Infusion Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Lately I have been having some questions about 'open relationships' that I might need some help trying to understand. If you have been going out with someone for some time (say, 1 year), and she tells you from time to time that she loves you. BUT she tells you that she wants a open relationship. Then.. what would the answers be to these questions? - does this have implications that perhaps they are not very sure if the love they feel for you is real? - they dont want to put in commitment (but why no commitement if she loves you???) - they want an open relationship because they want to 'shop around' for the right guy first? - perhaps she does not really love you, but they have enough interest in you to tell you that they do, just to keep you around? And lastly, I want to know what to look out for in pursing relationships with people who look for these 'open relationships' Thanks a lot
That_girl Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 I don't know all of the answers to your questions, but I can speak from my own experience. First of all...age can be a factor. If the girl is around 18-19, like myself, she may not even really know what she wants, so a committment wouldn't be appropriate at a time where a million changes and decisions are coming towards you all at once. Alot of women don't want to commit because they don't feel they should have to, unless it is a person they are planning on marrying. It's just that many of us want to keep our options open and be able to meet other people without feeling guilty. Personally, I think an open relationship isn't a very good idea unless both people are completely happy with it. If one person has doubts or feels jealous, it's never going to work.
faux Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 To me, an open relationship is just a more F-ed up version of the F- Friend arrangement. If someone loves me, she won't need to be with anyone else.
rubie Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Originally posted by faux To me, an open relationship is just a more F-ed up version of the F- Friend arrangement. If someone loves me, she won't need to be with anyone else. agreed
Mr Spock Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Originally posted by faux To me, an open relationship is just a more F-ed up version of the F- Friend arrangement. If someone loves me, she won't need to be with anyone else. Disagree.....I think couples need to do whatever floats their boat to stay active and happy in the relationship. If BOTH parties are cool with it. If you don't want an open relationship, don't have one.
Girlie Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 To me, an open relationship is simply someone saying they like you, but not enough to give up screwing around with other people. If both people feel that same way about each other, no harm done, I suppose. As for "I love you's", I guess if someone were telling me that they loved me while dating other people, I'd probably take that I love you with a grain of salt.
Bart_Weisser Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Originally posted by Girlie ... open relationship is simply someone saying they like you, but not enough to give up screwing around with other people. If both people feel that same way about each other, no harm done. I completely agree. Sounds like you want this to be more than just an "open" relationship. You should really put your foot down and tell her take it (you) or leave it (you). It's not fair in a long run for you, if you want to commit. BW.
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