hinatticus Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I see a bunch of new users so I doubt you know my situation. Basically, 4.5 year relationship, 2 year old child, lived together for 4 years, engaged for a few months, she left because of my anger issues, and it's been just over 9 months post break up. I've been in counseling for about 7-8 months now and my anger is totally under control. I've been doing hard core reading on self-help/finding happiness for several months. I just want to be genuinely happy. So here's my question. We see each other about 2-3 times a week(share custody), and I'm wondering how I should behave around her. Should i be happy and not care what she thinks, or should i try and be indifferent(no emotion). I seriously just want to be happy, but she's told me she thinks I'm just trying to get her back by being all cheery. She still has crazy resentment even though we are very amicable. She's got counseling lined up which is good. Our situation is so weird, my counselor can't even figure it out. We do so many things together, but as of late I've put some more distance between us. I don't want to bring up any relationship talk until she's done some counseling. It's very hard to talk to her sometimes because she thinks im judging her. Anyway, what would you do? Be happy and not care or show indifference? Thanks
CptSaveAho Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 The relationship is over... It doesnt matter what she thinks or how she feels Be yourself and if she doesnt like that she can go f herself (It really is this simple) 1
Author hinatticus Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 (edited) I totally hear you on that. But is there a point where one doesn't say "f*ck her"? I mean, I totally screwed up and I still carry a wack load of shame and guilt. Any other relationship where I didn't take a look at myself and took responsibility, I would've said f*ck her. Trust me man, having a kid and actually looking at my mistakes for a change, totally screws with you. Usually for me it's nc and move the f*ck on. I simply can't bring myself to that in this situation, for obvious reasons(my son). Anyway, I'm just gonna be as happy as I can with no regards to what she thinks. My problem is this crappy thing called shame. Never really experienced this emotion before. Sometimes I feel I don't deserve to be happy for what I put her through. One more thing. You say be yourself, at this point I don't really know what myself is. That's the problem. My old self would be mr angry pants. My new self wants to be happy. I guess that's for me to figure out. Edited November 28, 2012 by hinatticus
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