how is everyone doing?

[bluefairy812]

hi loveshack,

 

hope everyone is doing a lot better today than yesterday...and the day before.. and so on, and so forth

 

just wanted to say hello. it's been a while since i have been here. i am going on month #5 of being broken up with the ex. and while i am definitely a lot better than i was a month or so ago, i still cry and grieve. i still dream of my ex. i still long for him crazy, this past thanksgiving was my first without him. and those thoughts that you come across in your mind wondering if the ex is also thinking of you come to mind. he's seeing someone else and i haven't looked at his FaceBook in months and Instagram in a couple of weeks. i rather keep it that way and advise everyone to do the same.

 

NC has been going on for 29 days. last conversation was the worst. i ended up blocking his # (i HIGHLY recommend for everyone to do this and keep it that way!). he told me he was confused, missed me, and said the thought of me with someone else made him want to break something... but then said verbatim: "i'm not trying to get back with you." that's when a lighbulb lit up in my brain. no more BS.... i'm actually in the anger stage in the 5 stages of grief. i haven't accepted it yet (it meaning, him not coming back forever. i still am hoping he will) and i can't wait for that day to come where i can let go of this weight on my heart. but my message here is to hang in there people.... our hearts are broken, but there are worst things in the world like death.

 

hope everyone continues on their path to recovery<3

Edited November 27, 2012 by bluefairy812

[na49]

Better than I was a month ago. The breakup was almost two months ago, I'm in week 4 of NC. She texted me "hey" a few days ago but I didn't respond. Haven't heard anything from her since then. I really want to block her number, she keeps her exes around as crutches who she can go to when no one else will pay attention to her but otherwise she ignores them and treats them like garbage. I won't let her do that to me though because I have more respect for myself than that.

 

First time having my heart broken and it's more difficult then I thought, but I'm improving and I hope everyone else is too.

[andymb79]

I'm doing great. 4 months since the breakup and 3 1/2 nc after a 4 year relationship. My ex has moved in with the guy she cheated on me with and I recently learned she is pregnant.

 

Since the b/u, I've picked up the pieces and I'm currently seeing someone new. I'm happy and realized everything happens for a reason. Hang in there everybody.

[Jay08]

I'm doing great. 4 months since the breakup and 3 1/2 nc after a 4 year relationship. My ex has moved in with the guy she cheated on me with and I recently learned she is pregnant.

 

Since the b/u, I've picked up the pieces and I'm currently seeing someone new. I'm happy and realized everything happens for a reason. Hang in there everybody.

 

Better him than you man.

 

One of the best things that helped me is knowing all the stupid times we didnt use protection. The chances i could have gotten this lying cheater prego and been stuck with her for good. And now i laugh, because she is very sexually promiscuous and i know shes banging alot of dudes. Shes going to end up prego with some guy who doesnt care about her at this rate, and im gonna thank god it wasnt me.

 

Im only 8 days NC, but feel better. My urge for wanting her to text me is gone. I miss her, but i dont need her. A part of me wants her to so i can give her the middle finger and reply by deleting the text, the other part doesnt because knowing she doesnt care is actually helping me heal.

[bluefairy812]

I'm doing great. 4 months since the breakup and 3 1/2 nc after a 4 year relationship. My ex has moved in with the guy she cheated on me with and I recently learned she is pregnant.

 

Since the b/u, I've picked up the pieces and I'm currently seeing someone new. I'm happy and realized everything happens for a reason. Hang in there everybody.

 

thats crazy! i was with my for 4 years as well. i wouldn't be surprised if he was living with the new girl who is younger than me. he didn't cheat that i know of, but exes are like a box of chocolates! never know what your going to get!

 

but your right, everything happens for a reason, hope things get even better <3

[bluefairy812]

Better than I was a month ago. The breakup was almost two months ago, I'm in week 4 of NC. She texted me "hey" a few days ago but I didn't respond. Haven't heard anything from her since then. I really want to block her number, she keeps her exes around as crutches who she can go to when no one else will pay attention to her but otherwise she ignores them and treats them like garbage. I won't let her do that to me though because I have more respect for myself than that.

 

First time having my heart broken and it's more difficult then I thought, but I'm improving and I hope everyone else is too.

 

ugh, breadcrumbs with their "hey" text messages. been there done that!

 

block her number. it's the best feeling ever to know your finally free. that's how i felt. and i doubt he has tried to contact me either. trust me, its a major mind f*ck when they text you. you are better off blocking her # for your sanity and heart.

 

my heart is broken also, not for the first time exactly, but he was my first adult love. we lived together, grew together, etc etc. the rest of my exes were puppy love, so in a way, it is my first time. i feel your pain. be strong. and block that #!!! it took me 3 months but i finally did it.

[LostOne1]

I haven't been good. I kinda have fallen back in the hole this week.

 

Had to attend a prayer for my grandma, who passed away this summer. When I was there it brought back all the painful memories of what I've gone through so far.

 

-grandma dies

- drop out of uni semester from stress and illness

- relatives come to visit while I am sick and bug me lots to take them out

- ex girlfriend leaves me

- school troubles happens

 

etc...

 

But all the bad luck started when I lost my grandma, so sadly I have associated her death as the start of my world coming down and crashing on me and slowly losing important people and things that are dear to my heart.

 

And so far I always am looking for something positive to happen. But nothing good has happened it's always something bad happening even when my intentions are good.

 

So yeah.. after my grandma's prayer my tears almost came out I held it inside as hard as I could all the pain and loss came back. I just asked god WHY me.. WHY all this now? Why take everything away from me at once and throw me away like this....

 

I've been trying to watch lots of tv and movies and school projects to get my mind off things. I'm hanging out with my best friend today to talk about this all and just vent out.

 

Just had a urge the last few days of texting my ex. But then I remember how she just left me.. how her last text was her saying I would stop texting her if I had any self respect. I know she hates me now, and I don't want to be that ex she had that always called her. I messed up by contacting her always before.. it won't do any good now or ever.

[LostOne1]

 

but your right, everything happens for a reason, hope things get even better <3

 

I saw a quote TUPAC made once upon a time and it was posted on FB today and I thought it was grand.

 

Sometimes when things are falling apart

 

They may actually be falling into place

 

This quote has really inspired me and given me a boost today.

 

I also heard someone tell me...

 

When life takes so much away from you.. it's because later on so much is waiting to be given back to you

 

I guess in other words if we lose something now and lots of it.. it only means down the road in life. We will be given something better or as equal to as much as we lost. I guess kinda like karma. Good and bad

[catluvr2]

Boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me just 3 weeks ago and surprisingly I'm handling it better than I expected to. I'm getting a little better each day. Of course I still dream of him =/

[bluefairy812]

I haven't been good. I kinda have fallen back in the hole this week.

 

Had to attend a prayer for my grandma, who passed away this summer. When I was there it brought back all the painful memories of what I've gone through so far.

 

-grandma dies

- drop out of uni semester from stress and illness

- relatives come to visit while I am sick and bug me lots to take them out

- ex girlfriend leaves me

- school troubles happens

 

etc...

 

But all the bad luck started when I lost my grandma, so sadly I have associated her death as the start of my world coming down and crashing on me and slowly losing important people and things that are dear to my heart.

 

And so far I always am looking for something positive to happen. But nothing good has happened it's always something bad happening even when my intentions are good.

 

So yeah.. after my grandma's prayer my tears almost came out I held it inside as hard as I could all the pain and loss came back. I just asked god WHY me.. WHY all this now? Why take everything away from me at once and throw me away like this....

 

I've been trying to watch lots of tv and movies and school projects to get my mind off things. I'm hanging out with my best friend today to talk about this all and just vent out.

 

Just had a urge the last few days of texting my ex. But then I remember how she just left me.. how her last text was her saying I would stop texting her if I had any self respect. I know she hates me now, and I don't want to be that ex she had that always called her. I messed up by contacting her always before.. it won't do any good now or ever.

 

 

i'm so sorry to hear about your grandma and all the troubles you have been dealing with. it's not easy at all!!!!! especially when things come crashing down one thing after another... i feel your pain. take it one day at a time. it's ok to grieve right now for your grandma, but everything else takes time to get over. little by little. you should try going to a comedy show for a few laughs, go grab some ice cream with a best friend, watch funny movies, anything to make sure you are not in a bad place. i lost both of my grandparents within 3 months of each other and went through a bad breakup years ago., so i understand where you are coming from.

 

something that helps me is to read - read some positive self help books, something that will make you feel better and bring some sunshine into your life.

 

sending you lots of positive vibes.

[bluefairy812]

Boyfriend of 2 and a half years broke up with me just 3 weeks ago and surprisingly I'm handling it better than I expected to. I'm getting a little better each day. Of course I still dream of him =/

 

ugh the dreams really mess with my head hate them!

 

glad to hear you are doing good though!! keep going, or like dory from finding nemo says, just keep swimming!!!

[LostOne1]

ugh the dreams really mess with my head hate them!

 

glad to hear you are doing good though!! keep going, or like dory from finding nemo says, just keep swimming!!!

dreams suck, because you wake up in the morning and feel the pain of loss and don't feel like getting out of bed

[na49]

dreams suck, because you wake up in the morning and feel the pain of loss and don't feel like getting out of bed

 

I just started having them a few days ago. I had like two of them last night.. The first one, woke up, fell back asleep and had another..

 

The annoying part is that in the dreams me and my ex are happy together. bleh make them stop!

[LostOne1]

i'm so sorry to hear about your grandma and all the troubles you have been dealing with. it's not easy at all!!!!! especially when things come crashing down one thing after another... i feel your pain. take it one day at a time. it's ok to grieve right now for your grandma, but everything else takes time to get over. little by little. you should try going to a comedy show for a few laughs, go grab some ice cream with a best friend, watch funny movies, anything to make sure you are not in a bad place. i lost both of my grandparents within 3 months of each other and went through a bad breakup years ago., so i understand where you are coming from.

 

something that helps me is to read - read some positive self help books, something that will make you feel better and bring some sunshine into your life.

 

sending you lots of positive vibes.

 

lol for a second I thought you wrote "go do some comedy" I was thinking how do I do that.. I'm not THAT funny..

 

I'm sorry of the loss of your grandparents. Its incredibly tough I think especially as kids we become really close with them. THen it;s tough to lose them and have to realize that it's part of life, 1 which we have no control over at all.

 

I'm spending time with a close friend of mines today. It will be good to talk and all.. he's always trying to get me into looking for someone else LOL.. but I just don't feel it right now. I think I kinda wanna re-build myself up before I start looking again.

 

The greiving process is going okay.. I think the hard part is nothing goes right for tmrw. I guess I am looking for positive signs, passing my classes or getting a new phone, or finding out I got a job I want etc.. but nothing goes right really. If I had something positive happen.. I think it would give me a boost.

 

But when you try to do something and something bad happens instead, then it becomes super hard. I mean since my grandma passes away NOTHING has gone well. And I'm used to having 1 bad thing happens and 1 good thing and a a few small bad things and 1 huge good thing.

 

I'm not used to having 6 bad things happen in a row and 0 good things. I think that makes it really tough... I just sit there thinking what is happening to me and my life and why and where do I go from here.

 

I guess I have so many questions and barley any answers. The best way I visualize it is if my block and my house has been bombed and every home has just bricks and ashes left. ANd I stand there thinking everything is gone.. or in pieces how do I go on now and start over with everything.

 

That's one thing that bothers me about my ex. She knew my grandma passed away, but didn't understand I was mourning. ANd when her grandpa passed away last yr I understood it was painful and she mourned a LONG time. But this time she was so bad or upset with me that she ONLY thought of her own feelings and not mines. And next thing we know the relationship is over and in a bad condition.

 

I guess next time I just need to find someone who UNDERSTAND me. That can look at me and by my actions, expressions etc.. know how I feel. I always felt misunderstood ALL the time. Almost like when you do something nice for someone, but something bad happens and it wasnt your intention to make it seem bad but that's how it ends up.

[LostOne1]

I just started having them a few days ago. I had like two of them last night.. The first one, woke up, fell back asleep and had another..

 

The annoying part is that in the dreams me and my ex are happy together. bleh make them stop!

mines used to be of me and my ex working it out and then once we work it out how things would be and the things I would fix and do differently...

 

too bad it;s too late for that now... WIsh I had taken advice from my sister when I had many chances to use that advice to become a better bf and person.