ematee Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Long story short - After buying a plane ticket for him to come see me, my ex bailed and broke up with me on Thanksgiving. Said he needed his "time and space" because we've been fighting a lot. He kept giving me mixed signals like, "I just need my space so maybe you have a chance." and then "I don't want to be with you ever again." Clearly he doesn't know what he wants. A little bit of background, he's 28 and he lives in another state so this is all long distance. Anyway, yesterday I hit my breaking point, broke down, called him, and did the usual crying, "Please take me back." shpiel. He told me that I was going the wrong way about doing so and that he still needed his space and to focus on school and crap like that. So I sent him my "final" text about how I was going to leave him alone and he either wants to be with me or he makes a mistake and it's his loss. So today I get a text around 11 am saying this, "I can imagine the pain you are experiencing and it's not fair to you. :-/ sorry. Maybe I just need to figure myself out." My questions; What does this mean? To me, it kind of sounds like he's saying maybe he needs to figure himself out so we can be together and he wants to be with me. Do I respond? I haven't said anything to him since my "final" text (GO ME!) But not sure if I should respond with a short, "I understand." "K" or "Ok." Or if I should just ignore him and not respond at all. Of course I'm worried that if I do ignore him, he won't come back. But he told me repeatedly that he needs his space so I don't want to invade that like I did yesterday. Also, yes I want to be with him for the right reasons and I truly believe we are meant to be together. But any advice would be appreciated because I don't know what to do and it's literally killing me inside... Thanks.
Balzac Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 His acknowledgement text requires no response. He's been clear, he knows you are in pain. No response is my thought to you. Sorry you're in misery. It sux in all manners of love and loss. 1
Jono85 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Long story short - After buying a plane ticket for him to come see me, my ex bailed and broke up with me on Thanksgiving. Said he needed his "time and space" because we've been fighting a lot. He kept giving me mixed signals like, "I just need my space so maybe you have a chance." and then "I don't want to be with you ever again." Clearly he doesn't know what he wants. A little bit of background, he's 28 and he lives in another state so this is all long distance. Anyway, yesterday I hit my breaking point, broke down, called him, and did the usual crying, "Please take me back." shpiel. He told me that I was going the wrong way about doing so and that he still needed his space and to focus on school and crap like that. So I sent him my "final" text about how I was going to leave him alone and he either wants to be with me or he makes a mistake and it's his loss. So today I get a text around 11 am saying this, "I can imagine the pain you are experiencing and it's not fair to you. :-/ sorry. Maybe I just need to figure myself out." My questions; What does this mean? To me, it kind of sounds like he's saying maybe he needs to figure himself out so we can be together and he wants to be with me. Do I respond? I haven't said anything to him since my "final" text (GO ME!) But not sure if I should respond with a short, "I understand." "K" or "Ok." Or if I should just ignore him and not respond at all. Of course I'm worried that if I do ignore him, he won't come back. But he told me repeatedly that he needs his space so I don't want to invade that like I did yesterday. Also, yes I want to be with him for the right reasons and I truly believe we are meant to be together. But any advice would be appreciated because I don't know what to do and it's literally killing me inside... Thanks. u likely won't follow this advice, so i'll be concise... the only chance in hell u have to re-attract him, is to give him that space he's asking for, and show him u DO NOT NEED HIM. that means don't be initiating ANY contact from now on. he's essentially asking that you don't. you've already begged, u get ur free pass, everyone does once after a breakup. but now it's time to show him u tried, and back up what u texted him and make it his loss. DISAPPEAR. i'm not saying he'll come back b/c of this. but he for sure won't if u keep pestering him, believe me. if he doesn't get back to u, then really is this guy u want to keep trying with?? as a guy, i KNOW that no guy would let a girl they really care for and love walk out of their lives. they just wouldn't. if that is what he is willing to do, then so be it, he's not the one for u.
Author ematee Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 u likely won't follow this advice, so i'll be concise... the only chance in hell u have to re-attract him, is to give him that space he's asking for, and show him u DO NOT NEED HIM. that means don't be initiating ANY contact from now on. he's essentially asking that you don't. you've already begged, u get ur free pass, everyone does once after a breakup. but now it's time to show him u tried, and back up what u texted him and make it his loss. DISAPPEAR. i'm not saying he'll come back b/c of this. but he for sure won't if u keep pestering him, believe me. if he doesn't get back to u, then really is this guy u want to keep trying with?? as a guy, i KNOW that no guy would let a girl they really care for and love walk out of their lives. they just wouldn't. if that is what he is willing to do, then so be it, he's not the one for u. I understand that. But please don't assume that just because I'm a girl deeply in love, I won't follow advice. Because trust me, I will. I understand that continuing to bother him will only push him away. He said that so I got the point. My question was simply wondering what his text meant and if there was any hope from it and if I should respond or just let it be. I am always one to beg and beg and beg in relationships and ruin them. I refuse to ruin this one. I love him more than words can describe.
Jono85 Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I understand that. But please don't assume that just because I'm a girl deeply in love, I won't follow advice. Because trust me, I will. I understand that continuing to bother him will only push him away. He said that so I got the point. My question was simply wondering what his text meant and if there was any hope from it and if I should respond or just let it be. I am always one to beg and beg and beg in relationships and ruin them. I refuse to ruin this one. I love him more than words can describe. well i didn't assume b/c u were a girl deeply in love, i assumed just by the nature of ur post, and ur "I am always one to beg and beg and beg in relationships and ruin them" kind of backs that up. well it's good that you're gonna try a new approach this time! honestly, no one can tell u the outlook of what he said or is thinking. maybe not even him (he could just be really confused). that being said, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to conclude that what he's saying isn't good news or provide much hope. he knows he's hurting you by doing this. i'm sure he cares for you deeply, but feels this is what he needs to do. you don't need to respond to it, IMO. like the previous poster said, you've said all u needed to. he didn't ask u any questions. just disappear now. it's hard, but it's all u can do. in the future maybe vent on here instead of breaking down and texting/contacting him.
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