OnTheRoadToSomewhere Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Hey all. New to the site, looking for advice/help. I've had a bit of an epiphany after my wife told me she wants a divorce. We have been seperated for a week. I am completely shocked and heartbroken but the way i initially responded now has me looking deep inside my own self. "oh YOU want a divorce?" is what i said to her... My wife and i married over 3 years ago after dating and living together for 2. We were very much in love through the beginning. We moved extremely fast into the relationship, which i don't really have a problem with. She moved from a distance to be with me about a year into it, and it didn't take long for us to learn about the life grind together. She couldn't find work and the economic issues hit me like a freight train. We both fell into a pretty deep depression..........apart. It seemed as if we were living seperate miserable lives under the same roof for the most part, although to this day we are always able to make one another smile or laugh in a heartbeat. As i was struggling to keep us afloat, my wife started self medicating. Pills and cheap wine. I would come home from a long exhausting day to find her passed out. , i couldn't even wake her passed out. Medical issue after medical issue came out of nowhere, and i was 100% convinced it was due to the self medication. Like I had no idea how to deal with it and basically shut down entirely. Emotionally i checked out. Months and months of this. We lost our home, had to move in with the folks to get on our feet, which was a struggle in itself. It didn't take long for her to totally meltdown. She put herself into rehab and things were actually looking promising for us as she cleared her mind and started to feel better. She told me that she wanted me to go to counseling with her and at the time i wasn't able to go but a couple of times. As i am looking back i should have made this effort......She has slowly creeped back into depression. Sorry for the long post, this is a busted up breakdown of some chaos that in no way describes a relationship. As you can see i need to talk about it. I could write a book on the 5 + years i've spent with my wife, it's been a wild ride. I love her dearly, we have a ton of fun being together when we allow it. But i've come to the realazation that i'm severely depressed NOT because of her. I have hid behind all of her problems. I have NOT helped her probably WAY more than i have. I have an appt with a counseler to talk about myself and my emotions. I have oredered a bunch of books to read. What am i doing? We genuinely love each other very much, but individually we are so #ucked up it's impossible to have a healthy reationship. Right? I want to be with my wife more than ever, i want her back. How do i get back to being the strong, confident man she married? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts