I Broke it off but....

[NeverPlayaPlayer]

So, I suppose i wish to vent a bit and share for those who are interested. I am not going to write a whole lot but a synopsis....

 

So I am a 46 year old London "boy" who has been living in Spain for the last 10 years. She was a 34 year old Colombian girl who had been living in Spain half her life.

 

We met in April, I had just come out of a pointless shortish relationship that I probably shouldnt have entertained in the first place but hey..

 

So my ex pursues me and I tell her that I want to take things slow but she persists with very early stages of love and infatuation, I love you, youre so special etc...So eventually I let my guard down, open up my heart and start loving her back...

 

I have a good job and can stand on my own two feet...she has had a very troubled upbringing with next to no relationship with her mother and similar with her father..very sad

 

Six weeks into the relationship she asks to borrow some money as she isnt working much if at all, has debts, bla bla...i lend her some money, not the amount that she asked for but what i could give her...she promises to pay me back, that was at the end of May...

 

I and as the boyfriend and with the financial ability, pay for everything. Lunch and dinners out, her cosmetics, her english classes and books, perfumes...I cook if we are eating at mine and of course buy her flowers and other presents after all she is my princess...

 

Throughout the relationship all she could give me were very passionate words of love, which I accepted as what she could give me and to be honest I loved it...

 

She never cooked for me once, offered to maybe pick up something that may be needed or even bought me/us a cheap 3 euro bottle of wine....

 

We had issues not many but a couple and when we did she would stop talking to and not respond to my approaches, whether i was right or wrong...

 

Three weeks ago, I went out with a female friend of mine and didnt tell her. There was nothing in we just went out for a drink...The next morning my ex came over launched into a tirade of abuse in Spanish and left....I apologized to her face and also in a text but no answer...Two days later she texts me to say that she is no longer angry and wants to make up...two days later we meet up to sort things out and on the same day she tells me that she needs 250 euros...which that day i was unable to give her...she got angry and I also felt, was this the reason you wanted to make up with me and were in a hurry to do so....

 

Anyway two days later she asked me again to which i said, i still cant but next week no problem, she was still angry/annoyed....

 

The following day i invited her over for dinner, which i had gone out and bought especially and prepared that afternoon...she finally calls up at 10:00 that night to say that she was having a drink with her brother and i should come and meet up...ok...in the end that special meal was eaten at 1:00 in the morning, i thought that along with her anger for not getting the money showed a lack of respect. Also that night and not for the first time, i went to be affectionate to her, stroke her arm, leg and she told me to "leave me alone"....not in a horrible way but even so, i would never say that to her or deny her a kiss....she has done that before...anyway the night was ok, we slept together etc..

 

The next morning she got up to go to work and when she came back, she said she was gonna go home...i got pissed off as we hadnt really spent too much time together and i thought we would spend the day with eachother...

 

So with this, her annoyance from when she didnt get the money and the fact that those loving words and texts, were becoming few and far between and the way she handled issues, like the silent treatment I decided to end it. I felt she was not in love with me, showed me little respect and the only thing that she was able to give, her words of love, were drying up...Also if she couldnt look after herself, how could she ever look after me, if needed, or have children or be a home maker....i love cooking, i clean, i work...i do lots but i need a PARTNER...i would like a child but not as my partner....

 

I told her there and then and also told her that the money that I had lent her in May was a present and she didnt have to pay me back...well she lost it with me and abused me for 20 minutes in Spanish...I have never heard so many variations of the word "Puta"!!!! I tried to join in the conversation but not for the first time it was a diatribe....so i stood there smiling and then ushered her out the door....

 

One week later I sent her a text saying sorry, I am someone who doesnt really stay angry for long unless its something really bad, lifes too short...and that I wanted to repair things, the same as her text a few weeks before.....

 

Her answer was basically accepting my apology but its over, have a good life...I responded with "ok I agree"

 

So here I am, missing the girl I used call my princess even though i finished what i felt was such a one way relationship.....

 

So for all those curious, it also hurts when youre the one who finishes things with the person that you love....

Edited November 27, 2012 by NeverPlayaPlayer