PinkSapphire Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Apparently, I have a high sex drive. I want intimacy at least twice a week, preferably more when in a relationship. I feel it brings us closer keeps us connected, and is generally a good time. If all is good between us in other areas, sex should be often and fun. I've only had one boyfriend, but his sex drive was pretty much nonexistent and it killed me. Destroyed my self-esteem, made me feel unattractive to him (propositioned and asked out constantly by other guys, so def did NOT feel unattractive in general), and caused me to become insanely jealous and insecure of him with other women including his ex. This cannot happen again in future relationships ever, because if I have that risk I would much rather remain single. So, to the question. Where do I find a man with a high sex drive, one more compatible with me, so I can finally know what it is like to feel desired and wanted by the man you love? Thanks!
pbjbear Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Apparently, I have a high sex drive. I want intimacy at least twice a week, preferably more when in a relationship. I feel it brings us closer keeps us connected, and is generally a good time. If all is good between us in other areas, sex should be often and fun. I've only had one boyfriend, but his sex drive was pretty much nonexistent and it killed me. Destroyed my self-esteem, made me feel unattractive to him (propositioned and asked out constantly by other guys, so def did NOT feel unattractive in general), and caused me to become insanely jealous and insecure of him with other women including his ex. This cannot happen again in future relationships ever, because if I have that risk I would much rather remain single. So, to the question. Where do I find a man with a high sex drive, one more compatible with me, so I can finally know what it is like to feel desired and wanted by the man you love? Thanks! I would consider wanting this amount of sex a moderate sex drive. There are men out there that want sex multiple times a day. I dated one and it became physically hurtful after awhile. Men that focus heavily on sex in conversation quickly upon meeting you usually do...or you could just ask. Many OLD sites have questions like these where you can see peoples answers. Many men would love to have a woman with a high sex drive...dont feel youre unworthy!!!
henderson14 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 "high sex drive" "at least twice a week" I think everyday if you see each other is normal. Maybe twice a day on weekends when you spend all day together.
carhill Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 OP, based upon your stated desires for a healthy sex life, I think you'll find the vast majority of physically healthy men to be compatible in that regard. After dating more and having a few more boyfriends, I think you'll find the path which works for you. Unfortunately, the first boyfriend wasn't compatible in that regard. You're young and there are many more to come your way. Personally, while my behavior may be outlier for a male, I find my desire for lovemaking to increase as we develop more emotional and spiritual intimacy/synergy as the relationship progresses. Such a man might be incompatible if one's emotional perspective vacillates but one's sexual desire remains constant. In other words, my libido drops when feeling emotionally distant from my partner. Another man, one better at compartmentalizing, can feel distant emotionally but still have a high sexual desire and want to have sex even if he's otherwise disconnected. This perspective may be more compatible with a woman who desires/needs consistent/frequent sex. In all relationships, synergy is so important to long-term positive outcomes. The more you date and the more men you are intimate with, the clearer such matters become. Good luck.
Author PinkSapphire Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Thanks for the responses! I actually suspect with a willing partner I would want sex much more often. I had to reduce my expectations being with him, and when your partner tends to dislike sex and tell you you are "too demanding" when you try to seduce/initiate, it kinda kills the mood in general. In fact, it got to the point where I didn't ask anymore because being rejected was just too painful. Needless to say, I cried a lot during this relationship and NEVER want to experience this again. If I had a bf where I spent a whole day with him...well, I wouldn't know what that is like. I am sure I would want it a few times - and hope for some cuddling and maybe spending the night (I would so LOVE to wake up with a partner, have morning sex, and go to bfast. Best. fantasy. ever.) ScreamingTrees, yes I do want your number hehe Maybe this is how I should find such a man
pteromom Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 How to find a guy with high sex drive? Walk outside, grab the first guy you see, and your odds are pretty good. The relationship you are coming out of was very unhealthy. An expectation of a healthy sex life is reasonable. Just make sure you don't swing too far the other way - don't make sex your top priority when choosing your next partner, and ending up with a guy who is extremely passionate but abusive or disloyal or disordered. Make sure you know what you want in a relationship, including good sex, and don't settle for less. In the meantime - if you want to go out and have a one night stand just to remember that you are desirable and sexual, I would sign off on that (as long as you can handle it emotionally). 2
bac Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 So, to the question. Where do I find a man with a high sex drive, one more compatible with me, so I can finally know what it is like to feel desired and wanted by the man you love? Thanks! A good question! You want to find a new BF with high sex drive who loves you! Do you expect us to know where the special man who loves you is located? As for men with high sex drive, you can find them on AFF.
stillafool Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 You can find a man with a high sex drive pretty much anywhere. Why spend time even thinking about your low sex drive ex? You should have been on to the next guy by now and happy. One thing to remember, guys who have a very high sex drive usually like to use it on more than one woman. One is never enough.
runningfar Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Apparently, I have a high sex drive. I want intimacy at least twice a week, preferably more when in a relationship. I feel it brings us closer keeps us connected, and is generally a good time. If all is good between us in other areas, sex should be often and fun. I've only had one boyfriend, but his sex drive was pretty much nonexistent and it killed me. Destroyed my self-esteem, made me feel unattractive to him (propositioned and asked out constantly by other guys, so def did NOT feel unattractive in general), and caused me to become insanely jealous and insecure of him with other women including his ex. This cannot happen again in future relationships ever, because if I have that risk I would much rather remain single. So, to the question. Where do I find a man with a high sex drive, one more compatible with me, so I can finally know what it is like to feel desired and wanted by the man you love? Thanks! Twice a week? I considered dropping down to twice a week at the end if my marriage to be a shame. I don't even consider that a high sex drive just a normal person. There are a lots if guys who can handle that. Your ex is not the norm. I don't think it will be a problem. Don't worry!
somedude81 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Pinky, most men have a high sex drive. Your boyfriend just happened to be one of the rare men that didn't.
ascendotum Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 You cannot use what you had as a benchmark for normal and thus wanting it more than 2x a week as the definition of high sex drive. It depends on the age bracket of the man you want as to what will be 'normal' sex drive, and also the stage of your relationship as to the frequency of your sex. We don't know if your guy was 20 or 40, but given you don't have much relationship experience I am guessing it was a young dude and sorry but you just had bad luck on the former guy. Seriously, no need to hunt with a specific requirement of 'high libido' if you want it more than 2 times a week and initiated by the guy. Horny is pretty much 'base specs' with young guys and chances are you wont luck out twice in a row.
Treasa Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Oh man, do I know how you feel. I prefer it every day, and out of the last three guys I dated, one was a secret transgender wannabe who wanted to be a woman and get screwed by other men, and the other one was more into video games than sex. I think I have to up my standards some. 1
CaptJay Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Pinky, most men have a high sex drive. Your boyfriend just happened to be one of the rare men that didn't. Get a bit older, boss... see what happens...
somedude81 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Get a bit older, boss... see what happens... I'm 31, still as high as when I was 18. BTW, something tells me that the OP isn't dating men 30+ so it's nothing she has to worry about.
Imported Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I'm 31, still as high as when I was 18. BTW, something tells me that the OP isn't dating men 30+ so it's nothing she has to worry about. Jerking off /= sex Many dudes can have a hard-on easily when jerking off, but then find they have problems when they have an actual girl in front of their cock. This does not make for fun times or ones you want repeated often. 2
ThaWholigan Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Jerking off /= sex Many dudes can have a hard-on easily when jerking off, but then find they have problems when they have an actual girl in front of their cock. This does not make for fun times or ones you want repeated often. I can verify this is true.
somedude81 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Jerking off /= sex Many dudes can have a hard-on easily when jerking off, but then find they have problems when they have an actual girl in front of their cock. This does not make for fun times or ones you want repeated often. Seriously? I can get hard if I stare glance at a girls cleavage for too long. 1
pteromom Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Many dudes can have a hard-on easily when jerking off, but then find they have problems when they have an actual girl in front of their cock. This does not make for fun times or ones you want repeated often. It's highly individual though. No reason to scare people who haven't had that experience. LOL I've known 20-somethings with erectile issues, and 50-somethings with no issues at all in that department. So many things can affect it. Not something to worry about unless it happens. (And unless it happens several times. Anyone can have a one-time issue.) 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 (edited) Jerking off /= sex Many dudes can have a hard-on easily when jerking off, but then find they have problems when they have an actual girl in front of their cock. This does not make for fun times or ones you want repeated often. Well let's be fair, some women don't know how to get a cock hard and just want you to walk around maintaining it...especially in this type of scenario; ::wrestling around fully clothed, getting hot and bothered...erection in full patriotic flag over Iwo Jima force, could stand against 100 mph Hurricane Sandy winds without wavering, slamming against the back door of your jean zipper...like let me the f out!:: Her: "Wait a minute, I gotta go pee real quick" You: "Ok go ahead...but hurry back" ::slap on the ass as she leaves:: doodoodoo doo doo da doo doo doo...(definitely doing more than a pee...probably a tampon or a dookie, oh well, no anal tonight) several minutes later... ::she hops casually into bed again...her buttocks chilled by the porcelain throne...we restart of the previous moment like if you just paused a movie then hit play:: several minutes later... Her: "Ugh...wait a minute my hairs bothering me I need to put it up"... ::she gets up...oh it's not on the dresser...where can it be? well let's go find it! no sense of urgency here after all!:: doododoo dadoo doo doo da doo several minutes later... Her: "Ok...where were we?" Him: "I think we were....here" Her: "Oooo" ::once again, restart the previous session, kissing, undressing, passion ensues...her cooled body now feels like she's been hanging out of a window on a freeway...nonetheless you signal to the private down below, take her down!...aye aye captain!:: She wraps her legs around you...you've just eased back into the moment and then.. Her: " Ahhh ahh " You: "what, what!...what's wrong this time!" Her: "My leg, ow, my leg ow, it's cramping....ow ow owie" Your penis: "For crying out freaking loud woman, you couldn't have pissed, dookie, removed the tampon, pulled your hair back, did some stretches BEFORE WE GOT IN THE GOD DAMN BED!" an awkward several minutes later... Her: "Ugh...ughh...phew, Ok...ok it's gone...I'm sorry, let's keep going..." You: ::sigh:: "Alright" She pulls you on top only to feel your flaccid lump of man meat resting upon her vagina pillow like a dead beached whale(you know that piece of fat cushion above her vagina) who minutes before was able to pierce steel... Her: "What...what's wrong, how come you're not hard? Do you not want to have sex with me?...do I look fat or not turn you on?" You: ::like a desperate man, a mans who's given up and without a word you proceed towards the nearest window and jump out of it...only to land naked into the rose bushes....if only you were four stories higher:: Edited November 28, 2012 by Ninjainpajamas 10
Mint Sauce Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 ^^^ brilliant! And unfortunately recognizable...
reallyhotguy Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 You're not asking just for a guy with a high sex drive, let's make that one clear. Your average guy is going to say "Hey, I like sex, I mean I masturbate at least x times a day/week -- that's me! Are you seriously having trouble finding a guy who likes sex?" But they're imagining sex fantasy, with a new woman and plenty of novel stimulation. What you're talking about is a sustained, consistently high sex life over the life of a long term relationship. There's no magic bullet there. It requires good work and good luck just like everything else good in life. 1
dasein Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Well let's be fair, some women don't know how to get a cock hard and just want you to walk around maintaining it...especially in this type of scenario; ::wrestling around fully clothed, getting hot and bothered...erection in full patriotic flag over Iwo Jima force, could stand against 100 mph Hurricane Sandy winds without wavering, slamming against the back door of your jean zipper...like let me the f out!::... So true, ladies, it's not a light switch that can be flipped on and off. One very common one of mine is: foreplay? check, her arousal, moaning, panting and wetness? check, me ready? check. Then when it's time to put it in, she suddenly clinches her muscles to a point you couldn't get a pencil in there. "You Ok?" as I feel the willy wilting. Her reply, "Did we lock the front door?" or something equally inane and ridiculous. Then a little later, "aww it's ok, happens to all men from time to time," Times like that are when I have been tempted closest to mild violence against a woman. Just a real solid head thump with a ring or a knuckle punch in the arm. Swear I'm going to do it one day too
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