What in the hell is wrong with my OLD profile?

[Jethro]

I don't use POF, I use OK Cupid and I pay for that service. But I am going to make the move to Match tonight. Or after I do my photos.

[dasein]

Will defer to female taste on the baby pic generally, but still think it unflattering from a male POV, makes him look too young, double chin, too much hairy arm, his hands look chubby. I was actually told that a baby pic in my profile looked cheesy and contrived by a few women on match, which is why I'm not so keen on them any more. But, OP my results did go up when I let women choose my pics out of lots of choices, so pay attention to female pic opinions for sure.

 

The reason I say ditch POF is that I didn't have time to do more than one site, and match was worlds better. Since men get 99% of results via outgoing email, I'd always rather be sending an email to a paying customer than not.

 

My examples were to form only, certainly don't duplicate any example I posted in my dashed off post. My results went up when I put several inviting type questions in my profile -similar- to the examples posted. The examples I chose were due to OP's outdoorsy preference.

 

As far as zany, there's funny, and then Rip Taylor or Michael Richards zany. Humor is powerful in measured doses, but I found when I got too much like "The Joker" (and I did some -doozy- funny profiles over three years) my views went up, but genuine date interest went down. Remember we are casting a broad net here, 95% of the getting to know should be on the first face to face and after.

 

Agree that the sexual references should tend more towards romance than overt sexuality and as stated 1-2 max in a whole profile. But it does help, especially someone like OP who needs to make his profile more personal as opposed to objective.

[pteromom]

I am a 25 year accomplished and published photographer. I just HATE taking self portraits, but I'm gonna work on it.

 

You have no excuse then. I'm a photographer too. Assuming people are a subject of yours, you know how to use lighting to bring out eyes, minimize skin flaws, and reduce a double-chin. So do it already! You have absolutely no excuse not to have a dashing photo.

 

You need to do this TODAY. Because I guarantee your photo is the #1 thing putting women off.

 

Let's see some twinkling baby blues.

[Jethro]

I can definitely help you here. Male close to your age but with significant OLD experience and success.

 

EDIT: Ignore overly negative "advice" in the thread, there are some folks here who aren't interested in giving legit advice but airing only their own, obvious issues.

 

Your comments are super appreciated dasein... just took me a while to read through them! Everything you said makes sense, it's just one of those things you don't realize until you ask or are told.

 

About the negative comments, I'm sort of an online forum junkie, so I'm no stranger to the self serving idiots with an agenda. I've gotten good at ignoring them.

[pteromom]

Will defer to female taste on the baby pic generally, but still think it unflattering from a male POV, makes him look too young, double chin, too much hairy arm, his hands look chubby.

 

I like it. I think his lips look very kissable in that pic.

 

The reason I say ditch POF is that I didn't have time to do more than one site, and match was worlds better. Since men get 99% of results via outgoing email, I'd always rather be sending an email to a paying customer than not.

 

Makes sense! I agree that people who pay are generally more serious.

 

As far as zany, there's funny, and then Rip Taylor or Michael Richards zany. Humor is powerful in measured doses, but I found when I got too much like "The Joker" (and I did some -doozy- funny profiles over three years) my views went up, but genuine date interest went down. Remember we are casting a broad net here, 95% of the getting to know should be on the first face to face and after.

 

I defer to your experience. I just know what I like. A funny profile is very appealing to me - as long as it is honest and showing the person's personality.

 

Agree that the sexual references should tend more towards romance than overt sexuality and as stated 1-2 max in a whole profile. But it does help, especially someone like OP who needs to make his profile more personal as opposed to objective.

 

I agree with you... romance is definitely a plus - as long as it doesn't move into the cheesy.

[dasein]

Oh sorry for the misread on OKC POF, same analysis.

 

Next you want to fine tune your emails. I only mail women who have been on the site in the last 72 hours, never the "last online over three weeks ago" ones, well some very rare exceptions.

 

Two-three short paragraph email is best. Used a "three point sermon" sales type approach to emails, all three points relating her profile to why she might like to go out on a date with me. One joke, and then at the end, "Check out my profile and if interested, let's talk further. If not interested, just click the "not interested" button and I'll head on down the road." This last sentence got me more dates than anything else, as it suggests innocuous action and a choice without being demanding or pushy. It says so many subtextual good things in one sentence that I don't want to type them all out, just trust me and use something similar.

[dasein]

Not strictly topical, but just heard a match.com ad in the background where a couple had a good date, and at the end, the woman asked, "so do you have any questions for me?" and the guy replies "yes, when can I see you again?"

 

MEN... DON'T EVER DO THAT!!

 

You could even hear the negative, disappointed tone in the woman's laugh in response to him on the commercial!

 

To make it topical, another thing about OLD profiles and emails for men is to make it subtly clear that you are a prize worth catching, and won't be caught easily by just any ole woman. People value what is earned more than what just falls in their laps.

[Stephanie]

Jethro, I left your profile url up as long as I could.

 

I took it down because google will catalog it from loveshack and if someone you contact on the dating site googled your id it would point them right to this thread.

 

If you need more input then you are more than welcome to post up the text, as long as it doesn't have any identifying info in it.

 

 

Thanks

[pteromom]

Not strictly topical, but just heard a match.com ad in the background where a couple had a good date, and at the end, the woman asked, "so do you have any questions for me?" and the guy replies "yes, when can I see you again?"

 

MEN... DON'T EVER DO THAT!!

 

You could even hear the negative, disappointed tone in the woman's laugh in response to him on the commercial!

 

I haven't seen the commercial, but there is definitely a FINE LINE between interested and desperate. You want to seem interested - you don't want to leave her at home wondering if you liked her and whether you will call. But you don't want to come across as needy and clingy either.

 

 

To make it topical, another thing about OLD profiles and emails for men is to make it subtly clear that you are a prize worth catching, and won't be caught easily by just any ole woman. People value what is earned more than what just falls in their laps.

 

This is a fine line too. You don't want to come across as arrogant or entitled. I get that you said SUBTLY.

 

But I do think Jethro did an OK job in that area. He doesn't sound like a jerk. He has a full life with lots of hobbies and interests, so he doesn't sound desperate. He doesn't talk down about himself (one of my biggest pet peeves - if you don't like yourself, why should I like you?) He sounds interesting to talk to.

[Jethro]

Jethro, I left your profile url up as long as I could.

 

Right on Stephanie, I appreciate it and was worried about that myself. Was just signing on to delete it actually.

 

Great feedback from this in that short time though. Great forum you guys have here, very active. Wouldn't mind messaging people that contributed to this thread if I'm allowed to do that and with their permission. I've been on here a bit.