pack4 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Well, I'm 21 years old, Engineering student and I think I really have a problem when it comes to girls, but not any girl, just the ones i'm interested in. Usually I'm very outgoing, I actually make friends of both genders very easily. I've always faced some problems talking to girls but somehow I could overcome this, but always taking a lot of time and needing the girl to make some moves too, I've had 3 girlfriends, and I used to date some girls every now and then... But for some time I've been facing trouble with them, I look at girls all around, but I can't go talk to them, even if I make a HUGE effort inside I just can't move a finger to go there, I think I would feel less affraid going to war. But then, even if somehow I get to talk to a girl I like, if she's my friend's friend for example, I feel confortable again, I talk to them in a nice way, I'm always making them laugh, until I have to make some move, I feel like I have to be 100% sure to do that, but I can't be that sure... so then I don't make any move, I feel paralyzed like I am when I need to start the conversation, I ALWAYS think that I will be rejected, but this is not the problem, I fear the situation itself, of having to face tha girl just after she rejected you, that kills me! Do you really think there's hope for me? hahahaha
fonewear Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 I recommend drinking a little bit so you are more relaxed. Again I stress a little bit you don't want to be drunk.
dasein Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Sure there is hope. There's no shame in being rejected in anything in life, nobody cares as much as we think they do. And if a few do and laugh at us, screw them. Consider volunteering in a hospice or old folks home for awhile. I did some of that around your age. Tends to put any little rejections we suffer in life in perspective. Once you get comfortable talking to people who are dying, you can talk to anyone. Imagine being on a deathbed one day and looking back at a rich, full life. Imagine few if any bad memories in life coming from being rejected, and most of the good things, including women you knew, coming from taking risk, getting out of the comfort zone, setting challenges for yourself. You probably already apply this kind of thinking to other aspects of your life, why not meeting women? Sorry for the philosophizing, it's late here.
Nightsky Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Well, I'm 21 years old, Engineering student and I think I really have a problem when it comes to girls, but not any girl, just the ones i'm interested in. It's kind of comical that you say "but not any girl, just the ones I'm interested in." haha. I mean that makes sense. I used to have the same problem. Usually I'm very outgoing, I actually make friends of both genders very easily. I've always faced some problems talking to girls but somehow I could overcome this, but always taking a lot of time and needing the girl to make some moves too, I've had 3 girlfriends, and I used to date some girls every now and then... But for some time I've been facing trouble with them, I look at girls all around, but I can't go talk to them, even if I make a HUGE effort inside I just can't move a finger to go there, I think I would feel less affraid going to war. More comfortable going to war than moving a finger to talk to a girl you like. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm First off you're really losing it. Secondly it's all in your head. That's right. You care to much about nothing. Reprogram your mind to just do, and stop caring so much if you get rejected. But then, even if somehow I get to talk to a girl I like, if she's my friend's friend for example, I feel confortable again, I talk to them in a nice way, I'm always making them laugh, until I have to make some move, I feel like I have to be 100% sure to do that, but I can't be that sure... so then I don't make any move, I feel paralyzed like I am when I need to start the conversation, I ALWAYS think that I will be rejected, but this is not the problem, I fear the situation itself, of having to face tha girl just after she rejected you, that kills me! Do you really think there's hope for me? hahahaha Yes, I think there is hope for you! hahahahaha You will get rejected most likely. It's not a big deal. It's cool when a guy doesn't worry about that kind of thing. Make the moves even when you are 0% sure. Stop treating your ego like a baby.
Imported Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 Don't think about it....just do it. I have this "quality" sometimes where when i really want something but it scares me, most of my mind shuts down and the part that doesn't, gets me to where I need to be and 3...2...1...action! Sink or swim bitch! Yeah, seriously. I'll be checking out a girl, doubting myself and next thing I know I am in front of her and well, it's on now. Also, you never went to war, you have no idea.
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