AKIRA Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 I was hoping you all could shed some light on the subject for me.... I have been with my guy for about 6 or 7 months...we've gotten quite close, things are good , except for... I don't feel like he's being honest with me totally. Nothing big, just the classic white lies here and there. For example, he was very late getting a hold of me one evening, he told me he was with a friend, and they were in hs car, ended up at his friend's place whom my guy didn't know, so my guy was stuck there. He called me at 2am frantic, saying he got into a fight with his friend because of it, etc, etc...who knows if it's true or not. His roommate has friends over and they all just hang out at their place kind of thing, well his roomie has female co -workers over but does it occur to my guy to call me, the girl he's with and invite me over, nope it doesn't I guess. I am close to his family but he distances me from his friends. I don't know why. I mean is he ashamed of me? Shouldn't be, his sis told me I was the prettiest girl he's ever dated by far. ugh, but who knows... This makes me develop a some what of an ice queen wall...like I don't act like I care as much as what I really do. It's hard for me to be affectionate to him, cause sometimes I wonder if he wants me at all. I don't want tp look like a gushy fool in the end. He's had issues over past g/f's and them cheating on him, the last one cheated with a friend of his (I think that was the story), I don't know if that's it or he is ashamed of me or something. Do men like to sometimes keep their girl serperate from their friends? Please help me out on this one...
Pocky Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Have you asked him why he never invites you over to hang out with his friends?
kellyp1 Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 I think we might be dating the same guy. LOL - but seriously same story, I've been dating mine 6 months. I get the idea that he doesn't want me around his friends until he is sure I won't leave him for one of them (deeper insecurities). I ended up not being able to handle it though. He told me I needed to be patient but the more activities his friends planned, the more we didn't see each other. I broke up with mine 2 days ago. It is hard right now but in the end, I guess it is the right decision. I think friends and family are so important to incorporate with anyone I am dating and he doesn't see it the same way. I think mine uses the girlfriend cheating with his friends as an excuse to not trust women. You just have to decide for yourself what is acceptable. If you decide to leave, make the decision and do it though. I tried to break up 2 weeks ago and he was like no give me another chance and then continued on with the same behavior still. Obviously, I have a few more things involved then that but that was a big part. Loving someone doesn't make them the right one for you. You have to define your own balance between being patient and being true to your own self. Good luck!
Barby Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 I am close to his family but he distances me from his friends. I don't know why. I mean is he ashamed of me? Shouldn't be, his sis told me I was the prettiest girl he's ever dated by far. ugh, but who knows... I think it probably has to do with insecurities as well. If you are indeed the "prettiest" girl he's ever dated then he might be afraid you'll leave him for his buddy or that they will try and steal you from him. Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable enough around you yet to open up and act the way he does when his friends are around. In my case my long time boyfriend doesn't want me hanging around a bunch of his male friends either (even though he'd always be there) but it's because he doesn't trust them not to hit on me. They are dogs period and he knows this and it's better that I not be exposed to that BUT he doesn't hang around them either. He talks with them in passing and since they are his room-mates he can't do much but be polite. There could be several reasons why he doesn't want you to hang around his buddies BUT I doubt it's because he's ashamed of you, if that was the case I don't think he would take you around his family either. The only one who can answer your question is him though.
blah Q Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 i've been the guy whos putting you in that position. From a guys stand point if he's been hurt in the past he doesn't want to get hurt again. I see it as his way of protecting himself. Say things turn out bad he would have to deal with answering his freinds questions about what happened and so on and so forth. It would be a constant reminder, personally i hated explaining my failed relationships to my friends i just want to forget and move on. So just look at it as his way of must making sure that doesn't happen with you. I'm sure you'll be there when he's ready.
Recommended Posts