GeBa Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 So I still await for advice about my break up with my girlfriend, please help me here's the thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/359477-my-girlfriend-9-months-broke-up-me Now in the meantime I decided to stop contacting her but the problem is that we have the same class for 3 more weeks until the semester ends. So now, I won't be contacting her anymore at all. But I run into her in class, and just around campus. Even after this semester, there's a chance I might run into her here and there while walking to class. I was off to a good start. I'm trying to win her back by trying to get her to miss me. However, today as I was on my way to my car I saw her in the library. We saw each other, I just smiled and waved at her. She smiled too, but I think it was more out of embarrassment because she's the one who keeps trying to avoid me. Also, how long should I keep no contact before I want to make things work again?? Thanks GUys
denxnis Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I feel you man, broke up with my ex gf about 1 month ago and I have been terrible at doing NC. You need to do NC forever until you are completely over her brother or until she says "I made a mistake can we talk about this". If you need to vent post on here - just DON'T CONTACT HER. I am trying to do the same. Feel free to message me and we can get through this together.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 It's not tricky at all. Don't talk to her, don't wave, don't do anything. If you have to, which you shouldn't unless you are in the same study group or something, be polite and to the point.
Author GeBa Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 I feel you man, broke up with my ex gf about 1 month ago and I have been terrible at doing NC. You need to do NC forever until you are completely over her brother or until she says "I made a mistake can we talk about this". If you need to vent post on here - just DON'T CONTACT HER. I am trying to do the same. Feel free to message me and we can get through this together. Thanks for your support man. I don't contact her but its unavoidable that I see her twice a week because we are in the same chemistry class. And we have 1 day of lab and we are assigned lab partners so I can't avoid her then. I hope you're doing well bro. Do you plan on getting back with her on the future.
Author GeBa Posted November 29, 2012 Author Posted November 29, 2012 It's not tricky at all. Don't talk to her, don't wave, don't do anything. If you have to, which you shouldn't unless you are in the same study group or something, be polite and to the point. Yeah like I said above, we're assigned lab partners so that's like the only contact we have to have. I want her to know that I'm not bitter, and that I've accepted it. I also don't want the awkwardness I've been experiencing since Monday.
LostOne1 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 I feel you man, broke up with my ex gf about 1 month ago and I have been terrible at doing NC. You need to do NC forever until you are completely over her brother or until she says "I made a mistake can we talk about this". If you need to vent post on here - just DON'T CONTACT HER. I am trying to do the same. Feel free to message me and we can get through this together. I disagree... my ex told me she wanted to work it out then the day we had to meet she flakes out. Its also breadcrumbs.. so I would stick to NC unless they are really showing or pushing to show they want to work it out.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Yeah like I said above, we're assigned lab partners so that's like the only contact we have to have. I want her to know that I'm not bitter, and that I've accepted it. I also don't want the awkwardness I've been experiencing since Monday. Then just don't talk about it. Just stay on task.
Chi townD Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Yeah, you can say you're not bitter...for NOW! But, you're going to experience what's called the roller coaster of emotions. Right now you're not bitter. But then you'll see her talking to another dude on campus or you'll see her on the phone laughing or any little thing will cause a trigger and the you'll be angry as hell. Then you go from angry to depressed, then you'll go from depressed to numb, then you'll go from numb to indifferent, then you'll go from numb to happy, then drop down to sad for no real reason........This happens and IT'S NORMAL!! Another reason why NC is so important is because it will help the roller coast ride end more quickly.
Author GeBa Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 (edited) I miss my ex so much. It hurts me to think that what we had(still have) is going to waste. She's the love of my life. The only reason why she broke up with me is because she said she didn't want a relationship right now (hard to focus on school and work). And i keep thinking in my head its going to work out again, but then I get sad because I don't know if it will. It's usually times when I get bored, I start thinking about us. And I know I'm supposed to keep busy, and I do with music. But right now I'm tired so I'm just sitting here thinking about her. I'm home alone, I feel lonely, and left behind. I keep thinking she's probably not even hurting right now, and she's probably just having fun and moved on already. : ( I can't even listen to some of my favorite music anymore because it reminds me of her and it brings back intense feelings of times we shared while listening to the music. I'm also anticipating that tomorrow she's going to be cold again during class and lab, and act like I'm a stranger, like someone who was never in her life. It's sad because this doesn't have to happen. We both love each other, but school and work got in the way. It was just wrong timing! We could be together right now, but to save our prospective careers and future, she's just trying to erase this whole thing so we can get back to work. Edited November 30, 2012 by GeBa
Simon Phoenix Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I hate to break this to you, but the "too busy with work and school" thing was just an excuse. Everyone is busy and as you grow older, you only become busier. So don't blame it just on being busy -- for whatever reason, she just doesn't want to be with you. And guess what? That's her loss. The emotional stuff is normal -- hell, I'm pretty advanced in my coping and there are still things that trigger me (the stupid ass song "Call Me Maybe" for one). However, through time you'll get less and less affected by the triggers and you'll move on. But yeah, don't go back and say "well, if this and this wasn't happening, we'll still be together". That does nothing but hold you back. And if she wasn't "too busy", there would have been another excuse she would have used. You have to let go of those straws and be free.
na49 Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I'm in a similar situation, I need to deal with seeing my ex in two of my classes. She acts like I'm a stranger, so I do the same thing. I don't even do as much as look her way if she starts looking at me I just ignore her. The reminders are tough on me too. I still can't listen to any song that is too "love related" in one way or another. People just say things and it triggers memories, not that I want it to but it just does. It's sad to accept the fact that someone you used to love, and who used to be in love with you, now wants nothing to do with you. It's even more tough when you have to deal with seeing that person so I know where you're coming from. Luckily the semester is over soon. I wouldn't wait for her if I were you though, and definitely don't start playing twenty questions with yourself every time she does something.
Author GeBa Posted November 30, 2012 Author Posted November 30, 2012 I'm in a similar situation, I need to deal with seeing my ex in two of my classes. She acts like I'm a stranger, so I do the same thing. I don't even do as much as look her way if she starts looking at me I just ignore her. The reminders are tough on me too. I still can't listen to any song that is too "love related" in one way or another. People just say things and it triggers memories, not that I want it to but it just does. It's sad to accept the fact that someone you used to love, and who used to be in love with you, now wants nothing to do with you. It's even more tough when you have to deal with seeing that person so I know where you're coming from. Luckily the semester is over soon. I wouldn't wait for her if I were you though, and definitely don't start playing twenty questions with yourself every time she does something. Hey man thanks for sharing this with me. My ex was trying to act like a stranger to me on Wednesday, but I didn't want it to look like I'm mad or bitter so I just acted as if we were friends. We used to spend time together all day at school, so we stopped doing that too. But what I'm saying is, when it comes to being in class together, I don't like making it awkward so I just act normal (minus the intimate stuff, of course). It's weird because today in lab and class, even though she was still being a little awkward, we were sort of flirting with each other unintentionally. I probably shouldn't have done this, but after class I asked if I could have a hug, and she gave me one. And thanks for the advice, I'm not looking for anyone right now, but I'm also not waiting for her. If someone new comes along, then someone new comes along.
Author GeBa Posted December 2, 2012 Author Posted December 2, 2012 (edited) So my ex just texted me after only a week of NC (outside of class). All she put was "hey". I didn't reply back, I don't know if I should entertain this. Yes I do want to give us another shot, but I don't want to make it seem like I've been waiting for her. It's like a chess match, one crucial mistake and you lose, but one right move, and you win. So I'm really trying to be strategic. Its been two weeks since our break up, but one week of NC (outside of class). Hmm what to do? UPDATE: I just got another text about 40 mins later from her sister saying that I need to contact her as soon as I get her message. Now I'm starting to think this is an emergency or something. I think I need to reply. Help quick please because, what if it is something important?? Edited December 2, 2012 by GeBa
Simon Phoenix Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 So my ex just texted me after only a week of NC (outside of class). All she put was "hey". I didn't reply back, I don't know if I should entertain this. Yes I do want to give us another shot, but I don't want to make it seem like I've been waiting for her. It's like a chess match, one crucial mistake and you lose, but one right move, and you win. So I'm really trying to be strategic. Its been two weeks since our break up, but one week of NC (outside of class). Hmm what to do? UPDATE: I just got another text about 40 mins later from her sister saying that I need to contact her as soon as I get her message. Now I'm starting to think this is an emergency or something. I think I need to reply. Help quick please because, what if it is something important?? If it's an emergency she'd call you. Who texts in an emergency?
Author GeBa Posted December 2, 2012 Author Posted December 2, 2012 I'm so mad right now. I should just let it out right now. I'm by her work. I'm thinking about just straight up tell her how feel. I want to call her a bitch seriously. Should I just do it? I want to hurt her ego. What do you think??
Simon Phoenix Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 I'm so mad right now. I should just let it out right now. I'm by her work. I'm thinking about just straight up tell her how feel. I want to call her a bitch seriously. Should I just do it? I want to hurt her ego. What do you think?? One million times no. Really, really, really awful idea. You won't hurt her ego -- she'll just think you are a pathetic stalker. Just stay away from any contact with her.
na49 Posted December 2, 2012 Posted December 2, 2012 I agree with Simon, the best way to hurt her ego is show you that you are over her and are loving life without her.
leo88 Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 my ex and i go to the same college also lol.. Doesn't it sucks balls that you have to pretend that you are happy with life without her... My ex thinks she can sense everything from 10 miles away cause she a scorpio..
Author GeBa Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 So, yesterday I was fooled. I thought she missed me because I got a text from her which apparently was from her sister, which just led me to more pain. I went over her work because I was concerned for her because of how her sister made things seem. When I get there, what do I get? A bitter ex who asks me what I'm doing there, and totally acts cold. I wasn't there to fight, I was there because I was concerned, and then she acts cold. Well I really don't know what to do from here. I'm really frustrated and mad. I also feel very sad that what was the best thing that ever happened to me is now over. I thought i'd finally found what made me really happy, just to have it taken away from me. Even if she came back to me explaining she made a mistake, it's all different now. It's over permanently.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 3, 2012 Posted December 3, 2012 So, yesterday I was fooled. I thought she missed me because I got a text from her which apparently was from her sister, which just led me to more pain. I went over her work because I was concerned for her because of how her sister made things seem. When I get there, what do I get? A bitter ex who asks me what I'm doing there, and totally acts cold. I wasn't there to fight, I was there because I was concerned, and then she acts cold. Well I really don't know what to do from here. I'm really frustrated and mad. I also feel very sad that what was the best thing that ever happened to me is now over. I thought i'd finally found what made me really happy, just to have it taken away from me. Even if she came back to me explaining she made a mistake, it's all different now. It's over permanently. Stop talking to her. That's all there is to it. You shouldn't have gone by her work.
Author GeBa Posted December 4, 2012 Author Posted December 4, 2012 Stop talking to her. That's all there is to it. You shouldn't have gone by her work. Hey Simon, I just read your advice after I went to her work already to try to see what was up. Then I went back to my car and I sat there for a little and posted about how I wanted to go back and call her a b**** and stuff like that. I want to let you know I followed your advice on that, I didn't end up going back and saying that rude stuff. Thanks for your help.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Hey Simon, I just read your advice after I went to her work already to try to see what was up. Then I went back to my car and I sat there for a little and posted about how I wanted to go back and call her a b**** and stuff like that. I want to let you know I followed your advice on that, I didn't end up going back and saying that rude stuff. Thanks for your help. Baby steps I guess Next time don't go in at all. Just not worth it man. But yeah, glad you didn't make a scene.
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