NC with ex for 8 months then bump into each other. Should I take her back?

[patrickferry]

Hi everyone

 

Me and my ex were together on and off for 2 years. We had quite an explosive/childish relationship, but we both loved each other. Me 22 her 21.

 

We were both co-dependent - relying on the other to make us happy thus making the relationship quite a power struggle. It ended in March and we haven't spoken since the break. It ended quite badly, with me calling her things I shouldn't have.

 

We bumped into each other a few nights ago in a bar. I think we were both quite shocked to see each other! I sure was! I was at the bar with a new girl I have recently been courting, and older girl who's really nice and pretty. But also low maintenance.

 

We were kissing on the dancefloor then I look behind me and theres my ex and her friends with a really awkward look on their faces then they disappear. I stayed on the dance floor dancing for most of the night with my friend.

 

Towards the end of the night around 3am, I'm sitting on the sofa with my friend talking, then out of nowhere my ex sits next to me on the other side!

 

She said my name a few times - wasnt sure what to do... I didnt want to annoy my friend. But then I put out my hand as an offering of peace and shook my ex's hand. Then she says 'can i have a hug'. I said 'i'm very drunk!' then gave her a hug.

 

She asked how I was and we spoke for about 30 seconds, i didn't get time to ask her what she was up to cause....

 

My friend suddenly gets up - "I'm going home"

 

I jump up - my ex's friend is like "stay! stay!" but I quickly follow her out of the bar and leave without saying anything to my ex.

 

It was nice to see my ex again. The truth is I still love her deep inside and I know we aren't capable of having a 'normal relationship' together. Each time I get too close or she feels too happy - she has to push me away or dampen the feelings. Her Dad died in the tsunami when she was a young teenager so its very hard for her.

 

She hasn't contacted me since this happened. I was thinking of texting her saying 'it was night to see you lets do something soon'. Should I do this? I'm really not sure what she wants. Maybe she was just envious I was dancing and kissing another girl - or she still loves me.

 

 

Thanks for taking the time to read this, your advice is really appreciated.

 

Best

 

Pat

[Chico333]

I know it's easier said than done but I would say leave it be. Drama is exhausting and it sounds like that is what your relationship with her was. You are both young and have a whole life ahead of you. It was a run-in at the bar and old feelings came up once you saw each other, which is normal. If you really feel like the relationship was mature and stable while you were together then give it another chance. Otherwise, I would say to ignore the situation and move on with you life.