Why do men have a timeline of when they must have had sex by?

[peytondoll]

I have met some men like this in real life and then seen alot of posts conveying this.

 

I dont really go into dating with expectations. It depends on the person. Im not a super trusting person overall and alot of the men Ive met are online... so I will work up to doing everything but sex if Ive been seeing someone a bit ( not a moral thing- just doing it with random strangers who I dont know at all is weird and I find the sex to not be good ) but I will go all the way with someone who I have been seeing for at least a month or two. They dont have to be my boyfriend, just I need to be seeing them for some length of time. And everything I said is an average...sometimes I take longer or shorter it depends. I have had a few men make me wait actually. But I am amused by men who say no sex before 3 dates or a month and they write someone off...

 

Not everybody is the same and everybody has a different pace. I dont want to force my ideals on someone else. I kind of feel like people arent open minded enough...

[fortyninethousand322]

I don't know. I'm a guy and I wouldn't have sex until 6 months or so into the relationship. And that's only if the woman really wanted sex. I'm ok going without...

[ThaWholigan]

I don't have a timeline.

 

The end.

 

Yes some people aren't open-minded enough, but unfortunately it's their prerogative.

[dasein]

I don't have a timeline, just haven't met a woman since HS who wasn't dtf sometime in the first month after meeting, usually on date 2 or 3, sometimes without any dates at all.

[crude]

I don't know. I'm a guy and I wouldn't have sex until 6 months or so into the relationship. And that's only if the woman really wanted sex. I'm ok going without...

 

You must have a harem, so you don't have to rush the new recruits.

[amaysngrace]

Guys need a timeline cause they want something in return for all the money they've been shelling out.

 

They don't want to spend too much on a lousy lay. That's why they wanna do the deed ay-sap.

[henderson14]

I guess because its hard for me to move forward into a relationship like meeting the parents and being exclusive until I sleep with them. If they won't sleep with me after so long I assume they aren't intersted. It's more of a "getting it out of the way so we can move forward" thing. Its also a form of rejection and can be seen as they don't trust me or like me.

[peytondoll]

Guys need a timeline cause they want something in return for all the money they've been shelling out.

 

They don't want to spend too much on a lousy lay. That's why they wanna do the deed ay-sap.

 

Yeah I can see this. It can get expensive. However, since 3 years ago I pay my way on all my dates unless the guy flips a **** and it still happens.

[amaysngrace]

Yeah I can see this. It can get expensive. However, since 3 years ago I pay my way on all my dates unless the guy flips a **** and it still happens.

 

What do these stars ** mean?

[crude]

Yeah I can see this. It can get expensive. However, since 3 years ago I pay my way on all my dates unless the guy flips a **** and it still happens.

 

Wow. You deserve some respect! You have no idea the sense of entitlement many women have.

[Lonely Ronin]

I don't have a time timeline, I have a mutual comfort level timeline. If I reach a point in a relationship, where we both seem comfortable and something doesn't happen, my past experiences have taught me to be suspicious of whats going on. I don't mean suspicious in a being used kind of way, more of a what hangs-ups, or issues isn't she telling me about.

[El Brujo]

Dunno... but the late actor Anthony Quinn supposedly fathered kids when he was in his 80s. If that story is true, he probably had no use for a timeline.

 

What do these stars ** mean?

 

Someone tried to type one of the Seven Deadly Words. Personally, I don't know why the mods won't just allow cussing on the board... anyone with half a brain knows what the stars stand for.

[grkBoy]

I don't have a timeline. In all honesty, my fiancee was ready for sex before I was...meaning that night she stayed over, I told her I wasn't ready...so we ended up just cuddling and sleeping.

 

I think for many guys, they mainly just want to know this is going somewhere. We men believe if we take a girl out many times and it seems to not be going anyplace romantically...we worry then she's simply and slowly friendzoning us.

 

I don't believe in the "3 date rule" or the philosophy of getting her into bed ASAP. However, I do believe if it's been 3-4 dates and nothing "romantic" has happened yet (and the guy has made moves), then I'd tell the guy it's not going to happen.

[gaius]

Most guys are full of crap peyton. Don't put much faith into what they have to say about timelines and stuff like that. It's bull**** meant to impress the other men around them.

[amaysngrace]

However, since 3 years ago I pay my way on all my dates unless the guy flips a **** and it still happens.

 

Personally, I don't know why the mods won't just allow cussing on the board... anyone with half a brain knows what the stars stand for.

 

I tried plugging in the stars with all the words I could think of and couldn't figure it out. That's why I asked.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Most guys are full of crap peyton. Don't put much faith into what they have to say about timelines and stuff like that. It's bull**** meant to impress the other men around them.

I will gladly state I am full of crap. By date 3, I am going for sex. If a woman says she's not ready I will respect that. By date 6, if she's still not ready, I'm gone. I don't care whether she thinks I'm a creep who is "only interested in sex".

 

Despite the fact that I grew in a conservative household, I like to think my views of sex are easygoing. I don't think a woman who has sex on the 1st date is automatically more a slut than a woman who has sex on the 20th date. I know many guys who are unhappy with their sex lives. Their lovers usually have a conservative view of sex. And these guys afraid if they are too direct and upfront in their desire for sex then it will push their women away.

 

A satisfying sex life is extremely important to me. My gf and I are extremely affectionate before, during, and after sex. She's never had an uptight view of sex, mainly cuz she grew up in a Latino environment without strict Protestant values. In any case, she never gave me a hard time when I went for (and received) sex on the 3rd date.

[kaylan]

Both men and women have a timeline. And its because no one likes wasting their time on someone they may not be compatible with. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of relationship compatibility.

Guys need a timeline cause they want something in return for all the money they've been shelling out.

 

They don't want to spend too much on a lousy lay. That's why they wanna do the deed ay-sap.

Unbelievablyfalse for myself and the guys I hang with.

 

We dont want to waste our time on a woman who may not really be into us. In my experience, if a girl is into me, it wont take long for us to have sex.

I don't have a timeline, just haven't met a woman since HS who wasn't dtf sometime in the first month after meeting, usually on date 2 or 3, sometimes without any dates at all.

This.

 

And this applies to the sluttiest and even classiest girls Ive known. When they want a guy and trust him, they will drop their panties.

Edited November 27, 2012 by kaylan

[peytondoll]

I will gladly state I am full of crap. By date 3, I am going for sex. If a woman says she's not ready I will respect that. By date 6, if she's still not ready, I'm gone. I don't care whether she thinks I'm a creep who is "only interested in sex".

 

Despite the fact that I grew in a conservative household, I like to think my views of sex are easygoing. I don't think a woman who has sex on the 1st date is automatically more a slut than a woman who has sex on the 20th date. I know many guys who are unhappy with their sex lives. Their lovers usually have a conservative view of sex. And these guys afraid if they are too direct and upfront in their desire for sex then it will push their women away.

 

A satisfying sex life is extremely important to me. My gf and I are extremely affectionate before, during, and after sex. She's never had an uptight view of sex, mainly cuz she grew up in a Latino environment without strict Protestant values. In any case, she never gave me a hard time when I went for (and received) sex on the 3rd date.

 

I can see why...but just because a girl doesnt put out by date 6 means she doesnt have a healthy sex drive. None of my exes complained about sex with me. Towards the end of most of my relationships, it was usually me wanting more physical contact. But yet this European guy I dated pressured me to have sex quickly yet in a relationship never initiated sex with me and it caused problems

[peytondoll]

Both men and women have a timeline. And its because no one likes wasting their time on someone they may not be compatible with. Sexual compatibility is a huge part of relationship compatibility.

Unbelievablyfalse for myself and the guys I hang with.

 

We dont want to waste our time on a woman who may not really be into us. In my experience, if a girl is into me, it wont take long for us to have sex.

This.

 

And this applies to the sluttiest and even classiest girls Ive known. When they want a guy and trust him, they will drop their panties.

 

You guys do live in a slutty world...I asked about 20 women in my class (all mid 20's to mid 30's) if them not willing to have sex by date 3 means theyre not interested and most said no and that unless it was someone theyve known for awhile, they felt it was too soon. Why cant some men get that some women arent so trusting (you cannot trust someone after 3 dates! how people act on the first 3 dates is NOT an accurate representation of a person!) and willing to sleep with just anyone? Why is it bad to be selective? I dont buy this bullcrap about "if I dont have sex with you that means Im not interested"

Edited November 27, 2012 by peytondoll

[MrCastle]

I have a timeline. It's flexible but it's typically around a month or so.

 

I do it for both me and the woman.

 

I'm 25, I'm an adult. I think a month is more than enough time for an adult woman to decide whether or not she's willing to sleep with me.

 

I'm not here to waste my time, or hers. If I go about a month with no action, I drop her. I assume she's either game playing, or prude, or both. Neither of those are attractive traits to have in my opinion. On the flipside, I'm not wasting her time and she's free to go and find a guy willing to wait extended periods of time.

 

Sex is not a big deal to me. I don't like when either gender witholds it or uses it to gain some sort of edge. If you're attracted to me, and we're both single, and we kiss and other stuff, why are we not having sex?

 

And I'm not promoting day one sex as I've said in several posts, the opposite of holding back (giving it up too soon) is also particularly unattractive to me as well, if my goal is to have a relationship with this person.

 

I don't mind waiting a little bit, but eventually you have to have the attitude of "it's just sex, let's do it" and not someone who's shy to show their sexual side. That's a turn off in my opinion.

[carhill]

I've never had an intercourse timeline but do have a timeline for clear and proactive progression of intimacy, one which has become more comprehensive and specific as a result of LTR's and being married. If things don't match up, next. Why? Too many instances of ersatz intimacy ('letting me love her') and being an emotional tampon. Life teaches lessons.

[kaylan]

You guys do live in a slutty world...I asked about 20 women in my class (all mid 20's to mid 30's) if them not willing to have sex by date 3 means theyre not interested and most said no and that unless it was someone theyve known for awhile, they felt it was too soon. Why cant some men get that some women arent so trusting (you cannot trust someone after 3 dates! how people act on the first 3 dates is NOT an accurate representation of a person!) and willing to sleep with just anyone? Why is it bad to be selective? I dont buy this bullcrap about "if I dont have sex with you that means Im not interested"

Because women will be honest in public about how fast they will sleep with a guy . I bet 85% of those women have slept with a guy within three dates before because the passion was intense.

 

Dont make me laugh. I know a variety of women, from the sluttiest, to the most uptight, who have had sex early on with a guy they had great chemistry with. Chemistry has no timeline rules. When its there, it can conquer all rules.

[somedude81]

Probably the same reasons that women have a first kiss timeline.

[todreaminblue]

I think everybody should respect whatever that person they are dating wants or feels...male ro female.....i think it is unfair to write someone off because they dont want to have sex and as far as the slowly friendzoning a guy making guys antsy.....they should be able to ask what is happening and be able to trust they will be told the truth

 

 

if a female or male dumps because of sex doesn't show a real investment to me, just a desire to have their own way or the highway..which is their choice and good luck to them...deb

[kaylan]

Probably the same reasons that women have a first kiss timeline.

This.

 

/thread