Embracingthevoid Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 So I left for thanksgiving vacation this past week without my girlfriend. Everything seemed to be great when I left. My girlfriend had been pickin out rings and we had been Planning an engagement trip. While I was gone we had a small argument about her Sexual desire not being as High as it was when we initially started dating 5 years ago. When I arrived home from vacation she broke up with me claiming that I brought up a topic that made her think. She claims she has felt like she has fallen out of love for awhile but she stayed with me because she wanted to get married and have kids and she didn't want to start all over. She said it had nothing to do with anyone else. I begged her to reconsider but to no avail. The next day she admitted to me she had a "crush" on someone but the crush had nothing to do with us. She claimed there was no hope for us in the future. A similar thing happened a year ago in which she met someone else and left me for them. She claimed it had nothing to do with us but when it didn't work she came back to mE a month later. She claims this is a different situation. I havent seen any signs of her falling out of love and was. Blindsided by this. She is "hanging out" with her new crush now but not dating him. She move on to him as soon as we split up. This situation is killing me I have blocked her from callin or texting my cellphone to preven me trying to contact her. I am totally lost and don't know what to expect. Should I expect her to try and come back to me or is not talking to her going to cause her to move on. I made this girl my life and now she is gone I want her back badly even after the way she has treated me. Any thoughts on this situation? Or some encouraging words.
movingon12 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Ouch. It could just be a case of pre-wedding jitters which will pass, or else fundamentally this isn't working for her. But you seriously should not be even considering getting engaged to someone who broke up with you as little as a year ago. If she's saying she only stayed with you because she doesn't want to start again, and has now decided actually she would rather start again than marry you, then there's not much anyone can say but 'sorry' and 'at least you found out sooner rather than later'. I think it's time to move on.
na49 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Blocking her number is a very good idea. I plan on doing the same with my ex very soon. I wish I had a magic spell that could make the pain go away but time is really the only thing that can heal you and the rest of us. I'm in a similar situation where a small part of me wants my ex back after the way she's treated me but that part gets smaller and smaller each day. Try accepting the fact that she isn't coming back and that the chapter of her in your life is over. Don't wait for her, and obviously stay NC no matter what happens. Nothing she tells you and nothing you find out about her through facebook stalking will make you feel any better. (that she doesn't miss you, that she has a new boyfriend and is loving life without you, etc.) Out of sight, out of mind. At least that's how I am going about it.
Mcnulty Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 This is twice she's kicked you in the nuts. You got whacked round the head for another guy, but you took her back, so yep, she thinks she can dip her toes in the water again..with you there waiting for another bop round the head! Read it for what it is, she's playing her game and she expects you to buy into it...dont.
KatZee Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I made this girl my life and now she is gone I want her back badly even after the way she has treated me. Any thoughts on this situation? Or some encouraging words. This was your mistake. You made a girl, who has left you before for someone else, your world. You made her a priority, she treated you like a joke. I think she's had her eye open for something else for a while and you just haven't seen it. When the new guy didn't pan out, she ran right back to you the back up plan. Sitting patiently on the backburner waiting for her to return. This is the SECOND time she's pulling this with you. Don't be fooled by that line she's saying about how this guy has "nothing to do with us." It most certainly does. Second time she's had her eyes open to move on from you. Bullet dodged. This is not the way to start off a marriage, no matter how much you love her. Encouraging words? The best is yet to come.
geegirl Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 This is a pattern for her. You can choose to take her back when her fling goes to hell or you can accept your reality that this woman will never be able to give you a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Thank your lucky stars you're not married to her. But if you do, I wouldn't be surprised if infidelity plays a part in your marriage.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Wow...your situation is so much similar to mine. My ex told me she wanted space about a year ago. I come to find out that there was another guy. Apparently she realized that it would not work with the other guy so a month later she came back. Fast forward a year and she found another guy and left me again. This is after we have been together for almost 9 years and engaged. The first time I was begging her, pleading her...anything I can do to get her back. This time around...I was done. It's like they say...first time shame on you...second time shame on me. Its time to move on. Its been close to 2 months post BU and I feel fine. Just initiate NC and move on with your life. She doesn't deserve you and you will find someone who will be right for you.
Author Embracingthevoid Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 Could this be an instance of grass is greener syndrome. And she just didn't get it out of her system the first time because I didn't leave her alone and took her back to quickly?
movingon12 Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Could this be an instance of grass is greener syndrome. And she just didn't get it out of her system the first time because I didn't leave her alone and took her back to quickly? In a word: 'no'. The pinned GIGS post is a really useful explanation of GIGS, but this doesn't sound like GIGS, it just sounds like what you 2 have is not enough for her.
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