Author mishy Posted December 1, 2012 Author Posted December 1, 2012 what an ABSOLUTE nightmare this past 6 weeks have been.
Leigh 87 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Mishy, This is going to be harsh. What you have been doing with this guy for 5 years is sick. You have a sick addiction, called "bothering with a guy who is a terrible person and treats me like crap" You need to break this addiction cold turky. If he texts, ignore. Do not start a thread about it even: simply IGNORE. If he shows up, tell him to leave. If he does not, say your leaving then, and go do some shopping or something..... Getting the police involved would be annoying for you, so it would be less effort to simply leave the apartment yourself if he shows up, or tell him to leave and shut the door in his face. I get that you need to vent! But you have had years to face the reality of this situation..... You finally need to let go of it all. You are giving a guy who does not care about you at all SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY. And yes, he has a girlfriend who he is not into ENOUGH to only want her; so, he basically has a girl he likes enough to hang around with a lot(which is more than he ever felt for you), but not enough to fully commit to. Sadly, he has not found a girl he is crazy enough about.. hence why he is asking you for sex. He probably likes her more than you, enough to take her to the movies and spend time and money on her. But no, he is not into her that much.... I feel sorry for this guy: he is a truly horrible person, and will likely never find a lovely, kind women, because well.. men that treat women with contempt generally are not very nice people in general. I feel sorry for him, but not or you just yet! You have the potential to walk away NOW and not look back! You are very sweet, educated, guys obviously find you sexually attractive enough...... He will never find true, lasting love by the sounds of it his heart is too cold and he is too defective; where as YOU have a lot of hope, if you cease the opportunities given to you in life!
Leigh 87 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Let me talk about men who treat some women like crap, when they treat others like a princess.... Some men are like that, mostly young and immature men though, who have only just gone through puberty: they treat hot girls like gods, and normal girls like crap... they fool around with the average girls they are not into, talk sweet to them to get into their pants, then ignore them or treat them like crap when the poor girls initiate contact after these guys are done with them. However, by adulthood, guys with class and integrity, and who are genuinely NICE PEOPLE: such men DO NOT treat women like crap. We all make mistakes and treat people we love badly at times, but on the whole, the nice guys out there do NOT treat women like total crap, IF the guy is a decent human being. Common decency is a lesson some parents teach their kids; most often, it sticks. Worthwhile men learn to politely decline offers from women they are not into, or if they want to have a casual thing with a girl they are not into enough for a relationship, they at least have the decency to tell it like it is. They would say something like "I am only looking for a casual fling right now" rather than say they are not into the girl though. Being dimplomatic, without having to treat women like crap, ignore their calls, and use them for sex when they know the girl is in love with them. A mature, kind hearted, and quality man would not continue to have sexual relations with a women who was clearly into him, when he was not very keen on her .................................. Part two.......................................... Those are genuinely nice people, those men I talk about above^^^^^ Where as men who treat women like crap, especially when they know full well the women is very much into them, do not normally go on to find quality, long lasting relationships, with wonderful women. You see, people who are cold hearted and not nice people, can only put on an act for so long! If they find a women who they are into, they can only pretend to be a nice person for so long. The women, if she is a quality, nice person, will eventually find out he is a jerk, and leave him. I seriously doubt the ability of such nasty people to be able to love at all, to be honest. I think they lack feeling and emotion. Although yes, some men have the ability to love, yet treat women they are not into like crap. They are simply not nice people, who are nice to women that are hot enough and women they love. Therefore, when a wonderfully lovely, nice, quality women walks along, she will want depth and kindness in a relationship; a man who is kind to her and others. Such jerks, like the man the OP wsted 5 years over, I doubt they attract quality women who want great depth in their relationships....... ...................................................... LESSON: this guy is not a nice person. Even if he finds a women he really likes, he will probably not have the ability to love her, because he lacks the ability to really love, due to being such a terrible person who is kind and unfeeling. Even if he has the ability to love: he also has the ability to treat women like crap. Therefore, the women he IS in love with is STILL with a monster, and you should feel sorry for her.
Leigh 87 Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 Just so it sinks in: Mishy, even if this guy DOES have the ability to truly love a women and be crazy about her, he still has the ability to be totally nasty to most other women.... The women who GET him to love them are UNLUCKY! Your LUCKY your not a girl he is into! Why on earth would you want to be with a guy who treats other people terribly? You have no reason to waste any more energy on this ...moron, unless you need to vent, in which case you should talk more about coping stratagies and ways to better yourself and positive things that will HELP you. You know, it is OKAY to occasionally vent about the situation, but only IF you go complete no contact and do not waste energy on this idiot. Only AFTER you move on and cut all contact, should look back and say " wow, that was really messed up, I need to talka bout it" Right now though, you need to move on and seriously minimize ANY energy to spend on this ..... thing. ......Please, no more talking about him, no more energy wasted on him, until you show you CAN resist him, and move on entirely. THEN look back and laugh at how weak you were, and how much stronger you have come out of this.......
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 It is very easy to block his number. Download an app for free (on any phone, on android Black list is good). If you just googled your phone make and "block number" you would find it. You can easily just call your mobile provider too. I just blocked my former FWB's number like that because he likes to play mind games. I have wasted THREE MONTHS on him and I feel disgusted by myself. I can't imagine five years. YET I suspect you won't block his number and find excuses not to. I also suspect you will disapear from LS soon, only to appear again months or years later with "He ended it!" like it has been your pattern so far. Yes, he is a jerk, a total tool, a disgusting human being. Well, guess what? There are many people like that in the world. None of us can change that. What you can change is not letting them into your life or kicking them out when you find out who they really are. He has shown you who he is a long time ago. Ever since that point, anything that happened is your responsibility and your fault. Look at my signature and ask yourself: why am I allowing this man to treat me like crap for FIVE YEARS? Remember, life is passing and precious. We are all getting older. You will never get those years back.
Sugarkane Posted December 4, 2012 Posted December 4, 2012 His girlfriend is getting no prize, she's getting a cheater and you know that!
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