eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 So my boyfriend (maybe soon to be ex-boyfriend) and I just had an argument about... herpes HOw did it happen? he found acyclovir in the house he is staying in and he asked me to remind him what acyclovir is for (he is also a medical student). I told him: acyclovir is for herpes and related things. him: that is gross I can't believe so and so has herpes me: She could have oral herpes. him: still, it is gross. That would be a dealbreaker for me me: oral herpes? the one that little kids get? the one that like 60% of the population has? him: yes. that is gross. Total dealbreaker. Do you have it? me: quite possibly. My mom and my sister both have had outbreaks in the past and since it is transnmitted by drinking from cups and stuff like that, I could have it. But i have never had an outbreak him: I could never date someone with tan STD that is so gross. He is seriously saying that herpes type 1 is a dealbreaker for him Is it me or is this total douche behavior? Is this a dealbreaker for someone else out there??
carhill Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Truth is truth. He expressed his. I hope it holds him in good stead. From my chair, he has a bit to learn about the flow of interpersonal relationships. He took what could have been an intimacy-building conversation and essentially issued an ultimatum. That doesn't sound very synergistic to me. Douche? Some people might opine that. Myself, I'd just bury the canary and move on. Dry hole.
kaylan Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Some people are just turned off by diseases. Personally I would be too. Id be more understanding of cold sores, but I definitely would want no contact with a girl while she has one. Id want her to clear up first. Luckily Im free of all diseases....so tbh Id prefer a girl whos the same.
Author eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 Some people are just turned off by diseases. Personally I would be too. Id be more understanding of cold sores, but I definitely would want no contact with a girl while she has one. Id want her to clear up first. Luckily Im free of all diseases....so tbh Id prefer a girl whos the same. oral herpes is coloquialy known as cold sores
Nightsky Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 oral herpes is coloquialy known as cold sores Yes Kaylan knows
kaylan Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 oral herpes is coloquialy known as cold sores I know. And not everyone has it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 He just sounds like someone who is genuinely (and very rationally I might add) ignorant about this subject. Perhaps, after a cooling off period he might be open to learning more about herpes. Lots of people in the world are uneducated when it comes to various aspects of health and hygiene. If you're going to be a doctor you will probably come into contact with people like this in the future. Might as well learn how to handle it now... 1
Balzac Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Let me guess, new white coat, 1st year. He's already forgotten microbiology lab.
Author eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 Let me guess, new white coat, 1st year. He's already forgotten microbiology lab. no, we are 4th years... he should know better
Citizen Erased Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 The more you post about him, the more I question what you see in him... 9
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 no, we are 4th years... he should know better The wisdom of occupational licensing when it comes to physicians should come into question when examples like this emerge...
Balzac Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 The well known path for docs of his type is: psychiatry. The specialty where he can do the least harm.
kaylan Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 The more you post about him, the more I question what you see in him... I dont see what the problem is though. He has a prference to avoid diseases. Thats no biggie imo. I dont care how many people we all say has herpes. Look, when a black woman decides to date only black men in the USA, and basically excludes 87% of the rest of the male population, no one would see much problem right? So why should it be an issue for someone to want to date people with no diseases if there are plenty of people to go around without them.
LadyGrey Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 For a medical student he is ignorant about cold sores, (oral herpes, HSV1). Source........here. This site says 90% of US citizens will have contracted oral herpes by the time they are 50. It's likely he already has it himself.
kaylan Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Thank you for making the point of how immature/illogical a person like yourself is. But please go on with you your black women excluding 87%... Do they also have age preferences/geographical preferences? I mean I'd argue those would exclude 95+% at least right? Illogical? Oh gimme a break The point was that people have preference and millions of people live in this country, so its not unreasonable for someone to want to date only their race or only people without herpes. And yes, people have age and geographic preferences. Thats the point...preferences are preferences and theres no reason to whine about someones preferences.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 The well known path for docs of his type is: psychiatry. The specialty where he can do the least harm. I was thinking podiatrist. Seems harmless enough...
Author eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 I was thinking podiatrist. Seems harmless enough... I am going to be a psychiatrist. he is going. into radiology. I am interested in psychosomatic medicine though so i think i will do more pt work than him
dasein Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 Funny thread, but due to replies, not OP's situation. He sounds questionable OP, you can do better. Not that his preference is totally bizarre, some people just feel that way, but the way he expresses himself to you is lacking and like a drama queen. This won't likely improve. If I were you I'd get some large fake makeup cold sores, maybe 4-5, and then beg him for some "sugar." Get the reaction on vid for youtube. 1
Pyro Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 So my boyfriend (maybe soon to be ex-boyfriend) and I just had an argument about... herpes HOw did it happen? he found acyclovir in the house he is staying in and he asked me to remind him what acyclovir is for (he is also a medical student). I told him: acyclovir is for herpes and related things. him: that is gross I can't believe so and so has herpes me: She could have oral herpes. him: still, it is gross. That would be a dealbreaker for me me: oral herpes? the one that little kids get? the one that like 60% of the population has? him: yes. that is gross. Total dealbreaker. Do you have it? me: quite possibly. My mom and my sister both have had outbreaks in the past and since it is transnmitted by drinking from cups and stuff like that, I could have it. But i have never had an outbreak him: I could never date someone with tan STD that is so gross. He is seriously saying that herpes type 1 is a dealbreaker for him Is it me or is this total douche behavior? Is this a dealbreaker for someone else out there?? Well he is certainly entitled to his preferences and opinions but the fact that a subject like that created an argument should make you glad that you haven't married him or had any kids with him.
SmileFace Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 What confuses me is that you told him you may have it since both your sister and mother had outbreaks... did he break up with you? I am pretty sure he was just talking out his ass... however an arguement over this is silly. However it being a deal breaker -- may not be.
Author eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 What confuses me is that you told him you may have it since both your sister and mother had outbreaks... did he break up with you? I am pretty sure he was just talking out his ass... however an arguement over this is silly. However it being a deal breaker -- may not be. i feel like having a deal breaker be a health condition that 60% or more of the population has is unreasonable
SmileFace Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 i feel like having a deal breaker be a health condition that 60% or more of the population has is unreasonable It doesn't matter what you consider unreasonable as a deal breaker. He is allowed to have them. If I was you - I would end it on the fact that you both have two differenting opinions -- you can not change or rationalize what he considers a deal breaker. It seems as if you are trying to find a reason to stay in this relationship. The silly bickering you both do seems so tiring.
Author eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 It doesn't matter what you consider unreasonable as a deal breaker. He is allowed to have them. If I was you - I would end it on the fact that you both have two differenting opinions -- you can not change or rationalize what he considers a deal breaker. It seems as if you are trying to find a reason to stay in this relationship. The silly bickering you both do seems so tiring. i feel like if this was so important to him he should have mentioned it 8 months ago! 1
SmileFace Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 i feel like if this was so important to him he should have mentioned it 8 months ago! Yes... that is where the talking out his ass part comes in. Which he seems to always do. 1
Author eleanorhurting Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 I cant believe i am losing slep over this
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