Ex Gf keeps texting and I dont respond. Dont know if I want her back...

[theone11]

-Both in our early 30s

-dated for 6 months

-I broke up with her but I had not choice as she kept doing things that would piss me off/be disrespectful. She knew it was going to come. Its almost like she wanted me to BU with her. So even though I am the dumper I feel like the dumpee.

-Not sure but think there was someone else although she denied it.

-When I dumped her the last time she took it in stride not tears like the other times...like she was ok with it.

-Since the BU I have never contacted her once. Its been 8 weeks hardcore NC

-She has sent me probably 20 texts, mostly breadcrumbs but there was a couple really long ones saying she missed me and stuff and loves me. Wants me in her life blah blah. The last one was tonite saying I love you.

-I have not responded to anything because I think she feels guilty for treating me bad and just wants to reliever he guilt and give her a ego boost. Grass wasnt greener? Maybe Im wrong?

-I feel responding to her at this point is a no win situation. It would just go back to the same **** or she wouldnt even respond, or hear things I dont want to.

-But why keep contacting me? Why is she so persistant?

-Do I break NC at any point?

-How to play this if maybe I want her back?

[Chico333]

It is a hard situation. I am in the same predicament except my breakup is currently in the process. I am the one breakingup but it is so hard and you feel broken as well. If you have already given it a couple chances and broken things off before, I would say to leave it be. You don't want it to turn into a toxic relationship of on again off again habits. That's just exhausting. There are so many people out there and there will be someone who wants to give you the respect you deserve.

[VeronicaRoss]

You say she provoked you into breaking up with her, that she disrespected you continually. She wants you when she doesn't have you.

 

With all these texts after you've established NC she's still very much disrespecting your boundaries. Although it feels a lot nicer when she does it to hook you instead of when she's pushing you away I can so relate to this, it's so emotionally horrible to have someone like this play you.

 

Based on the little info here I really recommend you do a search on 'borderline personality disorder' because what she's doing sounds very much like that. Does she also put you on a pedestal (you're so amazing) before putting you down? That's another symptom.

 

If she has that disorder, this behavior will continue as long as you engage with her. Even if you were to get married.

 

Take care of yourself! Even if she doesn't have bpd, sounds like this person is a guarantee of drama instead of real love.

[Eddie Edirol]

When you dont answer her texts, she thinks you dont need her (or never needed her) which she cant stand. So she is trying to bait you with the breadcrumbs, and if you answer she feels better then ignores you. Dont fall for it. If she mad you break up with her so she can date someone else, it might not be going well, so she wants some emotional security, thinking you might want her.

 

You dont want this woman back, because she wont change. If she disrespected you it was for a reason, and whatever the reason is, you dont want that back. Unless you want a battle on your hands. Dont want her back just because youre lonely. Its much better to not waste time with her, and find someone new that will be level headed when it comes to relationships.

[chloe56]

Hi, its been awhile! You have broken up with her several times then? Hmmm, what more do you need to realize that perhaps this relationship was not a good fit?

 

By the way, what happened with the ex that brought you to LS? Did you ever contact her afterwards?