maui2k4 Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 About 2 years ago my ex and I started going out. Over the next 2 years we broke up several times and each time we both started seeing someone else and then ended up back together again. Once again, after a couple of more months together, she called me this week and told me she just did not think it was working and assured me it was not because of someone else. I believed her, but then reality set in. Earlier today I dropped by her house to return her things and saw a car in her driveway that some guy from her work drives. I should have known. I just left her items in a bag on the door handle and left - no drama. I guess my question is why have I allowed myself to go back to her over and over only to get tossed aside when "the next new guy" comes along? Logically I completely understand that I need to shut her out of my life once and for all. Even though I know that, I still miss her when I know I should despise her. I am now going to do my best to not contact her at all for any reason. In some ways I am glad to know the truth even though it now stings worse because she left me for someone else. It makes it easier to accept reality. The question is will I be naive enough to go back when this next guy does not work out? I can only hope not... Any advice??? When I asked her point blank if there was someone else in the picture she said no - why all the lies?
Misty2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Hi It's no use beating yourself up for things that you had done in the past. All you did was trust someone and believe someone that didn't deserve it. That's their problem not yours. All you need to concentrate on now so that you have seen how she acts. you know in your heart what will happen if you continue on the same path. She has shown you that she is not gonna change so you have to Be strong if she comes back again. Know that you deserve better. Know that there are so many more people in the world that deserve your trust and respect, and will trust and respect you in return. All you have to do is change that path And if you find yourself falling back into old ways, remember where it all lead before.
jr15628 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Well first of all, i assume that both of you are probabely over 18 and maybe to early 20's. But the thing here is remember, this is one of many loves that may come into your life. Maybe not many but until you reach an age and someone like you, this can sometimes take a lifetime, or a short time. the thing to remember while looking for this person, you have to expect the unexpected. And if all fails then at least if you care about someone then you will let that person leave and make there own decisions. They may not be the decisions you like, but everything is a learning experience. If you let her go with out all the drama, at least you have a chance in letting her make the choice in contacting you some other time in the fututre. An d don't mistake this for another romantic relationship. But at least there is truly a friendship if that is all that can be there. be strong, do not contact her for now. let her move on, accept that for now. Doesn't mean she forgot about you. Just going through with what life brings her. and you need to do the same. Do sell yourself short.
Author maui2k4 Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 I agree with what you wrote about walking away with your head up. One thing you were a little off on - I am 32 and she is almost 34. Believe me - I have felt like I have been involved in high school games for far too long...
stupidguy Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 The question is will I be naive enough to go back when this next guy does not work out? I can only hope not... Any advice??? When I asked her point blank if there was someone else in the picture she said no - why all the lies? Man, I feel for you. I felt the same way only a few days ago. Even struggled with sending her a stupid email. Im realizing just how bizarre the rush of it was making me act, and I didnt like it. Not one bit. now, Im starting to realize that she just isnt worth it. Cannot be trusted. Doesnt deserve me. I think your looking at the same thing in the face here. My advice is do what I am doing, move on. There has to be someone out there that will appreciate your loyalty. Good luck.
Author maui2k4 Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 The best thing I can do is walk away and never look back for any reason. Even if I am single and she is single I need to stay far away. She obviously does not appreciate me for who I am and what I offer. She is apparently looking fot the thrill of meeting someone new. She has done this before - she will do it again. At least this time I do not have to be the one getting screwed over again. I can say I am done with her. It is tough knowing that just week ago I was spending the night with her, but I would rather sleep with myslf alone than in the same bed with a liar. Being that I have been through this before with her, I am not as upset as in the past. I am more bothered that I allowed myself to get suckered in again. That is something I can control and cannot let happen again. For any reason. She has used her dog being sick and all kinds of excuses to keep me around. I hope for my benefit she stays away. I just have a feeling she won't when I back away from her for good. Last year when I was seeing someone else and did not give a crap she threw herself at me as much as she could to win me back - then a few months later the same thing - wanted out... I am done with this roller coaster. There has to be someone better out there somewhere.
honey2005 Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 I agree with the above posts. When/if she comes back after it doesn't work out with this guy, don't go back. You don't have to be her fallback boyfriend anymore. You deserve someone who will love you and give you the respect and trust you deserve, not someone who will leave you when they think they spot something better. The question is will I be naive enough to go back when this next guy does not work out? I can only hope not... Any advice??? When I asked her point blank if there was someone else in the picture she said no - why all the lies? I'm guessing because if it doesn't work out with this guy she will want you to be there for her to go back to. If you don't think she left you for someone else you will be more willing to take her back.
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