I really need my heart to heal...Soo quick recap: Got out of a 4 year relationship at

[lovehurts5]

Recap: Got out of a 4 year relationship April 29th, saw him at the end of May, he kissed his coworker in front of me, proceeded to tell me how she meant nothing and then in my insane upset state was stupid enough to go home and sleep with him. After that night he saw me at a bar told me I looked pretty then walked away. He texted me a couple days later asking if I had ever cheated on him, I said no (complete truth). Then didn't hear from him till the end of June but I didn't answer because he completely hurt me (emotionally), he had texted his friend (my friends husband) saying how he only wanted to be broken up for a month and how he was upset and just wanted to "teach me a lesson".

100 days NC (beginning of Sept.) he texts me and we made small talk. In October his friend passed away so I texted him my condolences. He texted me back that hooking up would make him feel better. I missed him and knew it was stupid but allowed him to come over, we hooked up and he was shaking and saying how nervous he was. He was only over for 30 minutes so hooking up was all it was. When he left I was surprisingly not upset. I felt like it was something I needed for closure. Then on FB the day after I saw that he had taken that same girl from summer to South Carolina to visit his old college friends only a few days before coming over to hook up with me. That made me upset.

Recent: One month passed (November 8th), he texted me that he can't stop thinking about my butt and how nice it is and weird stuff like that. I texted back... Then twice this passed week he texted me again about how I should come over and how we should hook up. I just got a breast augmentation a week ago and so i'm in recovery and told him about it, otherwise, I probably would have gone over. He told me in 2 weeks when I am doing better how I should come over and we should hook up.

Today: The dreaded FB... I saw a picture of the 2 of them in matching attire at a wedding. This picture was posted on Saturday... the same day he last texted me.

 

It is completely crazy to me that 7 months after being with someone that I completely trusted for 4 years of my life, I still feel a sense of hope. I know I need to stop. He is not the person I fell inlove with. He is a complete stranger. I am so mind boggled that he could feel comfortable going behind this girls back to say the things he has been saying to me and it makes me wonder if he did this while in our relationship. Seeing this picture just opened my eyes like wow... 7 months he has been talking to this girl (at least that I know of) and how could he just completely push away what we had?

 

In 2 weeks I will not be texting him when I feel better... and if he texts me, I will be telling him that I do not feel comfortable talking to him while he is dating the girl from the summer. It is completely unfair to my head and my heart. I know i'm stupid for giving into him, for letting him have what he wants, and for having any bit of hope for a future back with him. I now know that I need to stop...

[bluefairy812]

Recap: Got out of a 4 year relationship April 29th, saw him at the end of May, he kissed his coworker in front of me, proceeded to tell me how she meant nothing and then in my insane upset state was stupid enough to go home and sleep with him. After that night he saw me at a bar told me I looked pretty then walked away. He texted me a couple days later asking if I had ever cheated on him, I said no (complete truth). Then didn't hear from him till the end of June but I didn't answer because he completely hurt me (emotionally), he had texted his friend (my friends husband) saying how he only wanted to be broken up for a month and how he was upset and just wanted to "teach me a lesson".

100 days NC (beginning of Sept.) he texts me and we made small talk. In October his friend passed away so I texted him my condolences. He texted me back that hooking up would make him feel better. I missed him and knew it was stupid but allowed him to come over, we hooked up and he was shaking and saying how nervous he was. He was only over for 30 minutes so hooking up was all it was. When he left I was surprisingly not upset. I felt like it was something I needed for closure. Then on FB the day after I saw that he had taken that same girl from summer to South Carolina to visit his old college friends only a few days before coming over to hook up with me. That made me upset.

Recent: One month passed (November 8th), he texted me that he can't stop thinking about my butt and how nice it is and weird stuff like that. I texted back... Then twice this passed week he texted me again about how I should come over and how we should hook up. I just got a breast augmentation a week ago and so i'm in recovery and told him about it, otherwise, I probably would have gone over. He told me in 2 weeks when I am doing better how I should come over and we should hook up.

Today: The dreaded FB... I saw a picture of the 2 of them in matching attire at a wedding. This picture was posted on Saturday... the same day he last texted me.

 

It is completely crazy to me that 7 months after being with someone that I completely trusted for 4 years of my life, I still feel a sense of hope. I know I need to stop. He is not the person I fell inlove with. He is a complete stranger. I am so mind boggled that he could feel comfortable going behind this girls back to say the things he has been saying to me and it makes me wonder if he did this while in our relationship. Seeing this picture just opened my eyes like wow... 7 months he has been talking to this girl (at least that I know of) and how could he just completely push away what we had?

 

In 2 weeks I will not be texting him when I feel better... and if he texts me, I will be telling him that I do not feel comfortable talking to him while he is dating the girl from the summer. It is completely unfair to my head and my heart. I know i'm stupid for giving into him, for letting him have what he wants, and for having any bit of hope for a future back with him. I now know that I need to stop...

 

 

oh my dear lord. i was with my ex for 4 years. been broken up for almost 5 months. i know where ur coming from ofcourse 4 years doesnt add up to the breakup time, but he's obviously making it clear he is only after you for hooking up he wants the best of both worlds. having you there on the side and the other girls whenever he wants.

 

listen, read my past posts, my dumb ex did something similar, he is seeing a new girl, having sex, partying yet somehow found the time to say he missed me and having sex with me. WE ARE NOT JUST SOME USELESS TOY FOR THEM TO COME TO WHEN THEY ARE BORED.

 

BLOCK his # immediately. you need to move on! it's not fair that you have hope (i do as well but i am working on it).

 

hang in there, be strong, and seriously implement NC on him.

[LostOne1]

oh my dear lord. i was with my ex for 4 years. been broken up for almost 5 months. i know where ur coming from ofcourse 4 years doesnt add up to the breakup time, but he's obviously making it clear he is only after you for hooking up he wants the best of both worlds. having you there on the side and the other girls whenever he wants.

 

listen, read my past posts, my dumb ex did something similar, he is seeing a new girl, having sex, partying yet somehow found the time to say he missed me and having sex with me. WE ARE NOT JUST SOME USELESS TOY FOR THEM TO COME TO WHEN THEY ARE BORED.

 

BLOCK his # immediately. you need to move on! it's not fair that you have hope (i do as well but i am working on it).

 

hang in there, be strong, and seriously implement NC on him.

I agree with you.

 

If a guy is doing what he is... then he isn't worth anyones time. And as said.. block FB, phone etc.. and realize it's time to move on now. This person is scum to do what he is doing.

 

If he had a heart, no way he would go after another girl and all. REAL MEN even through a BU do not date.. they try to move on, but they love the person a lot and still mourn. They don't turn around and go after another girl right after a BU. I think the same goes for women too. If you actually care about someone and love them enough... you don't just go after someone else right away.

[lovehurts5]

I know... I need to respect myself more and put this to a stop. He is using me like a toy and it's just completely unfair. The person he used to be would have never treated a girl like this. He has turned into a pig. I appreciate your responses. It's so sad how people can change and for the worst.

 

I would have thought at 7 months later it would be easier. Which it is but it's not at the same time. I wish I could just turn off this caring switch off in my head.

[Jippy]

That is very heartbreaking. He's very inconsiderate of your feelings. You need to stop this for yourself. No good can ever come from this. He doesn't seem to be sad about missing you, and is having the time of his life having the best time in his life at your expense. You deserve to be happy.

 

Asking you if you ever cheated in the relatioship is an age-old confirmation that he cheated, and he's looking for a way to make his indiscretino okay in his head.

 

I hope you feel better.

[lovehurts5]

So last night I did something really hard for me but it needed to be done. My ex texted me 1 week ago saying I'll give you $5 for a bj... just kidding. I didn't answer. Then yesterday he asked me if I had school I was very short with him said no. He said how's recovery (from breast augmentation mentioned above) and I said great they are looking really nice. And he goes good for you. Come over and show them to me before I start my homework. and I finally stood up for myself. I said you cannot speak to me this way especially when you have a girlfriend, He messaged me back about 15 minutes later and just said K. And that was it. He has become such a pig. Idk how he can live with himself.