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Posted

There's this really cute and amazing girl who lives near my place, me and her started talking around 6 months back, we were off to an awesome start but I could always sense there was something she was hiding from me, around 15 days after we started talking she told me she was in a long distance "friendship" with a really good looking guy who she'd been talking for around 3 years. Anyways, believing they were only friends I continued to be in touch with her, though the red flags came up time and again she always told me that they were only friends but they did had an amazing connection. She'd never said yes to him even though he'd proposed to her 4 times :confused:...

 

We had our fights in between over the nature of their relation but she always convinced me there was nothing very serious between them, they'd met just 5-6 times in their 3 year relation and that too with a group, never alone. Later on I found that he'd been lying to her alot and seeing other girls and lying about it to her as well, so their relation had been stale for a while and just continuing for the sake of it.

 

A few weeks before finding out about the depth of their relation, I proposed to her but she turned me down, I told her that we'd have to stop contacting each other there on, around a week after this she came to me and said she couldn't live without me and that she loved me. Though reluctant, I said yes as well and told her she needed to stop talking to the other guy if we must be together. She agreed, I asked her to destroy her old number and not give the guy the new number, she agreed. I gave her my sim. Anyways, 2 days into our relation she left her phone at my place, I picked up the phone to call her friend and found that she'd made calls to the other guy even after I told her not to. To this she said that since she had been crying it was her sister that had made the calls and not her, I didn't believe her and broke it off even though she begged me not to. I know her mother well as we're family friends, went to her place and told her about me and the girl and the other guy :mad:

 

I found out later that it was actually her sister who'd made the calls to check on the other guy... but I was pretty sick of the situation by then.

Since then her mother's asked her not to call the guy up anymore and she promised she wouldn't I'm quite certain she won't as well.

 

The problem now lies in the fact that I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now, she's still under shock after I told her mom everything and still isn't opening up about her feelings. She says she doesn't know what'll happen after this between us, the only thing she says is for sure is is that she doesn't want to get into relations with anyone else ever...

 

She hasn't contacted me after that though I've talked to her twice, she never makes it seem that she doesn't want to talk; she's still friendly as ever but the warmth is gone and I feel she's dealing with the situation much better than I am, she's also seeing a counselor by the way.

 

The problem is aggravated by the fact that her family lives near my house and we see each other multiple times every day.

Oh and also, she's 19 and I'm 24.

 

So

1. Is it over as far as me and her are concerned?

2. If not then should I give her space and let her contact me or should I keep initiating as always?

3. How do I cope with the hurt if this is it and its over, I'm not sure I wanna ask her if its over...

4. Any other advise/ suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Posted

This girls does not sound like she knows what she wants. She is only 19 years old. She is probably thinking about all the options and possibilities she has out there and is not ready to settle down. I know I wasn't at that age. She already broke your trust twice it seems. If you are looking for something serious I would say turn around and walk away because you are looking in the wrong direction. All this will do is become exhausting and a game you can never win.

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Posted

I also feel that from her side I was the rebound, she was my first love so things were pretty simple for me but she expressed doubts over whether she'd be able to love me back as much. Funnily she said no the day after she told me she loved me! That's when I talked to her mom lol. And its true I was pretty serious about me and her.

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