my first real heartbreak...any thoughts would help :( broken heart

[C32missJ45]

hi anyone...& everyone

 

im just looking for any type of advice on what i should do...

 

im only 16 but i feel like this should be the end of my life because of this guy who i believe is the most perfect person that could ever be.

 

we met almost 3 years ago but knew that nothing could happen because we lived in totally different parts of the country..however we continued to talk and as time went on we seemed to just be perfect for eachother. & i still think we are. we started getting really close about a year into it maybe a little more than that. anyways we talked about everything..planned our lives someday...even picked out kids names...even promised that we would get married! everything seemed like it would be so perfect.

 

then he graduated...& hes going to college the middle of this month

 

but since we had only seen eachother once, he came out to see me last week. when he got here everything was great...hugging some little kisses and holding hands and a few i love yous. everything i wanted it to be and the next morning he even slept on my stomach and it was just sweet.

 

then things went downhill...and i dont even know how it happened. we barely said 2 words to eachother until the day he was about to leave...there was maybe one more kiss and still hugs. i felt like i couldnt talk to him and that he didnt want to talk to me. on thursday i wrote him a note because i felt like i couldnt talk to him, and i told him everythin i was thinking, how much i love him and how i felt that i couldnt talk to him.

 

then on friday (he was leaving on saturday) i tried to talk to him and tried to explain to him that i just want to be able to talk to him and be like it was. and then i asked if i was ever going to see him again and he said "i doubt it" because he was always going to be away (at college hes playing division 1 basketball so hes always on trips to different parts of the country for games) and then i asked well are we still going to talk and he told me yes. (he had promised before that no matter what happens we would always be friends and always keep in touch)

 

finally, i asked him if he still cared...and he told me "I dont know" and thats what hurt so bad because all this time hes been telling me that he loves me so much and that we're gonna get married and that i mean so much to him and now he "doesnt know"

 

so he stopped saying i love you. when he left i got a hug goodbye and thats all...now i dont know if i'll ever see him again and i feel like theres no way i can get back what we had. i dont know what to do or say and it hurts so much. i only wish i could get the days back and have told him sooner but i cant.

 

to make things worse...i got a phone call on saturday night and there was a girl saying "stop calling my boyfriend you ho" and a lot of other stuff liek that so i called him and he said he had no idea what was going on with that or why anyone did that or who could have had my phone number. but they called me from his phone. so i'm not sure if he was playing stupid games and trying to make me not call him or even talk to him anymore or if it was just one of his friends that was drunk and being stupid or something because i'm positive that he doesnt have a girlfriend.

 

i havent talked to him since and haven't been able to stop crying since he got on that subway & left.

 

i get told that its going to get better but i just dont see how. ive never hurt liek this before and i dont know what to do. i love him so much and care about him so much. he really is my world and my everything and without him i just dont knwo what to do with myself or anything

 

i would appreciate ANY thoughts or ideas please :'( my heart is broken

[LoveBear]

I'm sorry you're hurting. It feels like the end of the world, I know this well. It always feels like the end of the world when someone you love hurts you. But, what everyone is telling you is true, in time, it does get better. You won't hurt anymore, when you give yourself the time to heal. I've always thought it was the end of the world. That I wouldn't be able to continue living without this person in my life. But everytime (2 serious relationships, including 1 marriage) I gave myself the time to heal and I found myself. You will find someone else when you are least looking for it, although you should always remember you don't need someone to be happy. Never let another person be your world, the reason for your happiness.

 

I don't really know what to say about your ex. I feel that because the two of you are so young, and he's going to college, he didn't want to settle down and be tied to you. I think he's doing this so he won't hurt you. That's why he isn't telling you he loves you anymore, and he didn't make any promises to come and see you again. He may have had time to think about it, and maybe finally seeing you in person, and realizing how much you care for him, he's trying to save your heart. It's better that he's being honest with you, rather than playing games with you.

 

The only advice that I can consider, is let yourself move on. He has, you should too. He's young and trying to discover who is is, as should you. Avoid contacting him for the time being, give it time. Time heals all wounds.