dandyandy Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 (edited) Curious to get some reads on her motives and how to play it. I'm not good at paring down details, sorry for the length. Met this girl, call her W, (mid 20s, couple years younger than me) at a bar, she and her friend came and set next to me, almost immediately asked me if i danced, (to which i responded "Am I Human?" etc. etc. Turns out her friend I recognized from a few years back at the uni. Eventually danced with her 30 min or so, she wanted my hand in the small of her back, then put her number in my phone before leaving. Lots of good signs throughout, sexual and intellectual. Next morning get a fb friend request from the friend (she and W had plans to have breakfast together I recall). I had talked with W about a prank I wanted to play on some friends, she had good ideas and wanted to come help me steal a sign for the prank, so I call her midday as I said I would, friendly talk, but I kinda suspected she would be busy, was leaving town for work all that week, so no biggie. Sent her a fb friend request midweek since her friend had broken the ice, with the thought of staying in her mind while she's gone for work. She doesn't get it till being back at home sunday, immediately sends me a message saying a college friend is in town staying with her and they want to come hike near where i live the next weekend, will i show them the ropes? A few more friendly messages back and forth throughout the week. So, date with the girl and her friend, oh well. Shows up with an immediate hug and light flirtatious talk. They come in, ooh and aah at my house, artwork, etc. and stay longer than I would have thought. Then we go hike. Ridiculous quantity of questions throughout the day, (marriage sizing up???) put me off a bit to have her friend with her and I didn't turn them back on her nearly like I should have. I think having the friend there gave her way more confidence, not a situation i really prepared for. She kept alluding to a few ways we could see each other in the future (I live 1 hr away), mentioned several different things with an "us" sort of theme. Light brushing against me for part of the hike. We ate at a mtn lodge after and out of nowhere she wanted me to testdrive her car to get there. Deliberately sat herself across from me while we ate. I drive us back home and she's in the back seat, at one point she grabs my shoulders, and I mention she's welcome to give me a massage, which yields a ten minute shoulder rub. And she mentions that she would love a massage sometime... They check out a few outbuildings at my place when we get back but have to go on to another obligation, so we hug and part ways. Missed the chance to enjoy that hug and then some but she had me in a weird spot with her friend right there, so a quick hug and I hug the friend too, nice to meet you, and off they go. I'd play it differently but I go back and forth on whether this was a real mistake or not, easy kiss situation, but maybe she just wants it more now? Does a girl want to be kissed by a new guy in front of her friend? Decide to play the silent space over the next few days, being that she's obviously occupied with her friend around for the week. She'd mentioned they were road tripping to a hotsprings the next weekend and gave me a half invite, which i didn't really bite on, seemed like a girls trip. Decide to call her midweek, see if she was still planning on being gone for the weekend (i.e. remind her to think about me while roadtripping with her girlfriends), made friendly talk, she flattered me just a bit, and then cut it off before i could. she mentioned her friend was leaving monday night and I told her to give me a call, gave her a definite indication that I wanted her. I hate to say there aren't other guys in the wings, but this girl seems way more into her friendships with female friends than playing guys too much, so I'm patient. Lookswise she is maybe only 7 for some,but I'd put her package at 8+, definite LTR. I've been flirting with some other women to avoid the one-itis, but it's hard to be real serious about them, I'll admit it. So, how would you proceed? I haven't explained everything, but I have to ask, what do you read in her signs about her intentions? I expect she'll call next 48 hours...can't decide if I should opt for contact right away or make her wait a day or two. Might just let her leave a message and try and get a read from there. Thoughts??? Ultimate dilemma is take it slow or be upfront. I want to just run with it, but... Edited November 27, 2012 by dandyandy
Kelly15 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Sounds like she just feeling you out before she goes on a real date with u
aussietigerwolf Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Just bite the bullet and ask her out
Author dandyandy Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 Asking her out is inevitable, unless she calls and asks first. I've just had three weeks to sit and think on it because of the week out of town and two weeks with her friend visiting, so I want to walk the line between giving her space and being ready for more. I really dig her and she knows it, but I've seen too many people be too eager in relationships and it makes part of me nervous to open up too eagerly...
Author dandyandy Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 Bump. I told her to call me this week, really wish I'd stated matter of factly that I'd call her Tuesday (today) instead. She's more than an hour away which complicates things a hair... Do I wait it out (how long?) or call her? Moon is full, it's cold out, I'm ready ASAP for that massage... Curious on your reasoning too, not just your answer
Author dandyandy Posted November 28, 2012 Author Posted November 28, 2012 sent her a text this AM to prime her for my call this afternoon to schedule "massage appointment", ended up calling early evening, she had texted back around 4pm very eager, definitely not MUCH of a phone girl, I doubt she checked it all day (apparently they do still exist!) phone call results generally great, i offered a spontaneous outing, I suspected she'd decline and then spend the evening realizing it as her loss and regretting it, she almost was accepting even though she initially had plans to go swimming, then I got a "can I call you right back? mutual friend (from meetup 1) is here and about to go and I need to say goodbye" so I said "yeah, bye bye" took a shower and got on with my evening. No call back, typical woman living in the moment, kinda sensed some female bull**** conversations going on with the friend, and maybe a bit of that time of the month on her part thought that's mostly speculation. She knew I' be out with her or without her. Got a voicemail a few hours later with a warm genuine sounding hello and" Sorry about that, blahblah female bull**** string of events, call when you get a chance." committed to ignore it at least 2 hours if not till tomorrow at the minimum. little over an hour later here's the first text she's really initiated "Sorry I missed you! Still awake. Call me." Such predictable creatures sometimes. Now, decisions, decisions... Current thinking is tomorrow late evening phone call
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