Jippy Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 (edited) I am very new to the site, I have been reading the threads for a couple of days before putting up what I am going through. I have recently broken up with my bf of 4 years. We have a son together. We have had NC since Friday and last night he decides to call me (we livedtogether, and he's moved back to his mother). To tell me how he's not coping and that he's not eating, has not been to work etc... I am also experiencing the pain from the break up, and I haven’t eaten a decent meal in days - but I have to pull myself together to go to work, so that I can ensure that bills are paid and we have a roof over our heads. He tells me that I always want things my way. And that he has a way of being in this world that does not conform to what I consider normal, or socially acceptable. I told him that people who have their own sets of values that onlythey prescribe to are living in an alternative reality. He claims to love me, but he's been increasingly moody, mean, and downright cruel towards me. Yes, the old saying, doing it for the kids emotion is there.I would like our son to live with both his parents, as he is really good to ourson. He plays with him, tends to him when I can't and they have a very special bond. I have fallen out of love with him. He's got deep-seated rage issues that I cannot begin to explain. He's mad at the world for everything that happens to him. He takes things out of context all the time. He has an extremely quick temper, and snaps for things other people would normally just overlook. He saysI am critical of him because I can't see that he is trying. Now here's my reality. He under-supports his kids (he's got a son from aprevious relationship), because he needs to take care of his reasonably youngmother who hasn’t bothered to work. He pays for her mortgage, and livingexpenses, and has very little to contribute after all that's done. I am notokay with that. As a man, his family unit (woman and kids) should come firstwhen it comes to taking care of them. I earn a lot more than him, so I do cover 90% of what should be joint expenses, and I grew tired of that. He can do more,but his need to support his mother is greater than his need to step up to theplate and take care of us. He has a very violent nature, and before we met, he was frequently involved in fights. now 'since we're together, he has managed to curb his impulsivity and choose to rather walk away than to entertain a fight. But it seems like he resents me for not being able to fight with people over inconsequential things. I really love this man, and I even suggested we go for therapy and a couple and individually. He does not see anything wrong with how things are. He has fits of rage where he screams at me, and recently in public too. He sees nothing wrong with that. now I have read up on psychopathic behaviour and it seems he may fall into this category. I really don't know whether it’s just best to walk away. What makes me think I should give it a last chance, is that when he's good, he's really nice and loving and sweet, but when he's being mean, no super-villain has anything on him. unfortunately the two are packaged into the same person, and its either i stay or go. I'm just really confused. My one BFF (who knows us longest) says we should consider counselling for real,the other says RUN. My heart says maybe..... Edited November 28, 2012 by Jippy text didn't look right
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