starla33 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 so i met this guy through some friends and its going well other than the part where I'm the on initiating texts after our dates. When I do initiate he is the one to ask out after we chat for a bit, but still I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing him if I'm the one constantly initiating? Should I just forget it?
NiceGuyDTW Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 so i met this guy through some friends and its going well other than the part where I'm the on initiating texts after our dates. When I do initiate he is the one to ask out after we chat for a bit, but still I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing him if I'm the one constantly initiating? Should I just forget it? Was in the same situation. If he's interested there should be equal response from him. If you're not getting that response, and you always have to initiate. Then just stop initiating, and assume he's just not into it. If he is he'll come to you. Move on. Good luck to you.. I feel your frustration
ScreamingTrees Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 I'm just curious.. Is it an unspoken rule that girls do an equal amount of initiating once the guy has shown his interest by initiating in the beginning? I say you shouldn't waste your time, if he seems like an otherwise extroverted guy. If he's more on the quiet side, if he's confident he shouldn't have a problem taking the initiative if you're showing interest and encouraging him. If you feel that he knows you're interested and have nothing left to lose, let it be known that you'd appreciate it if he was more aggressive. Either he shapes up, or ships out. He might still need some coaxing, but he might just be disinterested or have a crippling shyness..
newmoon Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 as long as he's reponding positively and asking you out when you text/call, then keep initiating. the fact that he's asking you out shows his interest. but just keep in mind that you're probably stumbling upon a facet of his personality that might be problematic later (not aggressive, slow, doesn't take initiative, etc)
Author starla33 Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 I'm just curious.. Is it an unspoken rule that girls do an equal amount of initiating once the guy has shown his interest by initiating in the beginning? I say you shouldn't waste your time, if he seems like an otherwise extroverted guy. If he's more on the quiet side, if he's confident he shouldn't have a problem taking the initiative if you're showing interest and encouraging him. If you feel that he knows you're interested and have nothing left to lose, let it be known that you'd appreciate it if he was more aggressive. Either he shapes up, or ships out. He might still need some coaxing, but he might just be disinterested or have a crippling shyness.. He is not shy at all and has read way too many pickupartist books (apparently expecting the girl to run after him I'm assuming) I'm sick of initiating unfortunately even if he is positively responding 1
lovebug1234 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 i'm stuck in the same situation, i just lined up another date this weekend so i don't think about my guy. ****ing jerk URG. 1
Author starla33 Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 i'm stuck in the same situation, i just lined up another date this weekend so i don't think about my guy. ****ing jerk URG. So you have stopped initiating then? I'm not patient so if I don't hear from someone within 2 days I initiate....bad bad habit
Shaun-Dro Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 so i met this guy through some friends and its going well other than the part where I'm the on initiating texts after our dates. When I do initiate he is the one to ask out after we chat for a bit, but still I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing him if I'm the one constantly initiating? Should I just forget it? No, keep doing what you're doing. It's called sharing the bill since he's the one asking you out all the time.
lovebug1234 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 i love to chase starla but what I do know about the current guy I like is that he wants to be the man, so MY best bet is to wait it out. It TOTALLY SUCKS though. going on another date is good though, gets my mind off him. and if he decides i'm not worth it, then at least i can still have a good time.
NoMoreJerks Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 He is not shy at all and has read way too many pickupartist books (apparently expecting the girl to run after him I'm assuming) I'm sick of initiating unfortunately even if he is positively responding I agree -- he's playing hard to get / taking you for granted. More red flags on this one than there are in China. Drop this guy and move on.If he runs after you once you do that, i'd still move on anyway, because he WILL go back to blowing cold air once he has "won you over" again.. he's one of those men who will blow hot & cold air depending on your reactions. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 I don't like being chased -- I like a healthy dose of interest being shown. The guy the OP is talking about , however, is not showing much of that, by not initiating any conversations. This is not about chasing at all.
lovebug1234 Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 just put him on the backburner and move on. you can't win all of it =) sip a glass of wine, have some chocolate and call a hottie! 1
Author starla33 Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 heathy does of interest, every single woman who uses prhases like that think it's all a game. This is not true it's just we would like things to be equal not one sided.
Author starla33 Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 I don't like being chased -- I like a healthy dose of interest being shown. The guy the OP is talking about , however, is not showing much of that, by not initiating any conversations. This is not about chasing at all. I guess he has initiated texts after we already have plans, but not right after a date thats always been me....so....
LittlePrince Posted November 27, 2012 Posted November 27, 2012 so i met this guy through some friends and its going well other than the part where I'm the on initiating texts after our dates. When I do initiate he is the one to ask out after we chat for a bit, but still I'm starting to feel like I'm chasing him if I'm the one constantly initiating? Should I just forget it? You are looking for us to give you reasons to break up with him. You want to break up with him. You should break up with him on your own standing on your own two feet instead of having us do it for you. 1
Author starla33 Posted November 27, 2012 Author Posted November 27, 2012 You are looking for us to give you reasons to break up with him. You want to break up with him. You should break up with him on your own standing on your own two feet instead of having us do it for you. no im not you cant break up after only a few dates anyway. I'm just asking if this is a bad sign...which obviously it is
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