The Birthday Text

[denxnis]

Posted on here few weeks back, long story short my ex and I broke up after being together for 6 years. I did not treat her as well as I should have admittedly, few times yelled at her she rarely yelled back; she basically changed for me and was deeply in love with me. Told me many times she would like to marry me.

 

I did all the wrong things after our breakup, begged her back, bought her roses, asked her to move in, called her a whore when I found out she was with another guy, apologized, etc...

 

Now I'm on NC for about 4 days, my birthday is coming up and I'm not sure whether or not to text her back if she says "happy birthday". Part of me thinks someday we may resolve our differences while part of me says to hate her and ignore her.

 

It seems every time we talk she hears only the negative or remembers only the bad memories we had. I asked my family to remove her from Facebook and when they did she freaked and emailed me, "What did you tell your family!!".

 

At this point I hate her and love her. Her new friends/roommates are influencing her I know without a doubt and I just don't understand how a bunch of single women she just met influence her SO much. Plus the only time she talked to them about me is when she was upset so her room mates hate me too. I'm pretty sure she is hanging out with her coworker (the other guy) as we speak... How can someone who loves you so much move on so quickly...

 

She also said a week after our break-up she still sees a future with me and still loves me.

Then about a week ago she said her coworker is falling in love with her and she needs to stop that because she doesn't want to be in a relationship... wtf is going on here!?!?!

 

 

Sorry for rambling, just trying to avoid any contact with her.

Edited November 29, 2012 by denxnis

[big bear]

10 waiting calls, 1 missed call and 1 msg wishing birthday.

 

Have not replied. My birthday is today.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/355476-wasted-almost-2-months-nc-3.html

 

Of course all relationships are different.

[LostOne1]

Posted on here few weeks back, long story short my ex and I broke up after being together for 6 years. I did not treat her as well as I should have admittedly, few times yelled at her she rarely yelled back; she basically changed for me and was deeply in love with me. Told me many times she would like to marry me.

 

I did all the wrong things after our breakup, begged her back, bought her roses, asked her to move in, called her a whore when I found out she was with another guy, apologized, etc...

 

Now I'm on NC for about 4 days, my birthday is coming up and I'm not sure whether or not to text her back if she says "happy birthday". Part of me thinks someday we may resolve our differences while part of me says to hate her and ignore her.

 

It seems every time we talk she hears only the negative or remembers only the bad memories we had. I asked my family to remove her from Facebook and when they did she freaked and emailed me, "What did you tell your family!!".

 

At this point I hate her and love her. Her new friends/roommates are influencing her I know without a doubt and I just don't understand how a bunch of single women she just met influence her SO much. Plus the only time she talked to them about me is when she was upset so her room mates hate me too. I'm pretty sure she is hanging out with her coworker (the other guy) as we speak... How can someone who loves you so much move on so quickly...

 

She also said a week after our break-up she still sees a future with me and still loves me.

Then about a week ago she said her coworker is falling in love with her and she needs to stop that because she doesn't want to be in a relationship... wtf is going on here!?!?!

 

 

Sorry for rambling, just trying to avoid any contact with her.

 

The same with my ex before.. all she had was BAD memories of us. It was as if any good memory I brought up was thrown away or ignored and she brought up something bad I did... And it's EXTREMELY tough to talk to someone, who just says negative things about you.

 

That's why I kinda gave up then and backed off for a bit. I realized no matter what I say or do.. her mind state is so messed up right now she won't reason or listen. Her emotions are too intense and she's too hurt.

 

If I were you I'd just back it up and get some space for yourself and give her some too.

[denxnis]

@LostOne1,

 

Yeah man that's good advice - definitely doing NC and just going to try and get back the weight I lost and work on my career.

 

Worst part is she might have slept with someone else, if she did I honestly have no idea why I am even here, should be a closed case ha..

[LostOne1]

@LostOne1,

 

Yeah man that's good advice - definitely doing NC and just going to try and get back the weight I lost and work on my career.

 

Worst part is she might have slept with someone else, if she did I honestly have no idea why I am even here, should be a closed case ha..

That's because your mind is playing games like mines did. My ex told me she had a new friend and that she BU with me, because I lost contact with her when she needed me the most. And this new guy living in the same place was there for her.

 

So I assumed her needing space was her wanting to give this guy a chance. I mean she always talked about him, he always cooked dinner for her ( my ex doesn't know how to cook, her mom always cooks for her since she's a chef) and they would go for drives out.

 

So either it was to make me jealous of losing her or it was serious, or they were friends. Either way she never took me back. And in the past she loved me so much, she has never been this mad at me or cold. Which makes me believe she was with someone else. But like I said I have no way to prove or disprove it. And slowly I am just letting it go... because I know that guy was nothing..

 

He worked at KFC, just immigrated here to this country, has a criminal record already and some old lady stalking him, who also threatened my ex. So if my ex wants all of that even if the guy has been nice to her and told her he likes her... then that's up to my ex.

 

But I'm glad I got out of it and I won't have to worry about knowing if she cheated or not. I guess she feels like a fool now, because when I returned her stuff apparently her parents went through it all. So they know about me for sure.

 

So if she did cheat on me.. when she introduces the guy it will look stupid on her part. That she was with me for 3 yrs, but replaced me with another guy within 2-3 weeks and said she would marry him next yr and all this crap to me.

 

As my dad told me and I will pass on to you. THANK GOD and say GOOD RIDDANCE for taking her out of my life. You saved me god from a terrible mistake and person that would've screwed my life up and now I am free to find someone better.

[Cutiepie1976]

Alrighty, moving away from the unproductive ex-bashing and back to your question: if she sends you a birthday text, respond via text with "thank you."

 

You're very emotional right now, and not really in control of your behavior. Obviously calling someone a whore is not the way to win her back, but you just couldn't help yourself, could you? You're doing yourself a huge favor by maintaining no contact.

 

Good luck.

[big bear]

I do not agree with replying.

 

I did not 2 messages and 12 calls, but still I did not.

 

Do nothing.

[flitzanu]

no, you shouldn't reply. that means you're opening up conversation. you're going to then believe it means more than it does, and get hurt again. leave it alone.