk to each other again after this semester. I'm also afraid that she'll think I don't care about her anymore. I want her back so badly.
kyle77 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I think the best thing you can do is try to move on with your life. What I mean is by doing that, you have the best chance at getting her back one day. Imagine if you got back together now, all the same problems would be there. But if you got back together after you have sort of moved on it will be like a new relationship and you guys will be happier and wiser in the future.
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