Kanga24 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 So, my SO and I got into an argument last night, a really bad one. In the beginning, I admit I called him a dick, then apologized, saying I was out of line. His behavior was ridiculous during this fight. I thought we surely we're gonna be ok at some point because we were calming down, but finally towards the end of the conversation, he called me a "straight up a bitch" not my behavior, but me. It was weird for me, I have felt so weird about it, since last night. Before that fight about a week ago, he said you aren't some mega bitch or bitch for that matter. I'm not sure what I should do? I feel really disrespected, and he did apologize, but it just feels so weird now.
PepperPotts Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Boyfriends learn how to push our buttons, and they also know how to flip our switches. I mean, for every compliment, there is an equal and opposite put down. Telling you you aren't even kind of a bitch makes you happy? Then telling you you *are* one will have the exact opposite effect. He was feeling trashed, so he trashed you. It wasn't mature, it *was* incredibly passive aggressive, but he probably didn't mean it. If he's apologized, you should try to move on. I say this not because an apology fixes everything but because an apology should be *allowed* to fix everything when he sincerely means it and *when he's letting you off the hook for doing the exact same thing.* You called him a dick. You don't really have a high road here to take. You are not somehow more entitled than he is to not be called names. In the future, keep it as civil as possible. Try to focus on the disagreement, and listen to each other. Calling each other names and trying to hurt each other is a bad, bad, bad idea. The weirdness you're feeling comes from the fact that you finished the fight less than a day ago and you haven't had time to really cool down. Take a deep breath and remember what he means to you and why you're with him. It's just a fresh wound-- that's all. It'll heal if you give it a little time and you work together to prevent further injuries. 1
veggirl Posted November 28, 2012 Posted November 28, 2012 Name-calling is fked up and inexcusable. I could forgive it ONCE, that's it. I don't call names and I don't expect to be called them. If it happened again, after I made myself clear that I found it totally disrespectful and wouldn't tolerate it, I would be done. There is no place for that s.hit in a healthy relationship. People who call names don't know how to "fight fair" and are immature. No thank you. and Will1988, if you "realized your mistakes" you would stop making them. The fact that you think it is okay to throw around names--bitch, ahole, dick, etc--in an argument is really unhealthy.... 2
blugirl Posted November 29, 2012 Posted November 29, 2012 Be careful cause once the respect towards each other is lost, the relationship stops what it should be and turns into an ugly, unhealthy matter. Respect is of an utmost importance to me. I would never ever call my partner like that and I demand the same from him. Name-calling is good for children, not for mature grown-ups. 2
justwhoiam Posted November 30, 2012 Posted November 30, 2012 When he acts as a jerk, sometimes I tell him, not always. At times I just keep it to myself because I am hurt and I cannot really talk. But I don't see the word "jerk" as calling him names. I'd never accept the disrespect coming from it. I know it would hurt me so deep it couldn't just go away as if nothing ever happened. The relationship would probably ruined, when you cross that line. But I guess for some people it's not a big deal they can call each other names all day long.
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