supdawg1985 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Here's the situation: Met a new girl at work this week, she's damn cute and we seem to hit it off from the start. Definitely find her attractive, and feel I'll make a move at some point. Seems pretty soon to do anything now, but the deal is that I am going to be laid off for 3 weeks. I was thinking of just easing into something casual, like maybe asking her out to lunch my last day, and maybe getting her number just to keep in touch. Is this too soon? I don't want to be too forward for something with potential...I might even be getting ahead of myself, but don't want to go 3 weeks without seeing her and not having done something. Any thoughts?
zebracolors Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 If you treat this like a typical situation, then Id say as long as she feels comfortable with you having her away-from-work contact info, then you can always keep in touch with her that way if she is receptive of course. And after a little more time, ask her out for something casual. Your idea of lunch is good, or just for something spontaneously different, go for ice cream together. However, the other side of this is that if you are sure you'll be coming back to that job after 3 months, there is always a little risk of dating a co-worker. I mean about if for any reason down the road you two have a disagreement, well then having to work with her could be awkward for both of you. Mind, Im only saying this is a possibility. Best of luck:)
Author supdawg1985 Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 Thanks for the advice. It's actually 3 weeks. And I just met her a few days ago. Don't want to get ahead of myself, but I figure something casual would allow me to get to know her better at least.
Author supdawg1985 Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 Any other opinions would be appreciated : )
Author supdawg1985 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 Could use some more opinions if there are any. Thanks.
Candle037 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I think you should ask her out for coffee, lunch, something casual. See if she goes for it. If she says no or wont make time then dont ask for her phone number. I think asking for her phone number right away would blindside her. Just start with hey wanna get lunch with me? Hey what ya doing after work wanna go eat something? See if she goes for it and if she responds positively then after the coffee, lunch, dinner then get her number. I have dated people I work with it does get awkward if you break up but hey most people meet there partners in the workplace and I would do it again. Also you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Go for it! Be cool and confident and do not take it personally if she politely declines. Hey if she does they'll be plenty of lovely women at your possible new job!
Toddbt12y1 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Take Zebra's advice. Sounds solid. Yes, try getting her #. Don't worry about work, just her and you. I mean, work on that. Take her out, after she gives you her #...if she does...and talk to her for a week or so, till it feels very comfortable for you two. Then ask her to lunch. Seems like a great way about it.
er1n Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Definitely wait til the last day. I dated a guy I worked with for 4 months. It was new to me and him not working here anymore makes it so much better. No office chatter and we actually have time to miss each other! You see each other all day every day and dont realize that you spend more time being professional and "uptight" together than you do having fun and letting loose. Who wants that?! Leave the uptight stuff out of the dating view. It messes with your perception of the person sometimes.
Author supdawg1985 Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 Thanks for the advice. The only thing I'm a little worried about is that I've only just met her like 4-5 days ago. I wouldn't make any move whatsoever if I wasn't getting laid off for a few weeks.
ScreamingTrees Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Sniff a clean rag, and then say "wow, this smells bad. can you smell anything?" and take the chloroform rag out of your pocket and give it to her. Then drive her in your car to the "hospital"..
Candle037 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Ok wait for the last couple days you work then do it. If you are really not comfortable because its only been like 3 weeks then dont as her out. You are right about feeling this way and you shouldn't be hesistating if you are not comfortable. A few days is very short and of course both you and her would prefer to know someone better but you dont have time.
Author supdawg1985 Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 So I asked her to grab some lunch and she said she had plans to eat with a friend that day. Not sure if she was trying to make an excuse. She was gone for a while, so maybe there was some truth to it. Well, won't see her for a few weeks at this point.
zebracolors Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 Well, you at least did what you set out to do which was to ask her out before your last day. But at this point you just have to take it at face value that she's telling you the truth. But I wouldn't dwell on it much, as you hadn't invested much emotionally yet. If you were gracious about it, then that should go a long way with her to keep things from being awkward between you two once you return to the job. Though, I can only speak for myself on this part. If I was the girl in this situation and I was genuinely mutually curious about you, but didn't want to bail on my friends, Id offer to do it another day. and if I knew you'd be away from the job, Id probably offer my contact info.
Author supdawg1985 Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 Well, just told her maybe some other time. Didn't seem that awkward really. And yes, not emotionally invested since I just met her like a week ago. My biggest problem in the past has been waiting too long to make a move, to the point where I would be much more heart broken if things didn't work out. Whatever. It is what it is, not really beat up over it.
Candle037 Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 I agree with zebra colors. If I was the girl and I liked you I would have offered another time. However this doesn't mean she is not interested in you if she didn't offer another time. Good for you for going for it!
Author supdawg1985 Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 It's not the be all and end all since we just met. Mostly, I wanted to at least throw out the impression that I have an interest. So...balls in her court so to speak.
dasein Posted December 1, 2012 Posted December 1, 2012 So I asked her to grab some lunch and she said she had plans to eat with a friend that day. Not sure if she was trying to make an excuse. She was gone for a while, so maybe there was some truth to it. Well, won't see her for a few weeks at this point. Would give it one more try and then move to other options. In general strike while the iron is hot when meeting someone new, and you did that, so good on you. If they are interested, and quality, they will usually suggest an alternate when rejecting a date invite, so odds aren't good. Worth one more shot though. Good luck.
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 9, 2013 Author Posted January 9, 2013 So I've been back at work and seen her a few times since I asked her out to lunch. Nothing's real awkward but I can tell there just isn't the same "spark" of interest on her end. She's not being mean or rude but I can just tell. So.... Should I just ignore her or say "hey" every once in a while? I'm not emotionally attached btw, but hey, she's still attractive. Whatever happens, happens though.
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 10, 2013 Author Posted January 10, 2013 No thoughts? Would like some advice.
Author supdawg1985 Posted January 11, 2013 Author Posted January 11, 2013 Nothing from this highly opinionated group? Disappointed...
ScreamingTrees Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Why wait until the last day? Wait until the last week, or maybe a day or two prior to even that.. It could either A. build up unecessary tension for something petty and insignificant, and B. seem rather calculated on your part to wait until the very last day, as if you'd planned on it all along. Just go for it before you get to that final stretch.. Then a few days after you're off you call her and see what's up.
MrCastle Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 So I've been back at work and seen her a few times since I asked her out to lunch. Nothing's real awkward but I can tell there just isn't the same "spark" of interest on her end. She's not being mean or rude but I can just tell. So.... Should I just ignore her or say "hey" every once in a while? I'm not emotionally attached btw, but hey, she's still attractive. Whatever happens, happens though. You asked her out to lunch. She said no. Whether or not she was being honest about her plans is immaterial. I would ignore her unless she initiated contact first. You have no feelings for her (yet), she turned down your offer, you don't owe her anything. 1
Lani Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 If you're going to be away from work for 3 weeks, then I think that totally justifies having some drinks with your work peeps before you head off, right? So organise that (because it will be fun anyway!), and invite her. If she says she can't make it, then ask her if she'd be keen to catch up another time and could you have her number. 1
MrWindupBird Posted January 11, 2013 Posted January 11, 2013 Just ask her if she'd like to have some coffee or whatever. Honesty my man. Coffee's not a serious date. It's non-committal. Coming up with an elaborate plan may increase your chances slightly... But if she's down, she'll get some coffee. If not, your time will be wasted no more. I wish you luck. Girlfriends you work with are great. I know some people are adamantly against them, but I think they pass the time a lot faster.
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