prapti Posted August 9, 2004 Posted August 9, 2004 Hi all! I am new to loveshack. I am right now clueless, I am happy with my life but I have one quick question. I went out with a boy for 3 consecutive weeks, in my head as a friend. I didn't have any feelings for him except he is a nice person. But after the 3rd week, we said to each other we like each other and kissed. Following weekend, we go out but everything was sort of different. Although he said he liked me a lot. After that whenever we see we were "flirting" for another say 3 weeks. But he never asked me out again. I suggested doing things, cause I genuinely care for him as a friend and person..and if things happened they happened right? Well he has rejected me politely always. So I asked: what's going on? He said, I think we should better be friends. I said OK after all....friendship is the basis of all! Now, the problem here is now I really like him, and I am not being a natural person with him. If I want to call him I don't, and I keep myself busy not to think of a possibility with him. He says I have qualities he looks for in a girl. But, how do I become closer to him, without scaring him away. I want to get to know him better. Right now I stop myself, to respect his decision, after all who wants to be clingy right? After the conversation we have gone out once, and talked over the phone once as friends. And we avoid the topic. Now, how can I tell if he still likes me? What should I do? Move on? Talk to him again? Flirt with him till he goes bananas? Make him jealous? I am sort of clueless...any cool suggestion from both girls and guys out there? I don't want to idealize him, but this situation is making me do so.... Thanks!
uriel Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I think you need to let this drop and move on to someone else. You can't be sure this guy was being honest when he said he liked you and kissed you. He might have been just interested in winning your sign of affection as an ego boost. If he really liked you romantically, he would probably have asked you out again. Of course, there may be other reasons he didn't, but none of them are very good for your hopes, either: he's interested in another girl (or is already seeing her), he thinks you'd want to get emotional and serious (and he's interested in just having a good time), he didn't feel chemistry when you kissed (although he thought he might, so he tried it). You can always ask him why he thinks you are better off friends, but he may either not give you the real answer or give you a real answer that hurts. Bottom line is: He knows you like him and would have continued to date him if he'd been willing. He's not -- so anything you do to try to change his mind will seem clingy. The only way to avoid that is to avoid him until your romantic hopes fall away enough that genuine friendship is possible again. -- uriel
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