Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

How is it possible that a nice good girl who you love so much and spend with her almost three years can become a whole different person in two months? She starts to ignore you, be selfish and not sincere at all. She talks to you only when she needs something. She keeps lying you about the other guy and you trust her because you still love her. Her hobbies change, she listens to diffeirent music, smokes weed... And she still very likes that you do everything for her. And finally she dumps you the last day of your holiday together, two days later starts dating the other guy and a week after BU she comes just to tell you she LOVES him and she just realised after the BU. The other guy is complete opposite of? you and you considered him a friend and to be honest he is so annoying and egoist that he has now no other friends at all. And all this when you are having serious family issues which she knows about.

 

Just how is this possible? She used to tell me she wants to marry me and have children with me and then she turns 180 degrees towards a person who is such a prick. Ok she is 20 and instable, but this really got me lol. It has been almost a month since the BU, almost 3 weeks of NC and I now realise how she literally disgusts me. She played with me. But I am getting stronger every day...

  • Like 1
Posted

I ask myself the same thing man...

 

I also had family issues, my grandma passed away and then 1 month later my ex left me.

 

She had a total change from me being EVERYTHING to her to me being NOTHING to her.

 

I still don't understand how someone changes that much. But I think it is the pain and anger. They must go through something inside and they don't tell us or show us. And it bottles up till they pop... and once they pop they flip out.

 

I think the same way you do.. I just feel disgusted at how she can do this.. and not even show any remorse. No sorry just nothing. She blames me for everything probably to lower her guilt of knowing what she did will feel more right.

 

I would say you should go NC and never look back man. Maybe one day she will realize it all. And if she doesn't well...who cares. I think her age is a tip too. she's 20 and she will want to experiment for a few yrs. THough my ex and I are 25 now so I expect it to be more serious.. but I guess no age is serious these days....

 

There has to be a girl for you and one for me that will love us and not change out on us. Ones that will help us understand if something bothers them and work it out. I hope we find them soon or someday and I it will be the best times of our lives.

  • Like 1
Posted
I ask myself the same thing man...

 

I also had family issues, my grandma passed away and then 1 month later my ex left me.

 

She had a total change from me being EVERYTHING to her to me being NOTHING to her.

 

I still don't understand how someone changes that much. But I think it is the pain and anger. They must go through something inside and they don't tell us or show us. And it bottles up till they pop... and once they pop they flip out.

 

I think the same way you do.. I just feel disgusted at how she can do this.. and not even show any remorse. No sorry just nothing. She blames me for everything probably to lower her guilt of knowing what she did will feel more right.

 

I would say you should go NC and never look back man. Maybe one day she will realize it all. And if she doesn't well...who cares. I think her age is a tip too. she's 20 and she will want to experiment for a few yrs. THough my ex and I are 25 now so I expect it to be more serious.. but I guess no age is serious these days....

 

There has to be a girl for you and one for me that will love us and not change out on us. Ones that will help us understand if something bothers them and work it out. I hope we find them soon or someday and I it will be the best times of our lives.

 

That last paragraph pretty much sums up everything I want for Christmas this year lmao!!!!

Posted
How is it possible that a nice good girl who you love so much and spend with her almost three years can become a whole different person in two months? She starts to ignore you, be selfish and not sincere at all. She talks to you only when she needs something. She keeps lying you about the other guy and you trust her because you still love her. Her hobbies change, she listens to diffeirent music, smokes weed... And she still very likes that you do everything for her. And finally she dumps you the last day of your holiday together, two days later starts dating the other guy and a week after BU she comes just to tell you she LOVES him and she just realised after the BU. The other guy is complete opposite of? you and you considered him a friend and to be honest he is so annoying and egoist that he has now no other friends at all. And all this when you are having serious family issues which she knows about.

 

Just how is this possible? She used to tell me she wants to marry me and have children with me and then she turns 180 degrees towards a person who is such a prick. Ok she is 20 and instable, but this really got me lol. It has been almost a month since the BU, almost 3 weeks of NC and I now realise how she literally disgusts me. She played with me. But I am getting stronger every day...

 

It sucks man. People change and feelings change. Simple as that. If they truly loved you, they wouldn't have. All we can do is accept it and let it burn in time until they are ashes and eventually blow away. Then on to the next fire.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
It sucks man. People change and feelings change. Simple as that. If they truly loved you, they wouldn't have. All we can do is accept it and let it burn in time until they are ashes and eventually blow away. Then on to the next fire.

 

Yeah. I don't really blame her for falling out of love with me. I know I did all I could and dedicated all to her and she couldn't do the same for me those last months. I just hate how such a nice relationship ends so badly (she could have waited with dating someone else or at least not tell me :D) and that now I hate the person that was so dear to me. This is the saddest part for me. You spend every day with someone, you have always plenty things to talk about and suddenly you have to erase her from your life. You lose not only a lover, but also a friend and a part of family in one person. And of course I really liked her family and they liked me very much. And the dog...:D

  • Like 1
Posted
smokes weed...

 

Smokes weed, probably some other drugs, and there is your answer.

Posted

im sorry that happened to you 20 is young, the smoking weed if she didnt do it before is a bit of a tell,you said she was unstable, who knows why she went out with someone who was a dick head after you...maybe he is the supply of weed....

 

 

 

bad things happen to good people and there is no rhyme or reason for it sometimes however you try and analyze it....you just cant have the answer.....you just learn to accept it.......and move on....for you ....the positive is you are not wasting any more time with someone who doesn't love you because if you were still in that relationship that chance meeting you may have a week from now may not happen.....

 

 

when one door shuts another opens...... i think that was a quote at the bottom of a posters signature on here.......i have read it somewhere......it is appropriate for you though so i repeated it....now i am slinking off to go slightly insane trying to remember where i read it....best wishes......deb

Posted
It sucks man. People change and feelings change. Simple as that. If they truly loved you, they wouldn't have. All we can do is accept it and let it burn in time until they are ashes and eventually blow away. Then on to the next fire.

 

I'm sorry, but it is wrong to think that "true love" will keep people from changing. Everybody changes. It is a constant part of the cycle of life. It is intelligent people who are able to see and adapt to those changes. Sometimes love survives those changes and sometimes it does not.

 

But to wish for someone who will "never" change would be invoking a stagnancy akin to a death sentence.

Posted

People tend to change, love or not. Even lovers can argue badly. But point aside, you said that she was instantly with this other guy when you two broke-up. That tells me a lot(yes it happened to me..) I wondered why myself, but came to the conclusion, after reading many forums, that she was already seeing the other guy long before she called it off with me. In other words, this girl was already with the other guy long before calling it off with you...she just didn't tell you, enjoying what you could do for her, like a typical loser.

A cheater, a loser, and above that a druggie...Such girls are downers, lol, you are a very lucky man, as strange as that sounds...You will find a better person, only believe, take up new hobbies and you will be better off. Girls like that are the typical idiots who end up losers, trust me man.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

Thank you all for your opinions and support. Really appreciate it.

 

About the weed: Not that she never smoked before ( but that was really seldom - few times a year). I think that she began to smoke a lot because of this guy. I noticed she just wanted to be like him in all ways, repeating his opinions about everything. And so she became distant and now is not the girl I was in love with. She must be thinking how she has "grown up" now. Wow, what a mess there must be in her head. I pity her somehow.

 

Bad for her, good for me. ;)

 

EDIT: Just how love can make us blind to other peoples mistakes. I couldn't see all these things while we were still together.

Edited by Mandos
editing :D
Posted

It is my belief that the person who walks away a winner from the relationship is the one who learns from his/her mistakes in the relationship and betters themselves from it.

Posted
It is my belief that the person who walks away a winner from the relationship is the one who learns from his/her mistakes in the relationship and betters themselves from it.

that's true.. but I really believe people need to fix mistakes too IF they can be fixed. I mean otherwise everyone will make atleast 1 mistake in any relationship and it would mean no relationship would exist.

 

There has to be a way for someone to to also sit down and work out the relationship and at the same time learn from mistakes made. But obviously this works for only SOME mistakes. I can't see how it would work for cheating.. but for other minor things like lack of communication, understanding, caring etc.. it's able to be fixed with working it out.

×
×
  • Create New...