NewUser222 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 So me and my ex broke up 4 almost 5 months ago now and she is still in my head everyday. We were together for 5 and a half years and I have not been able to get any sort of closure from her. I have made all of the mistakes I read about on here like texting her and emailing her but she has not responded a single time. I just find it so hard to grasp how you can be with someone that long and then just go cold turkey without contact or answer as to why she did what she did. I have been going to therapy and it is not really helping. I have tried several times to go NC with her but then I will make it a week or two until I breakdown and just send her a nice message in hopes that she would maybe one time respond to me. I still love her with all of my heart and I just wish I could get over this hump but I guess I am still holding onto some hope that one day she will come back. I guess I just needed to write this and vent a little bit because it really does help to read through these forums and know that I am not the only person going through something like this. It is really tough going through the first holiday season without her and I am just looking for some support from you guys. I thought for sure my feelings for her would die down a little bit by now but it feels like no matter what I do she is always in the back of my brain and it feels like it is slowly breaking me down.
movingon12 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 It will get better, but every time you contact her, and she doesn't reply, it's like she's rejecting you all over again and you're starting at the begining again. You've got to stop yourself doing that, in whatever way you can. Write down what you want to say and post it here, write it on a piece of paper and burn it. Do something with it but don't send it to her. It's the only way.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 You really need to focus on breaking contacting with her. I know its hard but its the only way to heal. I definitely know what you are going through. My ex fiancee and I have been together for almost 9 years when she broke it off with me. Its been close to 2 months now and its getting ALOT better for me. I still get sad but I dont think of her as much. The key is to break contact with her and maintain no contact. The first month SUCKS! I'm not going to lie but it does get a whole lot better as time goes by. Do not respond and do not reach out to her. For me...I do well until she sends me a text about something. Then its like starting back to square one. I dont respond though. You just have to try to be strong. The more you contact her the more you will go back to square one. Its only been close to two months post BU and im feeling stronger and better. Focus your time on keeping busy. Go out, work on yourself...do anything you can to keep yourself busy. Good luck and stay strong.
Neith Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 (edited) You really need to focus on breaking contacting with her. I know its hard but its the only way to heal. I definitely know what you are going through. My ex fiancee and I have been together for almost 9 years when she broke it off with me. Its been close to 2 months now and its getting ALOT better for me. I still get sad but I dont think of her as much. The key is to break contact with her and maintain no contact. The first month SUCKS! I'm not going to lie but it does get a whole lot better as time goes by. Do not respond and do not reach out to her. For me...I do well until she sends me a text about something. Then its like starting back to square one. I dont respond though. You just have to try to be strong. The more you contact her the more you will go back to square one. Its only been close to two months post BU and im feeling stronger and better. Focus your time on keeping busy. Go out, work on yourself...do anything you can to keep yourself busy. Good luck and stay strong. This poster has it correct. You need to go into STRICT no contact. Contact doesn't necessarily mean you two have to converse for it to matter. It means one sided messages as well. Like someone said, every time she doesn't reply, it's like she's breaking up with you all over again. The reason nothing is getting better is because you're not letting go. Sorry to be blunt, but she doesn't want you. She doesn't want to give you closure. There's NOTHING you can do. There comes a point where you have to just let go. If you made any mistakes in the relationship whatsoever, learn from them and take it with you to the next relationship you have. THAT'S your closure. Accepting responsibility for whatever part you played (big or small) in the relationship and its breakdown. That's the only true closure that exists in my opinion. I'm sorry you're hurting, but it will get better. NO MORE CONTACT! Edited November 28, 2012 by Neith
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