Author supdawg1985 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 What do you consider initiating from the female perspective? Are most girls too shy to approach a guy and start a conversation? It's been a couple weeks since I've been working with her after I asked her out to lunch and am trying to figure out how to handle it. I seldom talk to her as I don't want to waste time if she's not showing any interest. So I guess continue ignoring her for now unless she reciprocates?
Lani Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Are you actually ignoring her? Because if you are, it will seem strange. You can't ask someone out for lunch, and if they say no, not really speak to them again and assume they'll know you're still interested. She's never going to get that. How about just act like you would around any other girl you're interested in. If all that happens is she becomes a friend, then is that really so bad? Unless you see that as a waste of time, in which case, just leave her alone because thats pretty jerkish.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 What do you consider initiating from the female perspective? Are most girls too shy to approach a guy and start a conversation? It's been a couple weeks since I've been working with her after I asked her out to lunch and am trying to figure out how to handle it. I seldom talk to her as I don't want to waste time if she's not showing any interest. So I guess continue ignoring her for now unless she reciprocates? I would give up and move on.
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 I'm not shunning her, I just don't want to be the one who always has to initiate. Just doesn't seem like there's much point in pursuing something when it's one sided. I'm definitely not being a jerk about it.
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 14, 2013 Author Posted January 14, 2013 I've definitely pursued girls more than once after being rejected (both times it was because they had bfs already as it turned out). It just appeared like there was some chemistry at first but she doesn't seem as enthused when I do talk to her now. Just not getting the best signals. I'll just test the waters again and see what kind of vibes I'm getting I guess.
Lani Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 Just do it casually, and if she says no, then shrug it off with an 'Ahhh well, it was worth a shot!' Good luck
Malia25 Posted January 14, 2013 Posted January 14, 2013 This reminds me of that one time I worked a seasonal job. I used to sit by myself in the lunch room and I would always see this guy staring at me from his table, where he sat with all his friends. I could tell he wanted to come talk to me, but he never did. On our last day, he was standing at the front door and finally said HI to me. I was happy he did, although he didn't say anything further after that. I never saw him again... Sorry for the random story. But anyhoo! I think you should ask her out one more (final) time. I like Lani's suggestion of asking her (and a bunch of other coworkers) out for happy hour or something. That puts the pressure off the both of you and you will be able to talk to her later. From there, you can survey how she reacts or feels. If she's not receptive, no worries. At least you were brave enough to try. A lot of guys aren't! G'luck!
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 19, 2013 Author Posted January 19, 2013 Ehhh, I talked to her a few more times at work and it went pretty well. I'm sick of initiating EVERY time though. Not much fun in a one way relationship so I'm giving up now.
Recommended Posts