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Whats wrong with me why can I not get a boyfriend?

pbjbear

By pbjbear
in Dating

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mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
Posted

It's hard to say, there is no ONE answer to anything anymore in this field. All you can do is keep looking and trying new things and whatnot. Eventually SOMETHING will happen, and chances are, like they say, it happens when you least expect it. That goes for good and bad things.

 

And I think women need to give themselves a message which is sorely lacking out there: If he rejects you, remember, HE is the loser not you. Instead we allow things like this to chip away at our self-esteem when they really are not things we have much control over anyway. He was like that when you got here, it had nothing to do with you.

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meandmyself Established Member

meandmyself

Posted
Posted
It's hard to say, there is no ONE answer to anything anymore in this field. All you can do is keep looking and trying new things and whatnot. Eventually SOMETHING will happen, and chances are, like they say, it happens when you least expect it. That goes for good and bad things.

 

And I think women need to give themselves a message which is sorely lacking out there: If he rejects you, remember, HE is the loser not you. Instead we allow things like this to chip away at our self-esteem when they really are not things we have much control over anyway. He was like that when you got here, it had nothing to do with you.

 

100% in agreement!

  • 1 month later...
FredRutherford Established Member

FredRutherford

Posted
Posted (edited)
I dont put out quickly but expecting a man to wait until Im his girlfriend doesnt seem like a good idea.

If you desire a "relationship-first" man, then waiting until the two of you have feelings, are falling in love, etc., would be wise.

Otherwise, you'll get anything.

 

Never had a lot of casual sex, but the times I did left me feeling less respect toward her (and me).

Edited by FredRutherford
crude Established Member

crude

Posted
Posted

It might just be that you aren't as interested in a long term relationship as you think you are, so you choose the type of men who aren't either. Like a woman who sets impossibly high standards for potential husbands, knowing full well she'll never find that guy, but she can tell her mother and perhaps herself that she tried.

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
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Well I dont take it seriously anymore. Prob why I get called detached. I just view dates as a way to meet new people and pass the time. I highly doubt I will get a boyfriend anytime soon considering Im prob too normal in the demographic where I live. This is truly my attitude.

 

I will try to work on not being judgmental. But I must say when I find out a man has had an inordinate amount of casual sex I become less attracted to them so it wont help...

 

You sound stuck up.

 

 

 

Maybe it is just me... but you really do.

You say all these good qualities and how men are players and you stay away from them and blah blah blah.

 

You MUST be too good for anyone. It is the only reason you would be single with no boyfriend at 25. Or you just suck at dating.

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
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I also want to say that the whole sex thing?

Maybe try NOT giving it up, then maybe you will find a guy who is with you for your amazing personality.

 

 

If they turn out to be a jerk about it?

AWESOME. He isn't for you!

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pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

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You sound stuck up.

 

 

 

Maybe it is just me... but you really do.

You say all these good qualities and how men are players and you stay away from them and blah blah blah.

 

You MUST be too good for anyone. It is the only reason you would be single with no boyfriend at 25. Or you just suck at dating.

 

Look at your private messages

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

Posted
Posted
Look at your private messages

 

Nothing there :confused:

miss_jaclynrae Established Member

miss_jaclynrae

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Look at your private messages

 

No why? Should there be?

 

 

 

WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?!

:eek:

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pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

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I'll sleep with you and we can have a serious relationship. You sound like a cool woman, just be prepared. I still live with my parents and I don't have a good paying job and won't for another 3 yrs. But I have ambition....does that count?

 

why wont you for 3 years?

  • 3 weeks later...
ImHereImThere New Member

ImHereImThere

Posted
Posted (edited)

Sounds weird for you not to be able to get in a relationship if you are as good as you say you are, but I a lot of people do have this issue depending on what type of guy you are looking for.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
MidwestUSA Established Member

MidwestUSA

Posted
Posted

You say you "don't give it up easily", but the evidence says you do. Especially since you admit you are being used for sex. You also state your standards "aren't very high".

 

So, I have to ask, how is the sex when you give it up?

animalover Established Member

animalover

Posted
Posted

I always have my doubts when someone picture herself as beautiful, smart, independent, strong, confident, etc... and then complains about not being able to enter in a relationship... something does not add up...

 

I do agree with MdwestUSA... how can you actually allow other people to use you for sex...? Why do you think if you have sex with someone you don't want to have sex with... will help you to get a relationship?

velvetunderground Established Member

velvetunderground

Posted
Posted

Ok I'm going to go in a completely opposite direction here. Stop dating. Just hang out with guys doing fun stuff, preferably outside, preferably physical (skating, jogging, etc). It's an easy way to talk with no pressure. You find out if you really are compatible because it's a real-life situation. If you like each other, it will turn into dating. By the time it turns into dating, you're already in a relationship.

  • Like 1
TouchedByViolet Established Member

TouchedByViolet

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Posted

I would like to see a picture of you

velvetunderground Established Member

velvetunderground

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I would like to see a picture of you

 

A lot of people are asking OP for pictures, but what does it really matter? Unattractive people have relationships, attractive people have relationships. Women who wear too much makeup have relationships. Women who wear no makeup have relationships.

animalover Established Member

animalover

Posted
Posted
A lot of people are asking OP for pictures, but what does it really matter? Unattractive people have relationships, attractive people have relationships. Women who wear too much makeup have relationships. Women who wear no makeup have relationships.

 

Well it matters... it is not as easy to get into a relationship for an unattractive person as for a attractive person... that is a fact!

 

OP is claiming to be almost perfect (if you read her original post), some of us just wonder how much of that is true...

velvetunderground Established Member

velvetunderground

Posted
Posted

If she's getting lots of dates she's not a dog.

animalover Established Member

animalover

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Posted
If she's getting lots of dates she's not a dog.

 

or she is a dog, but just put out fast...

 

If she is not a dog... then she really have to have serious personality issues if she can't get into a relationship...

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

Posted
Posted

OP I'm guessing it's not your looks that are the problem.

 

But truth be told you remind me of the chick version of a lot of the bitter dudes who post here.

 

While you may not openly convey these opinions of men on your dates, I'll say it again - this is a vibe you have that people pick up on regardless of what you say or don't say.

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pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

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LMAO. I dont give it up easily, tons of men are willing to be patient and then bolt the second they get it. I can tell alot of the people responding didnt really read all my replies so Ill say again, I get creamed on here by some when I say I never put out in the first 4 dates. Waiting doesnt guarantee he will stick around though. Also add in that holding off for too long scares them away too. I think the women that respond "make a man commit first then" have good intentions but where I live, there are a ton of females ready to give it up way before the first 4 dates so if I dont put out pretty early a guy wont wait.

 

Im not dating anymore. Ive talked to alot of people (females) here in NYC that have the same problem as me. One of my closest friends who had the same issue as me moved out to the Midwest a year ago and when I talked to her 2 weeks ago, she said she has no issues getting a boyfriend there and that I should give up trying to find a committal man in NYC where theres a surplus of women since Im planning on moving within the next year. So thats what Im doing

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pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

Posted
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Well it matters... it is not as easy to get into a relationship for an unattractive person as for a attractive person... that is a fact!

 

OP is claiming to be almost perfect (if you read her original post), some of us just wonder how much of that is true...

 

Ive never claimed to be almost perfect.

lakerman34 Established Member

lakerman34

Posted
Posted

It's funny, coming from me, but I think you might be a similar personality to the girl I'm trying to date. She has never had a serious relationship, but she's gorgeous, EXTREMELY nice, intelligent, the list goes on and on BUT she can't land a boyfriend.

 

My guess -- have their been guys that were interested in you and then you decided "hmmm......maybe not?" I think we get caught in this loop where what we REALLY want is what we can't have, when we can actually have someone who is very good for us.

 

Just some food for thought.

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pbjbear Established Member

pbjbear

Posted
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Come to the midwest OP, I'll date you ;)

 

You do seem like the kind of guy Id want to date (based on your posts)

 

But Im not moving to the midwest :(

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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