Shaun-Dro Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 It's my younger sister. She always holds grudges on me whenever we get into a argument or something to that nature. She does this to no one else. I've seen her forgive our parents within an hour of a vicious fight. But with me, I would just disagree with her about something and she won't talk to me for a couple days, sometimes a week! This makes no sense at all. I know some of you are wondering if I did something bad to her before, but the answer is no. I'm always honest in what I do and feel. Most of you here who are familair with my reputation, and even those that don't care for me, do know that I never hold back on expressing myself, right or wrong, so I'd appreciate it if we can stick to the matter at hand. Back to my sister, I've always been the one to help her with problems when my mother was unable to. I've always been the one who's been called over to the house to give her money and advice when she couldn't get a job and have even bailed her out of trouble countless times throughout the years when our parents weren't around. No one else in the family does this for her. Our parents come close to this, and suffer some of her wrath, but I seem take the brunt of it all the time. I feel saddened by this issue and don't know what to do to correct it because at the moment she's ignoring me as always. And this time, she's pissed at me because when I came by I ate the last of the ice cream. It's pretty much like this: she runs to me wanting help and advice on stuff, but then she hates on me the hardest if she doesn't like what I say or we disagree on matters. Anyone else in the family who gives her problems, she just argues one time and then forgets the next day. With me, she'll be on that grudge crap. She's 20 and this has been going on since she was 12. I just need some serious insight on what it could be and what I can do.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 It's my younger sister. She always holds grudges on me whenever we get into a argument or something to that nature. She does this to no one else. I've seen her forgive our parents within an hour of a vicious fight. But with me, I would just disagree with her about something and she won't talk to me for a couple days, sometimes a week! This makes no sense at all. I know some of you are wondering if I did something bad to her before, but the answer is no. I'm always honest in what I do and feel. Most of you here who are familair with my reputation, and even those that don't care for me, do know that I never hold back on expressing myself, right or wrong, so I'd appreciate it if we can stick to the matter at hand. Back to my sister, I've always been the one to help her with problems when my mother was unable to. I've always been the one who's been called over to the house to give her money and advice when she couldn't get a job and have even bailed her out of trouble countless times throughout the years when our parents weren't around. No one else in the family does this for her. Our parents come close to this, and suffer some of her wrath, but I seem take the brunt of it all the time. I feel saddened by this issue and don't know what to do to correct it because at the moment she's ignoring me as always. And this time, she's pissed at me because when I came by I ate the last of the ice cream. It's pretty much like this: she runs to me wanting help and advice on stuff, but then she hates on me the hardest if she doesn't like what I say or we disagree on matters. Anyone else in the family who gives her problems, she just argues one time and then forgets the next day. With me, she'll be on that grudge crap. She's 20 and this has been going on since she was 12. I just need some serious insight on what it could be and what I can do. One or two genuine responses would be nice. I'm sure someone has had an experience similar to mine or a better understanding of it.
ThaWholigan Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 One or two genuine responses would be nice. I'm sure someone has had an experience similar to mine or a better understanding of it. I don't have a younger sister, I have about 3 younger brothers (an older sister whom I am close with despite not seeing her often, as well as another younger bro on the other side of the planet). I am on good terms with all of them and don't encounter these problems. However, consider that a young woman at that age can sometimes be impetuous and headstrong even when they don't need to be, so it comes with the territory. How you choose to deal with it is your prerogative, but bear in mind it probably doesn't affect whether she loves you or not as her brother. Anyway, this was the wrong subforum, there's a family subforum up north from here - that's where this post should be.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 I don't have a younger sister, I have about 3 younger brothers (an older sister whom I am close with despite not seeing her often, as well as another younger bro on the other side of the planet). I am on good terms with all of them and don't encounter these problems. However, consider that a young woman at that age can sometimes be impetuous and headstrong even when they don't need to be, so it comes with the territory. How you choose to deal with it is your prerogative, but bear in mind it probably doesn't affect whether she loves you or not as her brother. Anyway, this was the wrong subforum, there's a family subforum up north from here - that's where this post should be. Thanks for at least replying. I chose this forum because word goes that no one really interacts much in the other forums. Is there a way to move this topic over there because no one here is interested?
todreaminblue Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 I have younger sister, we have battled often, we clash, but she loves me and i love her we just dont back down, i dotn believe in holding a grudge and i am likely to forgive before she does...you have to accept your sister for who she is, flaws and all, you wont get on a like a house on fire all the time, maybe she holds you in high regard and her grudge is a form of disappointment...you just dont know why unless you ask her....why dont you have a talk with your sister, maybe spend some more time with her doing something you both like doing together...when is the last time you have taken your sister out to lunch and had a heart to heart? give it a go make one day about your sister and her relationship with you....and find something fun....that she adores and then hav ea chat....best wishes....deb
CptSaveAho Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Its because you allow it to bother you. She holds emotional power of you because she can. Grow some balls and tell her to shove it or ignore her and this behavior will stop. Shes just acting like a spoiled brat
dasein Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 She does it because she feels she can. She knows there will be repercussions if she treats the parents or others this way, and knows there are few repercussions with you. There is also likely an element of sibling rivalry in this, and she sounds spolied and bratty if this kind of acting out is frequent with her and she holds the family hostage with tantrums. In your shoes, I'd ignore her for a good long time, several months, and see if she grows out of the brattiness. This could take a long time of not engaging her at all, just walking off and going back silent when she starts up. Good luck.
Author Shaun-Dro Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 (edited) She does it because she feels she can. She knows there will be repercussions if she treats the parents or others this way, and knows there are few repercussions with you. There is also likely an element of sibling rivalry in this, and she sounds spolied and bratty if this kind of acting out is frequent with her and she holds the family hostage with tantrums. In your shoes, I'd ignore her for a good long time, several months, and see if she grows out of the brattiness. This could take a long time of not engaging her at all, just walking off and going back silent when she starts up. Good luck. Thanks a lot there, and to a few others above me. My other brother has said the same to me about her so I'm going to have to give her a taste of her own bitter medicine. I hate going underappreciated and she needs to learn that. Edited November 28, 2012 by Shaun-Dro extra word
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