break up

[Craigc]

Hi all thanks for reading. Im 29 year old man and started dating a school teacher (23) who was friends with my friends wife (we met at their wedding). We were only dating for 4-5 months and we got on so well never argued or anything, spent reasonable time together as we were both busy or one of us were, but we were cool with that and we still saw each other 2-3 times a week. I understand some woman like tokens or land stones in relationships, in her instance it was 9 weeks test and I will be officially your girlfriend. Anyway's we became a couple after that 9 weeks to her admission, and things were great, we went out for meals and I met all her teacher friends who she is quite close to and it was all well and good. We had some minor discussions like relationship teething stages like she would jump up and down to wake me up on a Saturday morning rather early after a hard weeks work, but we talked about that and she never did it again. Well we went out on a double date with a friend of mine and her flat mate, and that when we had an argument. There's a lot more to the story but it will take forever, but thi girl is everything I want in a woman and I was what she wanted in a man. A career woman, me with my own business and we got along. Perfect, right? Well it seemed it, but that night we went out we had a big fall out. She brought things up that I thought she shouldn't have while we were out, but as she's a teacher she is never wrong. She listens to all er teacher friends, but they don't know her relationship flaws. When I look at it all, there is more positive than not in our relationship. But we have broken up, well I broke up with her which was silly really as I swore at her for the first time as I wasn't happy with her bringing things up that she should be discussing when we are just together. I stayed at hers that night and the next day we went on as if nothing happened. But when I left, later in the day she decided that's the time to tell me she wasn't happy and I need to see the errors of my ways. I did see them and wish it never happened, but i think she's a little in experienced in relationships and when i brought what i learnt in mine to the table it always seemed that she knows best but she really didnt. I think thats because she's a teacher, I don't know? Anyway's, we argued on the phone that night and it was all about what i did and what i did wrong, she was far too sensitive to admit her own faults, we needed to discuss both our faults as I really believe the relationship was worth saving.

 

I went in to no contact and waited for her, bearing in mind I broke up with her as she had so much control at this point it seemed and it wasn't working out with discussion with her. I waited for her to contact me, and she did. We started acting like friends again and few days after planned a date to see a movie. We went and had a good time, she didn't mention anything about the break up and nor did I. We kept texting each other in nice ways, and she asked me over one night. I went over, and we had sex. We kissed and i left as she said I cant stay over which i respected and left. That was the last time I saw her 3 weeks ago. But that same night, she asked me out on a date for the weekend which i gladly accepted. She didn't keep to the plan and decided on the Friday (we planned the Saturday) that she had plans with her friends on the Saturday. I was a gutted, but figured she may have forgot as she may have been super busy. She kept sending me pics and nice messages though, seeing how my night is and how am i etc. It was nice, i thought we were slowly getting back together. She knew i was sad i didn't get to see her as she planned with me, so she said lets go for breakfast on the Sunday. I agreed again as i wanted to see her. Sunday came, i get a text saying she's a little hungover and thinks we should cancel. Twice in one weekend! I left it at that, but saw on her facebook that she asked on a her staus wheres best to go for sunday lunch. Lol, thanks a lot! The next week I didn't contact her, i waited for her again. She started texting me on the Monday seeing how i was. I stated texting back but this next week she took 6-8 hours to reply, bearing in mind ild seen her on my iphone that she had been on. The replies got longer apart, got to the thursday i felt i was losing her. She called me on the Wednesday though, but her conversation was vague and she ended it with got to go now im tired, she seemed distant. I promised myself i would show my feelings to her, i didn't want to chase her i felt it was wrong, well i was brought up that way. But Friday came, we spoke on the phone but she didn't give me chance to talk to her about us it was just what we've been up to which she asked first. Well, on the Friday I gave in after that phone call and text her exactly how i feel about her. I got a reply within 20-30 mins, telling me she wasn't 100%, i had desirable things but she couldn't appreciate them right now, and that maybe in 2-3 years time she may want a relationship like it but right now she's got used to being alone and its easier that way. She also said she really cared for me and to stay in touch if she likes but understands if i don't, and i said all these things back but i got no reply back. I thought that was that, i came to the conclusion that the woman i love wants out and i will respect her decision. I started the next day the healing process, work was hard to do. But on the night, she rang me out the blue and I answered it which i sort of regret now. I thought it would be, i made a mistake i didn't mean that text last night. Instead i got a vague "are you alright and i asked her, then she started blabbing on about a dream she had the night she text, were me and her were going to mexico but i couldn't go for some reason and she took someone else. She came back and caught me in bed with another woman and she kicked her head in and let out a nervous giggle. I didn't know what to say, i was with my friends so i said can i call you back im with friends, she said no she's tired and siad bye.

 

This was 2 weeks ago, i tried ringing her back against her will to find out what it all meant as i thought i deserved an explanation, but she didn't answer and iv'e had no call back since. So i went into NC again. What do I do here? Do I keep NC or try texting or calling her? As she said she felt she couldn't put 100% into it and it wasn't fair on me, then that phone call? I really love her, i miss her and i want to see her. Is she playing games or is it a clue to chase her?

 

I know she has 2 male teacher friends who i know and got along with and they hang out now and again and they come to her for relationship talk on their part, well one of them has deleted me on facebook. I don't think they are dating though. Just all seemed a bit sudden she went cold and i noticed he had defriended me. But its that glimmer from the phone call thats shes left with me, its not fair on her part but im eager to know what the dream meant but then another part of me says let go. What should I do?

 

Sorry about any grammer mistakes im so busy i rushed, but thanks if you read and can help me male or female.

Edited November 28, 2012 by Craigc